The Edcawber Principle

Hey Ed.

I feel a bit nervous to write this as the consensus seems to be that most people allow their children to sleep in their beds with them. To each their own, but it was never something that I was happy with.

We always had a really strict routine with the boys from the beginning really. Such as; all night feeds were done in the dark with just a night light, no talking, no coo'ing, no smiles etc - we literally just did the feed, nappy change, little cuddle and then straight back down to sleep. We never did the lights on, chit chat, watch telly etc. We saw friends do this, saw that the babies didn't tend to sleep and were determined that we wanted babies that slept. It worked a treat, even better the second time around as we were less anxious and didn't second guess our "strategy" as much. It's not for everyone, but those who I know that have done the same thing have had the same results. The babies actually seemed to be really contented as they were getting lots of sleep

Once they were able to walk/wander around etc they obviously did do the whole thing where they'd have a cry in the night, say they prefer our bed or that they can't sleep etc.... we'd always give a cuddle to reassure but they'd be promptly taken back to their rooms settled, repeat... They soon understood the deal and it faded out fast.

Don't get be wrong - I love a cuddle with the little ones in my bed, but it's in the morning on a weekend after a certain time

As for retraining, I think the most important thing is that yourself and Mrs Ed are in 100% agreement on how you'll tackle - if one of you is weak, the little one will sense it, lol! Think through and agree your strategy and then stick with it religiously. It'll take a little while but it'll be worth it in the long run.

We've some friends who never really had a routine and stood firm - they children are now 14 and 9 - they still sleep with their parents very often and the parents struggle to get them to bed... in fact, it's quite the norm for the parents to go to bed and the children sort themselves out - either sleeping in the lounge, the parents room (bed or the parents floor - they're not fussy) and occasionally their own rooms!!!

I've only shared since you asked, so I hope this is OK. It wasn't the easiest thing in the world sticking to a routine and sometimes I felt like a bit**, but honestly, for the our sakes and the children's it was totally worth it. (They're 14 & 8 now)

Best of luck, L x

I also did some gardening over the weekend and last night too - lots of mowing and re-seeding the lawn, cutting back ivy and vines and weeding the flowerbed. If was Day of the Triffids in some places - I don't know how they grow so much!!


Luckily it is brown bin collection on Friday, so can empty it out and refill with more! Find it all quite therapeutic.

beanielou wrote: »

Happy birthday to your lovely DD
3 already :j :j :j

Have a lovely weekend

From me too, Ed. Stately home sounds wonderful!