I WILL get there!!

crazy_cat_lady · 21 April 2016 at 8:51PM

Best of luck with it all Kirsty. I've said it before, but it's your decision to make and you know where your stop point is. Every relationship takes compromise and effort from both sides...

Kitten868 · 21 April 2016 at 10:05PM

I'm not judging you at all. You know your world better than any of us. Really hope the holiday is nice xxxx

kirtsypoos · 22 April 2016 at 9:12AM

I tend to judge myself more than others judge me Kitten, I constantly question whether I do the right thing - I don't have a lot of confidence in my decision making (apart from when it comes to monies, which is the only thing I seem to be able to control at the moment)

We went for a meal last night, partly to celebrate me hitting 50%, partly because we had a groupon voucher that needed to be used before we go away so it only cost us £4.50 last night, which OH paid :money:

We will need to talk more over the weekend but I have developed a very unpleasant cough and cold which seems to be moving onto my chest and I'm struggling to catch my breath at times and all I seem to want to do is sleep. I will make time for talking, and for doing bits around the house this weekend. Along with washing, ironing, packing, picking up last minute forgotten bits etc etc.... the list goes on, and I already know I'll be asleep by 9 tonight!

It's going to take a lot of compromise on both our parts, and a lot of effort from both of us but I think I have to try until
a) the holiday is over
b) his counselling gets properly underway, if he really does have some sort of addiciton, he needs help dealing with it and I think I would always question whether or not it was fix-able and I just left before he had the tools to fix it, if that makes sense?

kirtsypoos · 25 April 2016 at 9:15AM

Well I had an ok weekend, we put a shed up in the garden and I had my god daughter on saturday night again.

I'll be honest though, I love her to bits but she was a devil child on Sunday - overtired and screamed non stop for 3.5 hours, nothing would stop her. She didn't want a bottle or food, didn't want to be cuddled but didn't want to be put down, just in a general bad, overtired mood but would not give in to a nap!

I'm almost packed for holiday, just need to find a few more bits which I'm guessing are in the 3 boxes we still have in the spare room - I have one flip flop and no clue where the other is :cool:

Jury is still out on OH, still have no idea whether this can be fixed, and it is getting me down a bit at times. Trying to stay positive, and we are continuing to talk things through - doesn't always go pleasantly but I think it's important we continue to be open and honest about how we are feeling, otherwise what's the point?

Hope everyone is well. Sorry for being whingey!

crazy_cat_lady · 25 April 2016 at 8:52PM

Hang on in there Kirsty - hope that you get your appointment soon. I spoke to Relate today and found them really supportive and helpful. I can only echo the fantastic advice I've had myself and say that you will know once it's a lost cause. Love and hugs to you.

kirtsypoos · 26 April 2016 at 7:10AM

Thanks ccl, you too

I'm so pleased that relate were good for you, I may give ours a chase up call being as I've paid for the initial consult but they've still not had the time available to complete it!

kirtsypoos · 27 April 2016 at 12:56PM

It's official - out of office is on

and I am in full on holiday mode!

Travelling down south to the airport tonight and flying early hours of tomorrow AM - I can't wait to actually be in the sun!

We have booked all the excursions we wanted to do, including a half day session at a Moroccan Hammam Spa with an argan oil massage and facial - I already know it will be the most relaxed I will have felt for ages.

We are also going quad biking and to watch the World Touring Car Moroccan Grand Prix next weekend so lots to look forward to, but mostly just chilling by the pool with a good book or 12 and a cocktail...heaven!

I doubt I'll get on to update again once we have left so keep well everyone

If I can access wifi the PADs will still be happening, if not I'll add up every day I would have PADed and make one larger one when we get back

BEAT_THE_DEBT · 27 April 2016 at 2:41PM

Enjoy your hols

x

Desperate_to_be_debt_free · 27 April 2016 at 3:45PM

Have a fab holiday x

crazy_cat_lady · 27 April 2016 at 7:25PM

Enjoy the hols. Hope that it gives you the time and space that you need to get your head sorted. Sounds like you are going to have a fantastic time.

I WILL get there!!

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