When to know it's time to make that final vet journey?

hunnycat · 17 June 2017 at 11:35PM

About a year ago I asked for advice for my old boy urinating in the house original thread here : http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5459932

Thank you for all the messages and advice.

Now his health is failing, we were at the vet today and she has said
To keep a diary of good and bad days. Then go back in a month to have another assessment. she has given me 2 options.
Option 1: plan now and set a date and stick to it.
Option 2: wait until he gets worse and akes ill.

We have exhausted the incontince treatments and have just accepted that's life and have some specialist cleaning stuff and barred
Him from our beds as we had to get new mattresses. He is also now allowed in some rooms when we are out. Thankfully we got 2
Kittens who are now a year old and love him so they sleep beside him at night.

He still has a bit of a spring in his step but he sleeps all day, is almost completely blind and has only slight hearing. He is struggling a little with the stairs as we have loads in our house.

What are your experiences of your beloved friend taking their last journey? I want to go with option 2 but feel it's potentially cruel.

Please don't judge me for thus post, I have had a traumatic 6 months and really feel I am not making good judgements at the moment so looking for advice and experiences. X

tacpot12 · 18 June 2017 at 8:17AM

Option 2 could be cruel if he is in pain at the point he is taken ill, but the alternative is pro-active euthanasia of an animal that may still be happy.

It's a difficult decision for sure. I think I would be worried about him becoming very ill when I wasn't around, and him suffering as a result. If you are always at home and the vet is very near, option 2 might be ok, but option 1 is the kindest if he is really on his last legs.

Although it's hard to say goodbye to a friend, it is best that they go without pain and with you there to say goodbye.

orlao · 18 June 2017 at 10:18AM

It's never an easy decision to make but even harder when there's no emergency that leaves no alternative. It does sound like your vet thinks it's nearly time.

I'm a subscriber to the school of thought that 'better a week too early rather than a hour too late' in circumstances like this. I can't say that I've always got it right with my own animals over the years but I've never felt guilt about the planned PTS but to my shame, there have been pets that ended up being emergency euthanasias with all the stress that entails because I didn't make the decision in time...

I also have the vets to the house for planned PTS, it's a bit more expensive and you might have to work to their schedule but less stressful for all concerned IME.

sheramber · 18 June 2017 at 1:17PM

Is he still enjoying lie or is life tiring or difficult for him?

How do you want to remember him?

My 15 year old dog was very weak on her back legs and would spend some days dull eyed and in her bed. Other days she was alert but would stumble and fall going down the step at the back door collapsing in a heap. I was worried she would break a leg one time and her end would be remembered with her screaming in pain. I decided she had struggled on long enough. She would not get any better. How much worse could we let her get?

The vet agreed with my decision that the time had come.

It is never a easy decision but it is the last kindness you can do for your pet.

May I Go Now?

May I go now?
Do you think the time is right?
May I say goodbye to pain filled days
and endless lonely nights?
I've lived my life and done my best,
an example tried to be.
So can I take that step beyond
and set my spirit free?

I didn't want to go at first,
I fought with all my might.
But something seems to draw me now
to a warm and loving light.
I want to go
I really do.
It's difficult to stay.

But I will try as best I can
to live just one more day.
To give you time to care for me
and share your love and fears.
I know you're sad and afraid,
because I see your tears.

I'll not be far,
I promise that, and hope you'll always know
that my spirit will be close to you
wherever you may go.
Thank you so for loving me.
You know I love you too,
that's why it's hard to say goodbye
and end this life with you.

So hold me now just one more time
and let me hear you say,
because you care so much for me,
you'll let me go today.

- Written for a beloved pet & friend, by Susan A. Jackson

Ilona · 18 June 2017 at 1:44PM

The hardest decision to have to make. My old boy woke me at 4.30 am crying, he was telling me that it was time. Twas a bank holiday Sunday. I rang the vet, they gave me a time, and came to the house. There was no way I was going to take him to a place that he didn't like very much. Cost a lot of money, £270, but he was comfortable in his own bed and drifted off to sleep.

Only you can decide what's best for your pet. I had psyched myself up that the inevitable was going to happen, he told me when he'd had enough. Best wishes,
Ilona

Jojo_the_Tightfisted · 18 June 2017 at 2:48PM

It might be a very hard thing to suggest, but sometimes an impartial eye can see what the heart can't.

Would you consider putting up a photo of him as he is right now? If he looks like my cats have, or how friends' cats have, I'll be honest with you.

Mrs_Z · 18 June 2017 at 8:57PM

It's always difficult but there comes a point when the quality of life is no longer there. When we faced this with our elderly cat and had run out of options with the vet, for me it was easier to set 'the date' in advance. We had vet come to our home and would recommend this option if available. That way, you do not need to distress poorly animal any further with car journeys, etc. I chose Friday so that I'd had the weekend to get over the worst and in some way it was good to know the date in advance as it kind of gives you a bit of time to prepare mentally. I had to say, our vet was great, the receptionist phoned us when the vet was on her way, even though it's only 5 min away and we were expecting her.
It was all very dignified and I'm now firmly in the camp that better a week early than a day late.
It's not easy, but you know when it is the right thing to do and the time has come.

newatc · 18 June 2017 at 9:26PM

Our last dog had a form of seizure and our vet convinced us, to be fair we didn't take much convincing, that she could still have a good life. A year later we took the decision it was time to put her out of misery.
That final year for desperate for her and us and I now realise we should have been braver much earlier.

UKTigerlily · 18 June 2017 at 9:29PM

orlao wrote: »

It's never an easy decision to make but even harder when there's no emergency that leaves no alternative. It does sound like your vet thinks it's nearly time.

I'm a subscriber to the school of thought that 'better a week too early rather than a hour too late' in circumstances like this. I can't say that I've always got it right with my own animals over the years but I've never felt guilt about the planned PTS but to my shame, there have been pets that ended up being emergency euthanasias with all the stress that entails because I didn't make the decision in time...

I also have the vets to the house for planned PTS, it's a bit more expensive and you might have to work to their schedule but less stressful for all concerned IME.

Me too . . last June I had to let my dog go & 5.5 weeks later my cat. I made the decision to let them go early as I had to do it for them, not me. I actually take comfort that my dog walked in all happy & wagging her tail, enjoying everything but feeling nothing, as i'd hate to take her when ill & to have let her suffer at all

Asking shows just how much you care, but i'd probably be taking him/her in now as it sounds like it's only going one way, either way i'm so sorry x

elsien · 18 June 2017 at 9:37PM

I'm not sure I could do the make a date and stick to it option. Because if the day came and he was having a good day I'm not sure I'd be able to stick with it.
My last had a sudden emergency that needed PTS straight away, the one before was taken ill in kennels while I was on holiday so the decision was made without me. I did have a conversation with the vet though, and he said that the day mutt stopped putting up a fight would be the day to let her go. If you're not sure, be guided by the vet. A good vet will tell you if they think you're trying to hang on for too long.

no1catman · 18 June 2017 at 9:48PM

I worry, when you say the cat has a problem with the stairs. I say that, as I remember well what my vet said in relation to my previous cat's CRF, when I asked how will I know it's time to say good-bye?
He said that when she loses too much muscle in he legs - problems with mobility.

In February her blood tests were three times above high, a 'pain' at night with her howling, got that under control, got her to eat - white fish. Moving house helped - away from the stress of local cats. Enjoyed the summer in the much larger garden, but come November didn't like the stairs.

So, out of love we said good-bye, at twenty she had a good life - still miss her, many years later.

When to know it's time to make that final vet journey?

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