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    • geeovana
    • By geeovana 12th Mar 18, 7:10 PM
    • 43Posts
    • 41Thanks
    geeovana
    Obsessed
    • #1
    • 12th Mar 18, 7:10 PM
    Obsessed 12th Mar 18 at 7:10 PM
    I have been saving hard for the past two years and managed to fill up my S&S ISA's for 2016/17 and 2017/18, buy a house with my partner, develop an emergency fund as well as maximising contributions at work for pension / share save schemes etc.

    I now find myself only wanting to save money and not spending any on myself or my partner / family as 'enjoyment' as I see it almost as a waste when I could be investing it.

    Examples are I will be receiving a bonus at the end of this month from work and I would love to change my car (currently have a cheap run-around) but cannot justify spending 3-4K on a 'new' one. My partner keep saying she would love a new bed, yet I see it as a 'waste of money'.

    How do you breakdown what is worth spending money on and what isn't?
Page 1
    • Alexland
    • By Alexland 12th Mar 18, 7:39 PM
    • 2,544 Posts
    • 1,928 Thanks
    Alexland
    • #2
    • 12th Mar 18, 7:39 PM
    • #2
    • 12th Mar 18, 7:39 PM
    You save and spend in line with your priorities. If you are reasonably putting enough aside to repay your mortgage and retire comfortably then it's ok to spend some money along the way. Sometimes your partner has different priorities to you so you need to try and see it from their perspective to understand the value.

    Personally I think a good bed is a sound investment. We bought a solid oak bed (direct from wholesaler not at retail prices) about 5 years ago and I haven't regretted it once and hope it lasts a very long time. When you learn too much about what ends up in mattresses you will realise they are worth replacing too.

    Alex
    Last edited by Alexland; 12-03-2018 at 7:49 PM.
    • John-K
    • By John-K 12th Mar 18, 8:01 PM
    • 654 Posts
    • 1,014 Thanks
    John-K
    • #3
    • 12th Mar 18, 8:01 PM
    • #3
    • 12th Mar 18, 8:01 PM
    I have been saving hard for the past two years and managed to fill up my S&S ISA's for 2016/17 and 2017/18, buy a house with my partner, develop an emergency fund as well as maximising contributions at work for pension / share save schemes etc.

    I now find myself only wanting to save money and not spending any on myself or my partner / family as 'enjoyment' as I see it almost as a waste when I could be investing it.

    Examples are I will be receiving a bonus at the end of this month from work and I would love to change my car (currently have a cheap run-around) but cannot justify spending 3-4K on a 'new' one. My partner keep saying she would love a new bed, yet I see it as a 'waste of money'.

    How do you breakdown what is worth spending money on and what isn't?
    Originally posted by geeovana
    I used to spend 10% of my net bonus on something nice each year. As it has increased over the years, I cut that back, but nowadays instead set aside an amount in an account that is purely for unnecessary things. It pays for the car upgrades, a nice watch, or, last year, a posh clock.

    This means that I never touch the money that I have earmarked for normal bills, living, emergency fund, investments etc.
    • bowlhead99
    • By bowlhead99 12th Mar 18, 8:01 PM
    • 7,970 Posts
    • 14,499 Thanks
    bowlhead99
    • #4
    • 12th Mar 18, 8:01 PM
    • #4
    • 12th Mar 18, 8:01 PM
    . My partner keep saying she would love a new bed, yet I see it as a 'waste of money'.

    How do you breakdown what is worth spending money on and what isn't?
    Originally posted by geeovana
    Assuming she's going to be 'enjoying' the new bed with you? Take such opportunities when you're young and able. There's nothing chivalrous or gloat-worthy about slumming it so that you're able to afford the most expensive pyjamas in the nursing home.

    Besides, a bed is something you spend about a third of your life in and is much cheaper than a car.

    Congratulations on your other saving and investing achievements and it's great that you're financially 'on track'.

    The way I'd look at it is: over recent years you really *had* to save a lot because there were things you needed rather than wanted. Maslow came up with a "heirarchy of needs" where food and shelter are quite important whereas Truck Nutz, not so much. But basically it sounds like you didn't have a good emergency fund, you didn't have a house with your partner, weren't maxing your wealth-generating investments at work, didn't have a couple of years' worth of stacked investment ISAs, etc. So you maxed the savings to cover those 'basics' - you can think of them as basics on a long road to a happy middle age and retirement.

    Whereas now, you already have the basics covered and if you've managed to max all your ISAs out at the same time as sharesaves and so on and building up emergency funds then presumably you have a pretty decent income. [maybe high rate tax? If so, consider more private pension ahead of more ISA]. What you have to consider next is what are you using that decent income *for*. Why work at all?

    You can start from the far end and plan backwards from what you want/need to retire on, to what that costs you now to invest for it. And what other life goals you have on a shorter term basis but still pretty long term- kids, home upgrades, travel, settling a chunk of mortgage when interest rates rise and you want a lower LTV, etc - and what it costs to start saving/investing towards those things, and how they could be funded.

    Presuming you are putting money away monthly for that sort of stuff on top of the money you need for bills and short-to-medium term home maintenance etc, and you still have money left over - spend it. Why else earn it? If you don't want the money, take an easier or more rewarding job that pays less.

    Sounds like you are in the 'habit' of wanting to save which is no bad thing - always nicer to have more put away than you need, than less. But perhaps a shift of mentality is needed from "must save everything as need emergency fund and property and pension and ISA and to maximise work benefits" to, "OK, this over here is what I *need* to spend or save and it doesn't cost all I earn so this is what's nice to have now or at the end of the month, quarter, year, next birthday for her or him, etc.".

    To go back to an earlier point:

    Beds and mattresses depreciate from being great at the start to being unusable at the end. But if you plotted them on a graph they would flatline for a very long time before expiring. The trick is not to have a crap bed for those last five years and then buy a new one and be saying *'!*# why didn't we do this years ago. Instead, do it years ago.

    Are you still in a king or double because you couldn't fit a superkingsize in your last property and didn't have an emergency fund or maxed pensions so couldn't justify it? Now you have forty grand of investment ISAs and soon you will have a respectable plan for what to do with future money you earn. So, if you don't buy a big and comfy bed for top-notch sleeptime and sexytime, you're doing life wrong.

    All IMHO etc.
    • Thrugelmir
    • By Thrugelmir 12th Mar 18, 9:03 PM
    • 58,876 Posts
    • 52,198 Thanks
    Thrugelmir
    • #5
    • 12th Mar 18, 9:03 PM
    • #5
    • 12th Mar 18, 9:03 PM
    You'll spend far longer in the bed than you will the car. The bed is far cheaper and more importantly will improve the quality of your sleep.
    Somethings are worth paying out for. Likewise pillows. Everybodys tastes being different.
    Financial disasters happen when the last person who can remember what went wrong last time has left the building.
    • chockydavid1983
    • By chockydavid1983 12th Mar 18, 10:20 PM
    • 583 Posts
    • 354 Thanks
    chockydavid1983
    • #6
    • 12th Mar 18, 10:20 PM
    • #6
    • 12th Mar 18, 10:20 PM
    For the bed, even though you see it as a waste of money, you have to consider your partner's feelings on that. Also, a bed isn't that expensive in the scheme of things considering how much time you spend in it and how long it will (hopefully) last.
    OTOH, if you're happy enough with your car and it gets you from A to B, maybe it would be a waste to change it. It will also cost considerably more than a bed, probably last a shorter amount of time and depreciate in value quickly.
    • EJS_Superted
    • By EJS_Superted 13th Mar 18, 11:21 AM
    • 64 Posts
    • 39 Thanks
    EJS_Superted
    • #7
    • 13th Mar 18, 11:21 AM
    • #7
    • 13th Mar 18, 11:21 AM
    Well done on your saving. I think it's important to try and keep perspective on these things. I don't like spending money either but when I have to or when my partner wants to I try and remember that the majority of the population have no savings and stupidly expensive mobile phone contracts, car finance agreements etc. that they cant afford.

    In my opinion both of the purchases you describe sound reasonable if you don't need the money for anything else. Maintaining an old car can be just as costly as buying a new one anyway.

    Maybe you could open a regular saver or easy access savings account that you can pay in to monthly with the specific purpose of spending the money on bigger purchases that would otherwise make you uneasy. Maybe once you got in to the mindset that the money in that account is for spending you wouldn't feel so bad parting with it?
    • westy23
    • By westy23 13th Mar 18, 12:22 PM
    • 186 Posts
    • 94 Thanks
    westy23
    • #8
    • 13th Mar 18, 12:22 PM
    • #8
    • 13th Mar 18, 12:22 PM
    Have been a moderate saver for over 40 years but we never went without and have had plenty of holidays, new cars, motorcycles and treated our sons financially very well.
    Itís all about a happy balance.
    Wife now in hospital fighting ovarian cancer and two brain Cavernomas.
    Just glad we spent what we did while we could and enjoyed life.
    Enjoy spending as who knows whatís around the corner.
    My advice for most people is save a little spend a lot.
    Because despite what anyone tells you we get one chance at it.
    • fiisch
    • By fiisch 13th Mar 18, 12:58 PM
    • 284 Posts
    • 162 Thanks
    fiisch
    • #9
    • 13th Mar 18, 12:58 PM
    • #9
    • 13th Mar 18, 12:58 PM
    You can sleep in a car, but you can't race a bed....


    I've had a recent mindset shift where I'm getting a little bit that way, and my partner is pushing for me to open up the purse-strings a little. There is a happy medium, but money is there to be enjoyed (whether that's instant or deferred gratification is up to you), but if you're filling your ISA's I'd suggest a bed and "new" car to replace the runaround should definitely be done, but that's just me, and as you can see from my signature - I'm only planning on actually saving £6k this year (plus AVCs).
    Save £6k in 2018: £1651.19 / £6000
    • atush
    • By atush 13th Mar 18, 1:38 PM
    • 16,795 Posts
    • 10,481 Thanks
    atush
    If your bed is old (by bed I mean mattress) get a new one.

    A better night's sleep is priceless.

    AS for car, I get you. I saved 500 a month into reg saver to replace my car for cash. but I was putting 3 thru university. We kept putting it off as I basically didnt want to spend all that money.

    We finally bought 'new' cars last year (both 2 years old) but we did put it off for years until our cars were 17 and 14 years old. WE ended up doing it as the 17 yr old one was too expensive to repair at its service.

    That basically kicked us into gear. Spending nearly 30K was painful at first, but in the end we are building up new savings even faster and have made up quite a bit.

    You do need to spend sometime, but do it carefully and wisely.
    • nb73
    • By nb73 13th Mar 18, 10:22 PM
    • 91 Posts
    • 122 Thanks
    nb73
    Buying a new bed is a big decision.

    I think you should sleep on it.
    • forextc
    • By forextc 13th Mar 18, 10:34 PM
    • 62 Posts
    • 23 Thanks
    forextc
    The glass is half full or half empty.

    I know plenty of people who spend everything today and forsake tomorrow as well as those who have saved all their lives and now have no reason to spend.

    Life is a funny thing as you never know what is around the next corner.

    Save and invest for your future but don't postpone your happiness as it may never come.
    • thenewcomer
    • By thenewcomer 13th Mar 18, 11:32 PM
    • 95 Posts
    • 21 Thanks
    thenewcomer
    i am half a spender and half a saver. i reward myself occasionally.
    • Emily Joy
    • By Emily Joy 14th Mar 18, 12:27 AM
    • 119 Posts
    • 58 Thanks
    Emily Joy
    How do you breakdown what is worth spending money on and what isn't?
    Originally posted by geeovana
    There are necessities: for instance, I can't afford my laptop to stop working while I am on business abroad, so the laptop must be reliable. I also have back problems and find it difficult to do anything when in pain, so I happily paid for a proper mattress. For everything extra, I take the ratio between the price and the number of days I am likely to enjoy it. A pasta machine used once a year doesn't worth £60.
    • grey gym sock
    • By grey gym sock 14th Mar 18, 3:49 AM
    • 4,383 Posts
    • 3,933 Thanks
    grey gym sock
    You can sleep in a car, but you can't race a bed....
    Originally posted by fiisch
    au contraire ... https://www.bedrace.co.uk/

    you can do a "bed & ISA", but you can't do a "car & ISA" .............

    look at the cost in £ per hour that you will use it.

    by that measure, a new bed is going to come out cheaper than just about any expenditure you can think of. that is assuming that the new bed has a better mattress, so you'll notice the difference while you're asleep. (but if there were no noticeable difference in the quality of the mattress, then you couldn't count the time you're asleep, so the calculation wouldn't be so favourable.)

    a car is less obviously worthwhile. how would a 'new' car do the job better, for the way you're actually using it? this is definitely an area of expenditure where some people waste a lot of money. however, i take it you would be paying in a cash for a 'new' car, which means you are avoiding the worst common car mistake.

    mr money mustache has some good rants about how not to waste money on cars - e.g. http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2011/05/02/car-strategies-to-cut-your-costs-in-four-or-more/ ... see if you can justify a 'new' car under his 'rules'.
    • tessiesmummy
    • By tessiesmummy 14th Mar 18, 6:08 AM
    • 146 Posts
    • 126 Thanks
    tessiesmummy
    Oh dear your wofe must be fuming! Youve got all that cash in the bank amd wont buy a bed. But if she biys ome you'll happily sleep in it amd reap the rewards?

    Ive got a few relatives that have got grands in the bank and live like theyre in poverty because theyre too stingy to spend it. Its a bloomimg miserable horrible way to be and you wont enjoy life being that way! As others have said youre a long time dead. And dont be surprised if the wife leaves you one day becuase you are so tight fisted you arent
    spending any on myself or my partner / family as 'enjoyment' as I see it almost as a waste
    forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5789716 Debt Free Wannabe
    • Sea Shell
    • By Sea Shell 14th Mar 18, 6:54 AM
    • 778 Posts
    • 1,052 Thanks
    Sea Shell
    As a life-long saver, I know that it's hard to turn into a spender, especially once you start to live off your hard earned savings. Seeing balances fall can be a bit....

    But sometimes we have to just open our wallets and buy the things we need (and sometimes want). For me a new mattress would be a definite BUY, as good sleep is worth its weight in gold, but maybe not if its just a fancy new bed frame/base... a new(er) car...hmm maybe depends on how reliable your current run-around is.
    Last edited by Sea Shell; 14-03-2018 at 6:57 AM.
    " That pound I saved yesterday, is a pound I don't have to earn tomorrow "
    • joeblags
    • By joeblags 14th Mar 18, 10:19 AM
    • 157 Posts
    • 107 Thanks
    joeblags
    I have the same problem.. from been in debt on a crap wage to a 80% yearly increase in money allowed me to pay my debts then start saving... got to 5k and remember thinking how quick I saved 5k which was suppose to be for a new car, then got to 10k and thought wow I could save enough to even buy a house here. right now I have quite a lot of money and also want a new car but just cant allow my self to buy one. I keep looking at them and thinking why not but end up backing down.


    right now im thinking why spend all my life paying a mortgage on an expensive house? I live in a rented house from some private company and could buy this from them cash and get a 3x3m extension to meet our size needs. some old fella at work spent his life paying a mortgage to only get so annoyed he sold his house for £265k and bought some caravan for 30k on a site and now lives there for 50 weeks of the year with next to no costs...
    Last edited by joeblags; 14-03-2018 at 10:24 AM.
    • Wassa123
    • By Wassa123 14th Mar 18, 11:03 AM
    • 336 Posts
    • 160 Thanks
    Wassa123
    I'm the same, I rarely buy myself anything and am quite happy with my hobbies. I'm saving/investing £1k a month and just plodding along.

    I feel like I should get a new car. It's 11 years old, full of dings and scratches. But it works fine and I don't really have a need. Maybe when we have kids I may consider changing, but otherwise it does the job.
    • ManofLeisure
    • By ManofLeisure 14th Mar 18, 12:22 PM
    • 438 Posts
    • 993 Thanks
    ManofLeisure

    I now find myself only wanting to save money and not spending any on myself or my partner / family as 'enjoyment' as I see it almost as a waste when I could be investing it.
    Originally posted by geeovana
    Why not create an account which you use solely for 'enjoyment'. It doesn't have to include large sums of money and maybe it would encourage you to splash out a little . No need to feel guilty - enjoy yourself.
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