I want to stop drowning

debtaghh · 27 July 2016 at 10:00AM

Hi,

I am not sure where to start or what I want from this but here goes ...

We are in major debt and things seem to be getting worse, I have been looking at this site for years and know there is no point me posting my soa as we literally can't cut back any more e.g

food shop for fam of 5 £240- if you can help me reduce this then that would be great. I shop at Aldi, Lidl etc and have most shops locally.
We just got rid of sky and have reduced mobiles, gas etc.

We can't do an iva or dmp etc as we are in rented accomadation and I know estate agents can use guarantors etc but we don't have one plus they are not that keen as I have mentioned it before to them. Where we live , it's really hard to rent as there are limited properties and having bad credit would just go against us which we really can't do.

Our biggest issues are that I do things that I end up regretting e.g booking holidays in the uk which still add up, book parties for the kids etc. I don't know how we got into so much debt but assume it must be down to this and i've never been on a good salary. My business has been hit badly and never recovered. I'm currently looking for a part time job but can't see this happening soon as I need it to be enough salary to cover childcare for my baby. My husband is on a good salary but works shifts which means I can't rely on him for childcare help and we don't have any family that can help us. I've tried working for direct selling companies and sell things on music magpie, ebay and gumtree ( I literally have nothing else to sell). I use cashbaack sites too and did do surverys but never seem to be eligible but will stary back with that- any recommendations for good ones? Or any ideas of making more money from home?

We are due to go away soon and I would love to have advice on how we can save money on food whilst staying at a hotel, I thought I will bring snacks from home and croissants, drink cartons for breakfast but don't want to be speending loads on lunch and dinners.

I also feel pressure from my family when it comes to birthdays and christmas time with regards to buying expensive pressies. We have a holiday booked at christmas too ( I know not ideal).

I supoose I'm writng this to start afresh as I can't carry on like this anymore. I am severly depressed and wake up exhausted every day and have no motivation to do anything. I feel like we are drowing in debt. I am currently receiving cbt but in all honesty the crux of the situation is the debt is the issue. I'm sick of having regrets and living life like this so fingers crossed to new me, it' going to take years but here goes.....

debtaghh · 27 July 2016 at 10:39AM

Day 1:

I am going to look for survey sites, take a look at finances and see where I can cut back on present spending and holiday money spending.

I am taking my son to his friend's house so should be a nsd ( have chocs already to bring with me)

List a few baby items on gumtree and I will see if there is anything else I can sell.

I need to also write a meal plan and try using what's in the cupboard.

Grunge_girl · 27 July 2016 at 12:24PM

Hello, it sounds that you're overwhelmed by it all but putting it down on your diary is a start to try and sort things out. I may not be much help because i am new on here just begun writing my diary last week but already it's making a difference. I am thinking before i spend on anything which i wasn't doing at all before. I am sure others on here will offer great advice.
I have been away before without a lot of spending money though. Whilst the weathers good u can have picnic lunches. Take some paper plates and some cutlery with you it's quite cheep to buy french sticks and tub of soft cheese or similar and filling. It's hard when you go away isn't it the cost of eating out soon adds up!

debtaghh · 27 July 2016 at 1:25PM

Grunge_girl wrote: »

Hello, it sounds that you're overwhelmed by it all but putting it down on your diary is a start to try and sort things out. I may not be much help because i am new on here just begun writing my diary last week but already it's making a difference. I am thinking before i spend on anything which i wasn't doing at all before. I am sure others on here will offer great advice.
I have been away before without a lot of spending money though. Whilst the weathers good u can have picnic lunches. Take some paper plates and some cutlery with you it's quite cheep to buy french sticks and tub of soft cheese or similar and filling. It's hard when you go away isn't it the cost of eating out soon adds up!

Thanks for your reply Grunge girl and good idea about taking paper plates and cutlery as we can pop to a supermarket daily. Def feeling overwhelmed but glad to hear you are finding your diary is helping- I will try and find yours and subscribe.

I feel I have already had a productive few hours as I have listed 10 items on gumtree, meal planned and may have a buyer for our car:j we should find out later if we do. We have been thinking about selling it for a while as is worth approx £9k so seems silly being depressed about debt when we have £9k sitting on the street. We would still have to buy another car for approx £3k but still should be able to pay a lump sum off debt and maybe keep 1k as an emergency fund as we have nothing.

beecher2 · 27 July 2016 at 1:31PM

Would still say you should post a Statement of Affairs as sometimes someone else can see something you maybe haven't thought of. People can also give help on which debt to tackle first etc.

Kitten868 · 27 July 2016 at 7:32PM

First step for you is make a budget and stick to it. Even if it means just minimum payments to credit cards. Just getting a control on money can be so liberating. Plus that way every month your debt is getting smaller every month even if just by a little bit. I have one account for spending and one for bills so I can't accidentally spend my bills money. Just learning what £100 buys has made a real impact to me, using credit cards meant I had no concept of money.
You don't need to be debt free to relax you just need to be in control and know you can do this. You'll get there soon xxxx

debtaghh · 27 July 2016 at 7:51PM

Thanks for your replies. I think I'm ashamed to put my soa on here and all credit cards are on 0% or 6.9% for the life of the balance apart from one which is the one we will clear if the car sells.

I def think I will start to feel better seeing it go down and it being managable, we only pay the minimums but even that is becoming a struggle. I am hoping if the car sells this will make our minimums lower as we will be clearing some debt.

The guy has offered to buy the car but needs to check it first so hopefully by the weekend we should know more.

What survery sites would people recommend?
Can anyone feed a family of 5 for less than £240 per month?

Thanks for all your advice so far.

tori.k · 27 July 2016 at 9:23PM

You have nothing to be ashamed about, we all have different needs and wants

Im amazed you can feed a family of 5 for £240PM what a boss

that's my budget for 2.5 adults and two of us are veggies. I would say you'd be hard pressed to reduce that without impacting on health and debt is never worth that.
Have you looked at snowballing your debts even a few extra pounds can make all the difference https://www.whatsthecost.com/snowball.aspx

Best of luck

smallholdingsister · 28 July 2016 at 6:47AM

Do you HAVE to go away?
Can't you cancel if you can't afford it?

What work would be possible around your husband's shifts?

I would go out cleaning/babysitting/dog walking if I had to. Can you do those?

debtaghh · 28 July 2016 at 6:57AM

I will look at snowballing, thanks.

Had a lovely afternoon yesterday and didn't spend a penny.

I've woken up feeling a bit unsettled about this car situation. I suppose I am a bit gutted as we have never owned a new car and this was the first time. I also worked out that once buying another car it will only save £100 per month ( I say only as it would have been nice if it could have been more).

Do people think we should sell and clear approx £6k of debt and buy a seconhand car which could potentailly have issues? How much do you think we should spend on a seconhand reliable car?

Will try and be positive and play around with figures again ( I seem to do this daily, not really sure what I expect to achieve).

Will log on to a survey site as yesterday it was down and will try finding other ones,

I watched eat well for less last night and it amazes me how much they still spent even with the savings but I do find it enjoyable to watch and learn a few tips, I will also try and reserve the book they advertised from the library,

Will attempt to look for more jobs but because I look daily it seems to be the same jobs up. I think in September I will focus more on job hunting and sorting my Cv out because I stlll have my business ( if you call it that, no sales since sun:eek::eek:) and the chn will be back to school.

debtaghh · 28 July 2016 at 7:11AM

smallholdingsister wrote: »

Do you HAVE to go away?
Can't you cancel if you can't afford it?

What work would be possible around your husband's shifts?

I would go out cleaning/babysitting/dog walking if I had to. Can you do those?

I've looked into cancelling and we would lose all our money :cool:
My husband's shift changes and on the day he could find out he is staying hours later so I really can't rely on him.

I'm happy to do most jobs but the problem I have is it needs to be enough money to cover childcare.

I want to stop drowning

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