What have I done ......

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  • Dimps_123
    Dimps_123 Posts: 94
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    Thank you
    x
    DIMPS
    Working towards being debt free :rotfl:June 2022
  • Dimps_123
    Dimps_123 Posts: 94
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    The weekend has been a mixed bag. Friday evening and all day Saturday spent frustrated with myself for being an idiot for getting myself into this mess (even though I totally know it has been going on for years and years!). Quite a few hours on my own, tears fell (a lot) and anger. To top it all off I made myself a lovely pasta sauce to eat and freeze some. Left it in the kitchen to cool and when I came back to check on it I found a fly had laid some eggs in my portion - to say I was angry was an understatement. I can count on one hand the number of flies that have come in, in the last three years and my windows are not even properly open so the pesky thing must have got lucky!!! So one mushroom omelette later, I further wasted my day by watching rubbish tv.


    However, I woke up on Sunday feeling a little better, family round for a roast and fathers day - it definitely helps having people round when you're feeling down :).


    Then horror of all horrors!!! I looked at some of my credit cards, wrote down what I need to move around - I have 3 with a balance (one of which is my son's) and one had fallen out of the 0% interest period - so I will be jiggling a little this week. I have a couple of loans and the total is not quite as bad as I originally thought.


    This week my plan is to write everything down, incoming/ outgoing/ debt/ payments and ways to pay more off. Hopefully that will give me more motivation to start doing this properly.


    I haven't heard anything about the jobs I want - got an offer of an interview for something else but the location is so far away I'd be travelling for over 3 hours a day and that is not practical for me. Although it means being patient which can be challenging at times, I will hold out for the right one.


    My lovely friend has come up with so many different great things for us to do to avoid me sitting around doing nothing - sad thing is every time she has suggested I'm already doing something. Makes me think I'm actually better off than I thought - just got to try not to get so down so much when I am on my own. I lose motivation so quickly, I have such a long list of things I really need to get done but when the motivation has gone they'll stay on the list for ages. This week I have written a little list for each day I am on my own - instead of one big one where I look at all and don't know where to start!


    Hope everyone had a great weekend and this week brings everything you want.


    xx
    DIMPS
    Working towards being debt free :rotfl:June 2022
  • Working_Mum
    Working_Mum Posts: 557
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    Dimps_123 wrote: »
    The weekend has been a mixed bag.

    However, I woke up on Sunday feeling a little better, family round for a roast and fathers day - it definitely helps having people round when you're feeling down :).

    I have a couple of loans and the total is not quite as bad as I originally thought.

    Hope everyone had a great weekend and this week brings everything you want.

    You have made some really good strides forward Dimps - don't be too hard on yourself.

    Change is difficult for everyone - few people really love change!! They procrastinate a bit and do the hokey kokey and eventually we work our way through it onto the other side!!

    You are in middle of great change in your life - discarding the old and bringing on new and improved behaviours. What worked for you before isn't working for you right now. You are adapting your life to be able build a good future for yourself!! That takes time, energy and tenacity!!

    I read an amazing book (it's a bit American-ised) and it helped me understand how I tick - it is called 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman - I am a "quality time" person and your comment above shows me that maybe you are too. You thrive around people and are not so good on your own!! Me too!! Once I understood this I could handle feeling uncomfy/lonely/ wobbly because I knew why and I could also take action to minimise the negative impact on me.

    You are on the cusp of a new life for yourself and it is exciting and daunting in equal measure. I think you understand a little "pity party" is good but it doesn't pay to be there all the time!! You sound really proactive and smart and these are two skills which will serve you well as you set out on this next adventure!!

    ((hugs))

    WM x
  • Dimps_123
    Dimps_123 Posts: 94
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    Thanks WM xx


    Stupid thing is I'm used to being on my own. I have no brothers or sisters so my childhood was quiet (I had some lovely lovely friends but that's not the same as having a sibling to get on your nerves all the time). My son is an only child too so whenever he was off with his friends/ camping/ on holiday/ whatever - I was usually alone. I think now that he is growing up and making a life for himself I feel that empty nest getting every nearer/ plus of course parents are not getting any younger and know the time alone is not quite as temporary as it used to be. I need to appreciate the times I have when I'm with him and my parents.


    I'll get used to my new normal I know, it just feels a bit unsettling - especially as I really want to change my job. What is it about me trying to do it all at once? lol


    xx
    DIMPS
    Working towards being debt free :rotfl:June 2022
  • Dimps_123
    Dimps_123 Posts: 94
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    Really low on motivation today - time of the month I think. Some months it can really really get to me :-(


    So I'm just going to get on with normal stuff today. Off to cinema with son tonight and then he's off out clubbing - stupid but that really upset me yesterday when he told me. As if I expected him to have to spend the whole evening with me! I just need to appreciate the time I do get with him. Common sense tells me I'm extremely lucky with the amount of time I get with my son and definitely more than most - yet I still want more. Hopefully my mood will sort itself out over the next couple of days.


    SOA will be written in full this week. I've been looking at timescales I have in the 0% period and hopefully I will have an idea of what needs to be done next. Plus if I'm lucky enough to get my Saturday job I can start paying off quicker than just the normal monthly direct debits.


    Tuesday is a meh day!


    xx
    DIMPS
    Working towards being debt free :rotfl:June 2022
  • Dimps_123
    Dimps_123 Posts: 94
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    So, I finally sat down and added up my debt. I kind of knew where it was but had forgotten about a credit card which had a fair balance on it. £35,563 in total. I'm extremely disappointed with myself, but definitely motivated. All are on 0% for the next 18 months at least - so hopefully can start making a little dent. The only problem, after all bills/ repayments/ normal monthly expenses such as shopping and petrol - I have approximately £90 left over. From that I want to put aside some for birthdays/ xmas/ MOT & Service/ start an emergency fund. So not a lot to play with - but hey little steps. It took me 23 years to get to this stage and I'm definitely getting it sorted in a lot lot less - I'll make sure of it.


    My interview was postponed again, so can't get going with earning extra money on that yet. Just waiting for them to come back to me.


    It feels better knowing where I stand. I can do this!!
    DIMPS
    Working towards being debt free :rotfl:June 2022
  • Dimps_123
    Dimps_123 Posts: 94
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    Although I have budgeted for shopping and petrol I'm hoping I can play the game and not spend so much each month. I've started batch cooking and refusing to buy for the sake of it. Although not properly tracking at the moment, I've already notice a difference in the weekly spend.


    Debt free - here I come ................
    DIMPS
    Working towards being debt free :rotfl:June 2022
  • Toni'sfriend
    Toni'sfriend Posts: 4,012
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    £90 left over is better than not having enough. You sound very confident and I'm sure you will get there.
    If it's any help my son moved into his own place about a week ago and I find myself wandering around wondering where he is (and that's with my OH being here). You're not alone in feeling a bit lost.
    Have adventures. laugh a lot and always be kind.
  • UncannyScot
    UncannyScot Posts: 2,070
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    Dimps_123 wrote: »
    So, I finally sat down and added up my debt. I kind of knew where it was but had forgotten about a credit card which had a fair balance on it. £35,563 in total.

    It feels better knowing where I stand. I can do this!!

    YES, YOU CAN :D
    And remember, you are NOT on your own, you have folks here that will help and support you on your journey. If you need anything, just let us know, OK?
    (((((HUGS)))))
    BUGGRITMILLENIUMHANDANDSHRIMP I TOLD EM! - Foul Ole Ron
    It is important that we know where we come from, because if you do not know where you come from, then you do not know where you are, and if you don't know where you are, then you don't know where you are going. If you don't know where you're going, you're probably going wrong.
    R.I.P. T.P.
  • Dimps_123
    Dimps_123 Posts: 94
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    Ah thanks US. Life is hard work lol

    I'm sure its been said before - if it was just the debt to deal with I'd be on it. But with everything else that life throws our way, it can get tough out there
    DIMPS
    Working towards being debt free :rotfl:June 2022
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