Sorting through my rubbish

JWPopps · 24 May 2018 at 3:16PM

Hello 321,

I've just found your diary and I have to say I am in total shock and awe about your husband!! You're doing a fab job and I can totally understand why you're confused and unsure about taking him back or making a go of it on your own. Of course I don't want to speculate on anyone's relationship but it would be so interesting to know what was going through his head wanting to get away.

I hope you're having a wonderful day,

-JW

3_kids_2_jobs_1_dog · 25 May 2018 at 4:03PM

Hi JWPopps

Thank you for your supportive words, this came out of the blue from my view point but apparently he hadn't been happy for a while, we had been through a stressful time but he hadn't thought to talk to me about it and then just blew a gasket and left! He totally regrets it now but is in a bad way mentally and quite scary at times tbh. There is no way I could even consider taking him back until he sorts that out!

I'm counting the minutes until I can leave work, not only is it a long weekend but I am off next week as DD is on half term, I need the break. I do have coursework to do but I will also be spending time in my hot tub!! I am off out with the girls tonight, cant wait, new dress at the ready!

Have a great Bank Holiday weekend all

321 xxx

JWPopps · 29 May 2018 at 10:12AM

Hope you're enjoying your break in that case!!

3_kids_2_jobs_1_dog · 4 June 2018 at 4:27PM

Hi All

JWPopps, I had a lovely break thank you, back to work today and a heap of emails to action! We were very naughty and had lots of take aways etc whilst I was off but as we were spending time with family and friends we didn't spend a lot on anything else. I ate out of the stocks at the weekend as DD was away and this week I plan to make a cottage pie, which will do 3 days and a chicken curry and pasta dish all from existing stocks.

Off to Birmingham on Friday for the night, so looking forward to that, although I also have to hand in my final submissions for my course and they're not finished yet! I will do my best to complete it this week but have zero motivation at the moment.

Ex is still trying to come back but I am quite happy as I am and enjoying my independence and increased freedom. He is trying to play the victim now but he forgets that he opened this can of worms by walking out on me so suddenly, I think he though I would crumble and beg him to come back, but I'm made of stronger stuff and haven't!

I'm having my haircut tonight, a friend does it and its £18 for both me and DD. Wednesday I am off to a local golf and spa hotel for the evening, just £20 to enjoy the facilities, towel and robe hire and drinks on arrival, I have wanted to try this spa for a while now and at that price it would have been rude not to!

Have a great evening all.

321 xxx

3_kids_2_jobs_1_dog · 7 June 2018 at 10:13AM

Hi All

Had a fabulous time at the spa last night, it was a beautiful evening so we even braved the outdoor swimming pool. Had a lovely dinner and summer cocktails and felt so relaxed after using the facilities, I slept really soundly last night. The offer is on for the rest of the month so I think we will definitely be going back!

DD ate the last of the cottage pie last night (left over from Monday)and had spagetti bolognaise on Tuesday. I will probably do a chicken curry tonight and she can make herself pasta on Friday.

I am off to Birmingham early on Friday morning and staying the night, should be fun partying on Broad Street! Will be back Saturday evening so that I can get all of my chores done on Sunday. I need a good weekend as I am on call all of next week/weekend so will be really restricted in what I can do.

Have a great weekend everyone

321 xxx

3_kids_2_jobs_1_dog · 15 June 2018 at 11:01AM

Hi All

Where has this week gone?

I had a fab time in Birmingham last weekend, really enjoyed myself, was really good only bought some of my favourite perfume as I'm nearly out and it was on offer. Finished my course although I have a last couple of bits to submit, I will finish them this weekend as I am on call so cannot go anywhere/do anything! I am also planning to get my car cleaned, tyres checked and water/oil toppped up as I am off to see a friend next weekend and its a bit of a trek, I've also bought new wiper blades and a cheap hands free kit (good reviews) which I'll try and fit!

Caught up with my chores on Sunday, managed to get away with not doing a grocery shop as we have plenty in, including bread and milk (it helps that I now spend a little bit more and buy the filtered stuff, it lasts that much longer). I'm hoping not to have to buy too much this weekend either as DD will be at her dad's for much of it.

Food wise we had mexican chicken and roast potatoes on Sunday, spag bol from the freezer on tuesday and pasties from the freezer on wednesday and thursday. Tonight DD has a friend staying so they are making themselves pasta. As I said, the weekend she is at her dad's so I will just graze on whatever is in the cupboards.

He mentioned getting divorced during the week, I'm ok with that, I dont miss him, I will miss the house but at least the next place will be all mine! Its a bit scarey moving and taking on a mortgage etc on my own but I know I can do it. The plan has been to look at putting the house on the market next spring, of course that could change. I am trying to get my finances in a better place in the meantime so that I have as little debt and as much saved as possible ready for the move.
A new chapter!

Have a great weekend

321 xxx

3_kids_2_jobs_1_dog · 19 June 2018 at 11:08AM

Hi All

Well I had a productive weekend, as well as being on call I got new tyres on my car, managed to fit the wiper blades and handsfree kit myself, checked oil and water, topped up the washer bottle and cleaned it inside and out. I also manage to finish the last two bits of coursework that I had been procrastinating over for weeks. Pretty pleased with myself. I didn't get around to cutting the lawns but I will do that this evening hopefully.

I have also been playing around with mortgage calculators and put together a proposition for my Ex which would mean I could potentially buy him out now rather than him waiting til DD leaves education to sell the house. I dont think he'll go for it but worth a try. I can just about afford it (interest only for now) and could always take in a lodger or get a part time job to make ends meet. I'm also plucking up the courage to ask for a payrise once my qualification is confirmed.

I am going away this weekend, a friend is staying with DD so I will need to stock up the fridge for them but shouldn't be too bad.

Have a good day

321 xxx

3_kids_2_jobs_1_dog · 22 June 2018 at 10:25AM

Hi All

Its a beautiful day here and wonderful weather forecast for the weekend.

I'm off to see a friend for the weekend and then a conference on Monday, bag is packed, car prepped, grass cut, fridge stocked, I think I'm ready. I've just got to make DD a Cottage Pie tonight which will last her a couple of days and do a couplke of chores in the morning and I'll be off.

Ex has read my proposition, no response though as yet, I guess at least its not a flat out NO!

Payday next week, I need to save as much as possible over the coming months so will be extra careful about food expenditure, clothes etc, mneed to stick to my budget!

Anyway have a great weekend, enjoy the weather

321 xxx

MeandO · 22 June 2018 at 10:51AM

Hello 3 kids 2 jobs 1 dog

I've just read a big chunk of your diary and wanted to say how much more relaxed your posts seem since you have been 'going it alone' and how you seem to have such a nice balance of family, friends and 'you' time.

I'm in a similar situation - I bought my ex out of our house around 4 years ago but after nearly two years I decided to move from the house I loved across the city to an older (yet bigger!) property which was much closer to work. It was £30k cheaper than the house I sold, so I paid a chunk of the mortgage and went part time to be able to do DS's school runs and spend more time with him as he was previously in after school care until 5pm. He had to move school, but he settled so well and now loves his new school.

Although this move has not come without problems and I've made sacrifices with no garage, driveway etc, our quality of life is so much more enjoyable.

The main thing is though, that this house is MINE. It has no memories of the ex in it and I am making it exactly how I want it for DS and I (budget dependant!).

I'm rambling a bit, but what I'm trying to say is that although you may end up moving and selling the house that you love, the next one will be all yours. That is a good feeling and that does help to draw a line - both for you and the ex. It did for me anyway.

Good luck with everything, I shall be subscribing to cheer you on, not that you need it! x

3_kids_2_jobs_1_dog · 26 June 2018 at 3:39PM

Hi All

Hi MeandO, thank you so much for your words of support and encouragement. It's nice to hear that my posts appear more relaxed now, loads of my friends have said how much happier I am now, but its nice to hear from someone impartial. I do feel very settled at the moment, just wish he would accept my offer to buy out the house, but hasn't given me any response yet, I am just grateful it's not a flat out NO! My DD is happy to go with the flow, she doesn't seem phased by moving as long as we stay in the same town.

Payday today and I am determined to stay on budget this month, need to pay down some debts and save, save, save! So strictly the £100 per week for everything not covered by the bills account, ie food, cleaning products, fuel, clothes etc etc etc. DD wants a girly day out on Sunday but luckily we dont need much in the way of groceries so I should be able to stretch to a Subway for lunch and a couple of little treats in Primark, anything else she will have to buy herself.

I had a lovely weekend away, thanks to two special friends who looked after DD and the dog for me. Plenty of sunshine, good food and gin, oh and lovely company. Went on to my conference yesterday and then the long drive home, I was exhausted and slept like a log last night! My car did well on the motorway, its the furthest I've been in it so was a little apprehensive but it was absolutely fine.

Foodwise, I made DD a huge cottage pie on friday evening, so she mainly lived on that over the weekend. I did fill the fridge with lots of goodies for her so we will eat those this week, quiche and salad tonight for starters. The freezer and cupboards are pretty full so hopefully I'll get away with not shopping this weekend! Maybe just a few bits for packed lunches.

Have a lovely afternoon and evening everyone

321 xxx

Sorting through my rubbish

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