Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3

Waves_and_Smiles · 18 November 2018 at 7:24PM

Thank you for the reassurance with PIP, I need it. My 50th birthday is going to be horrible. The day before I have my first cardiologists appointment at the hospital, I am dreading the waiting room with people in it. I am going to ask if I can wait in the corridor. The day after my birthday is my PIP assessment! At least it isn't my birthday itself? I am already not sleeping or eating with worry, I will be a total mess by the time it gets here at this rate. I am just grateful that it is at home, there is no way I could make it to a centre. Panic!

20aday · 18 November 2018 at 10:55PM

elsien wrote: »

Practice a loud "oi, do you want to watch where you're putting your hands before you get yourselves in trouble".
Slightly less confrontational but still shows them up.

Hopefully next time, if it happens again, I won't freeze and will remark as such.

Hindsight is a wonderful thing... :rotfl:

dekaspace · 19 November 2018 at 6:32PM

Im not sure of next steps with relative, with the most recent begging before I totally blocked his number it made me think should I confront the "girlfriend" on social media, should I contact his parents? His parents are the sort if they found out the truth about his actions would fall out with him and get him to pay the cash back, I think in many ways that was one of this tricks as he knew I didn't want to rock the boat with his parents, and im a soft touch.

Should I?

elsien · 19 November 2018 at 8:16PM

dekaspace wrote: »

Im not sure of next steps with relative, with the most recent begging before I totally blocked his number it made me think should I confront the "girlfriend" on social media, should I contact his parents? His parents are the sort if they found out the truth about his actions would fall out with him and get him to pay the cash back, I think in many ways that was one of this tricks as he knew I didn't want to rock the boat with his parents, and im a soft touch.

Should I?

Nope. No point entangling yourself even more when you're trying to cut contact. It's like closing the front door but leaving the back one open. He's an adult able to make his own choices. And if they're bad choices he gets to live with the consequences. It's not down to his parents to sort out.

calleyw · 19 November 2018 at 10:06PM

Evening All,

Hope everyone is well. Hugs and squishes and handshakes all round.

I hate where I live. Think I need to move but that will only happen if I win the lottery or a long lost relative dies and leaves me loads of money neither will happen.

I really don't like most of my neighbours. Been trying to get a parcel since saturday and they are either not there or wont answer the door. today I got back at 5pm and it was dark and as she never answer the door knew she would not if it was dark. So did not bother.

I am gradually coming to peace with some issues in my life. I believe a lot of my issues have stemmed from a person who themselves had some serious MH issues and that is why they treated me that way. Its only be a few days. And yes I am sure I will have a relapse as some stage. But feeling a lot happier at the moment.

dekaspace it sounds very childish to tell on your relative. His life let him get on with it. Sounds like children in the play ground who go I am going to tell your mum/dad on you. Do as you have been advised on here. Ignore him and get on with your life. He is a fool and being used and he must like it as he would not keep doing it.

Yours

Calley x

dekaspace · 19 November 2018 at 10:51PM

I only said it in the sense they have put up with his antics over the years and put a stop to anything that he tries to pull, so if I told them they would be angry and it would stop further contact with him, I get on with them well as they know about my disabilities and are sympathetic towards them and have in past stood up for me when people have taken advantage, so in that sense even if it wasn't their own son they would step in.

And yes I think he does enjoy being used, in the sense that hes not stupid he likes the attention and right now he gets it for free as he begs for money to pay for the attention he gets, this was the relative that before his partner died was the life of the party, the charmer who when at college had every female on the course fancying him, not his words their own words 1 of them even became a model, he had a history of dating models even being offered a modelling contract himself at one point, it was the fallout of his partners death and loss of his daughter to social work that destroyed his personality, he was single for around 10 years until this girl came along, 10 years older, divorced and that in itself is interesting, shes from another country, married a man much older than her and when she had a kid with him divorced him and let him raise her kid, sounds like she married for a green card.

The reason I thought I would tell his parents was mainly because its to show him I will not keep quiet over his harassment any more, and so others know what hes like.

Izadora · 20 November 2018 at 2:17PM

Have the radio on full blast when they arrive, that way they won't think you're turning it on to cover anything else

Pyxis · 20 November 2018 at 4:15PM

Sunny_Intervals wrote: »

:rotfl:

I guarantee that would have earned a few complaints.

It only took an hour in the end and no-one knocked. Was noisy, but only intermittently. I am shaking like a leaf and my jaw is locked from the clenching, but it's done and I'm happy with it, so at least it's over and I can put my stuff up and do some cleaning there to distract my hands from doing the silly stuff. Also turns out that a lot more of it is boarded than I thought would be, so I'm very glad I went with the smallest area.

For future reference, Sunny, it would go a long way towards appeasing any neighbour annoyance just to pop a short note through their letterboxes with brief details of what the work is, when it's due to start and when it's due to finish, and apologising for any disturbance, etc.

I always find that I don't mind noise nearly so much if I know why it's happening, and crucially, how long it might be going on for, and even more so if the "perpetrator" has been kind enough to forewarn me.

It's often the not knowing that makes people anxious, and as a result, potentially annoyed.

You don't have to speak to anyone, just pop a note through.

(Apologies if you had done that, but I thought it was worth mentioning).

Pyxis · 20 November 2018 at 4:19PM

dekaspace wrote: »

I only said it in the sense they have put up with his antics over the years and put a stop to anything that he tries to pull, so if I told them they would be angry and it would stop further contact with him, I get on with them well as they know about my disabilities and are sympathetic towards them and have in past stood up for me when people have taken advantage, so in that sense even if it wasn't their own son they would step in.

And yes I think he does enjoy being used, in the sense that hes not stupid he likes the attention and right now he gets it for free as he begs for money to pay for the attention he gets, this was the relative that before his partner died was the life of the party, the charmer who when at college had every female on the course fancying him, not his words their own words 1 of them even became a model, he had a history of dating models even being offered a modelling contract himself at one point, it was the fallout of his partners death and loss of his daughter to social work that destroyed his personality, he was single for around 10 years until this girl came along, 10 years older, divorced and that in itself is interesting, shes from another country, married a man much older than her and when she had a kid with him divorced him and let him raise her kid, sounds like she married for a green card.

The reason I thought I would tell his parents was mainly because its to show him I will not keep quiet over his harassment any more, and so others know what hes like.

Personally, I think it's a good idea to tell his parents, as you have a good relationship with them, and they know his history, and crucially, they understand about your health too.

He may be an adult, but he obviously needs things spelled out in no uncertain terms, and given how he is making you feel so unwell, Deka, if you think his parents could put a stop to it, then go for it.

He obviously has mega problems, but his problems are adding enormously to yours, so if there's a way to stop him, then yes, do it.

dandy-candy · 21 November 2018 at 2:20PM

Firstly hugs to those who need them xx

I spoke to my cousin today for the first time in 2 years. She tentatively asked if I was still not talking to my sister (I'm not) and if I ever would again. I ended up going on a rant about what a cow my sister is and how I never would. I repeated conversations I'd had with her verbatim and just poured it all out.
After I got of the phon I just thought omg I'm so not dealing with this even thought it's been 7 years and I've had tons of counselling. I have undoubtedly had some really bad hands dealt to me in the past but what stops me moving on and my mh getting better is me. I just can't let go and it's actually embarrassing how I'm still living in the past. Does anyone have any advice on how to let things go?

Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3

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