saving my future self from debt

In theory a low spend day but rather frustratingly I miscalculated the end date of the interest free loan I had for some furniture I bought for Brighton. It was due to end last month according to the contract so I was surprised to see a debit for £86 this morning. When I looked into it the loan started a month later due to a delayed delivery, so now I am £86 down on what I can save this month

Batch cooked some quorn bolognaise for DD so 3 portions to add to the freezer. I try to at least double every meal I cook for her.I really need to get my menu plans in order now that I am meant to be doing a weekly shop and also list up what meals are left in the freezer so I can allocate them over the month. Having systems in place really help my life flow without having the daily stresses of what I'm cooking for lunch and dinner, so I'm feeling a little uncomfortable with the way things are at the moment.

I've changed the way I'm recording my monthly budgeted spend - it may change again as I try and find the easiest way to record and keep a track of these spends. I would add in celebrations but this is an annual pot and i haven't calculated an accurate figure for what I've spent from January yet. Also haven't added in my Brighton Pot spend as that's ring fenced at £80/month and any underspend gets rolled over possibly for a small holiday.

Scores on the Doors:

SpentToday/Spent this Month/Monthly Budget

• £5.94/£105.97/£250 - Food
• £0.00/£2.00/£60.00 -kids
• £0.00/£17.05/£40.00 - Miscellaneous
• £0.00/£10.00/£85.00 - Petrol
• £0.00/£0.00/£20.00 - Me
• 6p/£3.80 - OP
• £1.82/£14.80 - Electricity
• £14.04 - Daily Available Spend - Up 33p

Off to spend 10 minutes in the sun before its replaced by wet and cold weather again.

PFTP x

beanielou wrote: »

Boo to the extra payment.

Thanks Beanielou - glad I've got you on my team

Busy day at work today, working part-time (very part-time) focuses the mind. I literally walk into work and don't look up again for another 8 hours until I leave (coffee making is the exception).

I got offered a bit of work via my BIL (well he would be my BIL if he were married to my SIL, who would be my SIL if I was still married to my XH ) I'm a bit of a dab hand with the old paintbrush and decorated their house for them several years ago.He's now turned his hand from accountant to handyman and he picked up some work near me. He was asked if he knew anyone who could do some decorating for him so BIL suggested me :eek: It's very sweet of him, and a bit of extra cash wouldn't go amiss but I'm hardly a professional painter and decorator. Lacking in confidence mainly, as I will happily put my hand to most things, but doing it for someone I don't know and being paid for it is causing me a bit of anxiety, plus I don't have the tools for it. Will think on that one somewhat.

The bonus of having a full day at work, aside from the free coffee and the odd biscuit is not having the time to spend any money. So today I have had my second NSD of the month :j

Yesterday I sent my XH a detailed email about the expectations I have of the fund he set up to pay the rent. It was a bit long winded but given that he'd practically forgotten what it was set up for I had to go into the details of how much the expected annual return needed to be and why I felt that the burden of covering the shortfall should not lay totally on my shoulders. I also told him that in no uncertain terms was I prepared to eat into my capital in order to pay my rent. I told him that if there was not a plan to cover the shortfall then I would have no choice but to hand my notice in at the end of this contract and move down to Brighton to care for my husband. and He would then have to take charge of DD for her last school year - which would put a spanner in the works considering he was trotting off to the States. Obviously I would NEVER do this but I'm hoping it will shock him into doing something about it. I've not heard back yet but will keep you updated of his response.

Scores on the Doors Today:

Spend Today/Spend this Monthly/Monthly Budget

• £0.00/£105.93/£250.00 - Food
• £0.00/£2.00/£60.00 -kids costs
• £0.00/£0.00/£20 - Me
• £0.00/£10.00/£85.00 - Petrol
• £0.00/£17.05/£40.00 - Miscellaneous
• £1.77/£16.57- Electricity
• £0.00/£3.80 OP
• £14.68- Up 64p -Daily Available Spend

PFTP x

beanielou wrote: »

I think you should consider the painting.
YOur BIL would not have suggested you if he did not think that you were able to do it ::

Hope you get a good response from your XH.
Positive vibes your way.

A lack of self belief has always been my problem.

I will be straight on here once I get my response from XH:)

I’ve been doing a little soul searching recently in an effort to understand why I feel the need to protect one of my spending pots , I call It my emotional spend. I have noticed it on other diaires too – that one area of spending you are not really willing to skim the fat off and will defend, to the hilt your reasons behind that spend . For me my emotional spend is on my DC, a common one I believe. For others it may be clothes, holidays abroad, the daily coffee or hobbies . No matter the level of debt I think most of us have our own emotional spend which we know logically would be much better spent reducing that debt or increasing our savings, yet we just cant seem to shift our mindset.
Ive been trawling through my celebrations budget line by line, person by person. I’m really comfortable that I have cut to the bone the amount I spend on friends and family and cut out those I no longer feel the need to buy for. Yet when I got to my kids I ‘ummed and arrhhed’ about slicing off the thinnest wafer. Personally I can go without a lot, most things in fact. As my DH says – I’m a cheap date and happy to walk round the flat with a hot water bottle tucked into my jeans to save on the heating bill. But I just cannot give up that level of spend on my kids. Don’t get me wrong I’m not overly extravagant but if I am capable of cutting my other budgets why not this one.
Before I can change this habit I need to understand why I feel the need to ring fence it. What is the emotion behind it?
• Family history: Coming from a home of divorced parents which meant going without, making do and being driven to school in such an old banger I made my mum park round the corner so no one could see me. – the sheer embarrassment for a teenage girl.
• Guilt: The DC have gone through so much pain and anguish over many years which has caused mental health issues for both of them. Spending on them as a replacement for their father.
• One Upmanship: With not much more than a card from their father for birthdays and Christmas I wanted to show them that we didn’t need him and I could provide for all those needs and wants.
• Keeping up with the Joneses: In many ways I laugh in the face of the wealth that people display in the area I live. I am the equivalent of the local hobo and proud to be that. Yet I can’t seem to extend these these beliefs to the way I spend on the children. I don’t want them to feel inadequate amongst their friends, its not a pleasant feeling, I know – Ive been there.
• Starting off on the wrong foot: Spending big when the kids are young makes it difficult to change habits and expectations when things get tough. My advice to anyone with young children – don’t spend big, don’t feel that pile of presents isn’t big enough -it never is.
• Accepting that presents get more expensive when they get older therefore the pile needs to get smaller.

I'm sure there are other reasons as to why I spend emotionally on my kids. The fear of disappointment, a way of showing love to them and seeing love from them. I'm hoping that understanding these issues will allow me to move forward and remove some of the emotion behind it all.

So this year my biggest challenge is going to be to manage my own expectations on what I have to spend on them as Im sure they wont mind.