My child is a thief

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  • pjcox2005
    pjcox2005 Posts: 1,014
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    Does he have any money of his own? Or her own? Has he been encouraged to get a part time job? Perhaps hold back on the accusations unless you are sure... When I was a child I took money because I wasn't given any fixed pocket money and it seemed easier to take than explain everytime I wanted anything. I assumed (I suspect wrongly) that my parents wouldn't know how much they had in their wallets. I grew out of it once I had my own cash

    Same here, wrong and immature at the time but grew out of it (probably when I got first job at 16) and am a perfectly law abiding, functioning citizen now. Yes, it needs to be stopped but I wouldn't blow it out of proportion which I think you're doing from the thread title.
  • My brother used to do this lot. He is now is his 30s and wouldn't ever steal from anyone.

    Not to defend- but I seem to have a better memory for being a teenager than most and maybe he felt he "needed" the money and knew if he asked you would say no. So with no other options he felt better to not ask you and take it.
    We as adults have access to so much money but children on their way to adulthood have very little. But do have a lot of pressures and difficulties.

    He most likely knows it was wrong, But personally I think it would be far worse if he was older.
    Incidentally I have memories of looking in my mums purse when I shouldn't have and just seeing coins. And memories of asking my mum for money to go out and only being given half that which I felt I "needed".
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  • System
    System Posts: 178,077
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    Does he have any money of his own? Or her own? Has he been encouraged to get a part time job?

    I can't see them getting (or retaining) a job if they are light-fingered!
  • I don't see any mention of them being given pocket money as of right?

    I presume they are still in full-time education - in which case pocket money as of right (ie not having to do anything for it) is due.

    Any money they get paid for babysitting is a separate issue altogether and is money earned for doing a job - and not money given "as of right".
  • stoozie1
    stoozie1 Posts: 656 Forumite
    30% of children in the UK receive no pocket money at all.

    Of those households who do choose to give it, it is earned through chores.

    I don't think therefore it can be seen as a de facto entitlement at all.
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  • stoozie1
    stoozie1 Posts: 656 Forumite
    In the households who do, 70% of families earn it through chores*

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  • Fireflyaway
    Fireflyaway Posts: 2,766
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    Whether he has his own money or not is irrelevant. Imagine an adult on a low wage stealing to top up their wages?! That wouldn't as an excuse in court.
    Keep your money somewhere secure. I think you can only take action if you are really certain who, if anyone stole it. If you find out then id be pretty harsh. Explain its left you feeling unable to trust them and actually its a criminal act. Ask why they took it and what it was used for. If there was a 'reason' then explore what the solution is. I always tell my child how important trust is because one day they might really need me to believe them. I don't know much about your child's condition but I know some people don't understand the emotional impact of behaviour as much as others. To him maybe its just money that he wanted / needed so he took it and that's where it ended.
  • pearl123
    pearl123 Posts: 2,049
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    Sit everyone around the table and say that someone has taken quite a large amount of money from you. Watch the body language. I don't think you will need to say more as it should be a bit if an uncomfortable experience for everybody unless they are hard skinned.
  • hunters
    hunters Posts: 827 Forumite
    Only if you stick a label on a person and assume that is all that they are.

    Yet you have labelled your child a thief? Are you going to assume that is all they are?
    :j
  • stoozie1 wrote: »
    30% of children in the UK receive no pocket money at all.

    Of those households who do choose to give it, it is earned through chores.

    I don't think therefore it can be seen as a de facto entitlement at all.

    Seriously??:eek:

    My parents were badly-off back whilst bringing me up - as my mother didnt go back to work for quite some time after having us. So I recall all sorts of stuff - like unheated bedrooms/not very healthy diet/no holidays/very few clothes. But we did have our pocket money (if not as much as I would have liked).

    I've certainly read articles about how much pocket money the average British child gets and it's very much as I would expect - ie a reasonable amount of it and it goes up with age.
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