£67,031.92 is a frightening number indeed....

JWPopps · 12 September 2017 at 11:39AM

Hi TOPM I don't comment often, but yours is one of my favourite diaries to read.

Just felt the need to comment now however to say that I thought that comment from Chappers27 was totally rude and unnecessary. I'm glad you didn't respond, it's not worth it.

EssexHebridean · 12 September 2017 at 11:57AM

Chappers27 wrote: »

Simple. You need to earn more than £250 a month. Go and get a job.

a) Rude - there is a rule on here about being polite to all moneysavers - please try to follow it.
b) if you'd read the thread you would have found that this had already been covered.
c) not your business to "tell" anyone in these terms what to do - had you put it constructively it would have been a whole different ball game.

EssexHebridean · 12 September 2017 at 12:01PM

TOPM you've made me want quiche now! :rotfl:

Busy Mee Thanks for the tip about those washing powder tablets - I might take a look at those. I can't use Ariel or Persil as I react to both, so generally stick with MrT's own brand, Surf or Bold, whichever is best value.

Amazing work on that fancy dress costume. A grasshopper indeed - love it!

Scott_Weiland_2 · 12 September 2017 at 12:24PM

Chappers27 wrote: »

Simple. You need to earn more than £250 a month. Go and get a job.

Really! Read the actual journal in full there is no need for comments like that.

mfmaybe · 12 September 2017 at 12:45PM

I'm another that shops around for household stuff. I still use Method etc but always on the look out for it at a lower price.

Re the food shop, I'm in no position to advise, really. But how about for a month or so just not having pudding/ice cream/chocolate in the house (we never ever do unless it's entertaining); and porridge for breakfast?

The_Arrowmaker · 12 September 2017 at 10:00PM

Have had to keep spending on the CC this month to keep cash flow free in my account for DDs, as all the hours of work I'm putting in are not client facing and not yet reaping their own income, so I'm still not actually bringing in much money this month. I do have a few bookings, but stressing slightly that things aren't picking up as much as I'd hoped in September. Need to pause and take stock at some stage. I know I will earn enough this month to pay off everything I've spent so far on the CC, but my concern is that I haven't yet got enough guaranteed income to get out of this new loop of spending on CC one month, paying it off again next month but needed to spend on it again.

I really sympathise with your cash flow issues. My OH is self-employed and cash flow is one of many challenges we face. But using a credit card for groceries really sets alarm bells ringing with me. You are committing future income to current spending which is not only unsustainable, but is fraught with danger if you have, for example, a client who doesn’t pay (it does happen).

to do today
1. make grasshopper costume.
2. make chicken and leek pasties.
3. buy wrapping paper and ribbon for DC1's birthday presents.
4. website work.
5. can't think beyond website work, it is all consuming! Number five can just be keep everyone alive until dinner time. We'll call that a win today.

I’m sorry as it may seem trivial but buying ribbon for a nine year old’s birthday present when you are putting your groceries on a credit card makes no sense to me at all.

You crave nice things for your children. We all do. But you don’t have some of the choices open to you that other people might have. The fact is that the money you are currently spending is not yours. You already owe a huge amount in relation to your income but even though your level of debt is there, big and bold at the top of your diary, sometimes it feels like the elephant in the room.

I think most of us here have experienced financial difficulties at some point in our lives. Many of us have had to resort to drastic measures. The Arrowmakers haven’t always had a holiday. We cut the school dinners and replaced them with food we had in the house. We took in students for a while to help us get on a firmer financial footing. We didn’t want to do any of this. It wasn’t easy or nice. But in the context of the bigger picture it was necessary and it didn’t last forever.

Your budget has experienced pressure over the summer, but there are always things that are needed: holidays, birthdays, the car. Christmas too is now looming and even for the most frugal here that presents a challenge.

Children themselves don’t get any cheaper. You may no longer have to pay for childcare but as they grow so do their needs and demands. School day trips are replaced with week long residentials. School sweatshirts become blazers. Adult shoes are needed. Branded trainers are wanted. Mobile phones, social lives. These things all cost money and whilst they may not be essential, I think these are things you will want to be able to provide for your three.

It is clear from your diary that you have come along way – but I fear not far enough. You are at a crossroads now where some really difficult decisions need to be made because something in your budget has to give.

While some of us here may feel you could make further inroads in reducing your spending, I understand that you may find it impossible to do so. In that case, and unless your income improves dramatically, I wonder if the time has come for you to consider a DMP. You clearly have the skills to deal directly with your creditors and reducing your debt repayments might enable you to put your budget on a more sustainable footing. I know the arguments against – your wish to remortgage and extend your home. If I'm honest, I think you are so far away from that being achievable that trashing your credit file for the next 6 years really isn’t going to make a great deal of difference.

TOPM, I really do feel for you. You have so much insight and you understand that the position you are in now is as a result of past decisions that you wouldn’t have made if you had that time again. I really hope as a family you are able to find a way out of this debt that works for you. That might mean taking longer to pay it off in order to have a better life now and that is a perfectly reasonable position to take, but it will impact on the choices you are able to make further down the line. The alternative is, as a previous poster once said, to really take the serious pain now.

A nicer life now, but at the expense of some of your future dreams. Or some real hardship now but with your debt free date brought forward. Only you and your family can decide which is better for you, but I think the time has come for that choice to be made.

AdventureWanted · 12 September 2017 at 10:14PM

Hi TOPM, your diary is the first one I read after my LBM last month and it has really spurred me on to get a handle on our finances. So, thank you for sharing your journey with us.

Treadingonplaymobil · 13 September 2017 at 5:19AM

Week 31: Day 4

Morning! First up, thanks for all the supportive comments yesterday, I really appreciate it.

The grasshopper costume is complete and ready to go. Took longer than expected, but still only about 2.5 hours. DC2 is brilliantly pleased with it, which is lovely - I distinctly remember slaving over a costume once for one of them to be met with an 'oh. I thought it would look different.' These days I set very clear expectations! God knows what my face paint efforts will look like.

Arrowmaker you are half right - if things don't improve we will have to consider a DMP, and I've been having the same thoughts lurking at the back of my mind. However I have got another month's grace to see how things shape up, as currently almost all of our CC spending since August can be entirely settled by DH's pay rise back pay, plus I have around £600 of work to be paid this month, which should just set us square for October's business expenses and salary. If I then don't earn in October, it will be time to have a very long hard think. Extension savings won't have happened, but that was always the 'extra' if we had the money, so I'm ok with postponing that until things are a little more under control, but yes, if we can't meet basic expenses then whether we can borrow for the extension is the least of our worries. When we started on this journey we always said 2017 was about keeping things on an even keel, and actually paying off any debt was a bonus. It's been a completely up and down journey, but we have made inroads into the debt, and I feel like we've learned a lot about our spending patterns and how I have to manage my equally up and down income levels in order to keep us on track. As long as my earnings continue to have the ups as well as the downs, I think I have learned enough to manage it, but we'll see!

I have a mini treat today - the surfing voucher I was given for my birthday last year expires in a couple of months and I want to use it before the weather turns too chilly so I'm off for a lesson today. Totally indulgent to go for a lesson while the DC are at school, but I won't get a chance on a weekend for a while and if it suddenly gets cold it will feel like a waste not to have used it. Plus 4-6 foot waves forecast today, which will be interesting! Have plenty of work to get under my belt before then though - feel like I haven't stepped away from my desk since last Friday!

Found some blackcurrants lurking at the bottom of the freezer yesterday, so that's this week's fruit to use up - need to find a pudding recipe for tomorrow (thursday is pudding and family meeting day). They are cooked, so quite runny, and a bit jam-like now I've added a little sugar. Determined to get to the bottom of the freezer and defrost it soon. I have two fruit cakes in there from last Christmas which I really hope are ok to use this year - they are really well wrapped. Good fruit cake is always so expensive to make, it will be such a waste if they taste freezer-ey.

to do today
1. make chicken and leek pasties.
2. make flapjacks and muffins for lunch boxes.
3. buy wrapping paper and ribbon for DC1's birthday presents.
4. website work.
5. surfing lesson!
6. clear some of the list of non-urgent-but-essential small jobs/emails etc that has carried over every day for the last week because I've been too busy to look at it.

to do this week
1. keep the packed lunches coming in on budget. Going surprisingly well.
2. pick up the social media again, which has fallen very much by the wayside recently, and does help increase income.
3. ebay old pram now that DC3 has stopped using it. It's got a broken part, but might get £20 for spares as it was a really expensive one originally (nine years ago! One of those 'buy better, buy once' incidents, where we researched obsessively for weeks and ended up with the perfect pram, which has survived all three DC and only broke a couple of weeks ago Good timing, as DC3 is 3.5).

to do this month
1. keep the total spend for the month below £3,500 (last month was miles better than the previous average £3,900, going to try to repeat the feat).
2. get my new website finished and launched (crosses fingers, toes and eyes).
3. just work as much as possible and make some money back to recover the enormous shortfall that faces us this month!

Busy_Mee1 · 13 September 2017 at 7:24AM

Hi TOPM - you have been getting a lot of tough love on here and it is great to see that you have accepted it in such a positive way and in the spirit that it has been given. Everyone really enjoys your diary and I would hate to see you get disheartened.

I actually think you you can tackle your debt yourself, you are bright and talented and work incredibly hard. Your light bulb is turning on ( not quite burning as brightly as it should be ) but you have made such progress over the course of your diary.

In just the last couple of weeks you have gone from not even contemplating cutting out school dinners for your son, to providing lunch much more cheaply and learning that he really hasn't suffered. You now need to have a tough and frugal few months and I think you will start to turn a corner.

The only worry is Christmas is not very far away and this could derail you completely. I think you need to start planning now for the most frugal Christmas ever seen in the TOPM household. Start by critically looking at who you buy gifts for and have a cull. Set a small budget for each of the children, they are young and just want lots of parcels, so make the Pound shop, HB and B&M your friend. There are lots of good ideas for frugal gifts across the MSE boards that should help

You probably also need to build a fund - sell things, save £1 a day in a jar, start earning vouchers by doing surveys. Do whatever you can, but with the aim of funding Christmas without using your credit card. If you can't afford it, you shouldn't be buying it !

Your grasshopper outfit sounds fab, far more creative than anything I have produced ( my kids' fancy dress costumes, all consisted of a tabard with a belt - grey tabard for a knight, green one for Robin Hood and a white one for an angel ....you get the picture !)

I hope you have a great day and enjoy the surfing :T

enthusiasticsaver · 13 September 2017 at 8:32AM

I think you are getting better at budgeting and knowing where your money goes. A dmp will not sort your family debt and will impact on mortgage and extension plans. You are still getting 0% deals and not missing payments so I don't think you would be any better off taking that route now.

Carry on monitoring spending and try for increased income for you maybe until your youngest is full time at school

£67,031.92 is a frightening number indeed....

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