The Garden Fence - proper Old Style support and chat!

That sort of bullying is against the law. I would advice you to go to CAB.

So, wallop, life has thrown another ball at me.

I was hoovering DS's room and picked up some paper on the floor. It was a receipt. For cigarettes :mad::(

My mum died a slow horrible death from copd, how can he be so #£<}!^8 stupid.

I am upset, disappointed and SO angry. We give him an allowance for food etc at uni, so we are enabling it. But I don't know what I can do.

I sent him a picture of the receipt and he said he'd stopped (the receipt is a month old) but I'm not sure I believe him...

Karcher, I would be documenting everything this low-life says and does - times, dates, remarks, etc. Polly is right, there are laws about this and if he is clever he will know it and keep his bullying till no one else is around so it is important to keep a record. If there is someone else who will vouch for you, keep them on side.
Let it be known that you are keeping records "in case of legal action." which you are prepared to take if necessary.
The longer this goes on, the weaker your mental state will be and the bolder your tormentor will get. x

VJsmum I totally get your concern but there comes a time when you have done all you can. They are adults at 18. I think that the law is crazy there, in my opinion they are still only half cooked, especially boys, but no one asked my opinion. Peer pressure is all important at that age and if their friends smoke they will be wanting to fit in. I have never smoked and my boys grew up in a non-smoking household but they both took it up at about that age. I used to ask them why they didn't just roll up a £5 note and set fire to it, but of course I didn't understand. Oh yes I did.
The trouble is they are still your children and will be until you are pushing up the daisies. My eldest will be 50 next year and I am still looking for signs of improvement.
You could try saying that if he can afford to smoke you are obviously giving him too much money, and you can think of better ways of using it than giving it to him to burn, so you will be docking him a fiver a week. Of course he will say that he has given up. They also lie very convincingly.
This is especially for you.....

THOUGHT FOR TODAY

A mother's love is unconditional. Her temper is a different matter.

Flying visit from me, I need to go and get a quote for getting my bottom blacked and then possibly childcare duties again.
Huge hugs to Karcher, I worked for years for a head that was determined to get rid of me.
Burtha, I hope you are ok.
Re weight loss, I'm sticking my fingers in my ears and humming, my diet could give Monna's a run for the money.
NM, hoping you both find what you want.

I feel for you karcher. It's awful when something happens to make us feel like we've wobbled off the coping tightrope.

NM reading between your lines you sound like this is a plan that can work, you're both happy about and the best thing is it sounds like your relationship can go from strength to strength along with the change.

I'm afraid little fuddle has had her wind knocked out of her sails a bit. The word to use is lacklustre. I think it's the tablets but I'm pretty sure it's upset and fear too. My mood is like everyone else's - tired of winter, cold, drab etc but alongside it I've lost my busy. Busy is what gets me through so I hope it comes back but as a dear friend of ours told me in PM slowly, slowly means healing and health so it might be a blessing.

My diet is all things heart healthy, low inflammatory and Omega 3ful. I'm trying to help myself but porridge is proving a spoon of gloob that has my facial features go all screwy.:cool::rotfl: