DD's accountability thread

Gemsy81 · 10 June 2018 at 10:34PM

Just subscribed to your diary, really enjoying it so far. I totally understand on the horse front, I have just sold my horse that I bred myself, for financial reasons. It was such an emotional wrench for many reasons that I won't go into, and I don't see myself ever having another one, so I have had to get all the bits and bobs onto eBay - its hard to go through them all without the additional thing of having had to have them put down

I absolutely know I made the right decision but I'm still feeling really emotional about it two weeks after he sold!

You've inspired me to wash my car, instead of visit the Polish car washers!

DD265 · 11 June 2018 at 11:17AM

Gemsy81, I'm sorry that you've had to sell your horse. Finances played a large part in my decision too, and I felt very selfish to even let myself consider finances as a reason. Of course these things are never simple and there are always many reasons for and against but in the thick of it, you just feel like there's no 'win'. What I noticed more - because I think I'd done my grieving in the run up - was that I felt lost. I had a constant feeling like I needed to be somewhere (the yard) even though my boy had been on full livery so it made no sense really. Walking past parsnips/carrots/mints in the supermarket still gets me sometimes because I got to reach for them on autopilot then remember that I don't need them any more. He's arthritis and pain free now though and that is worth a million fleeting moments of sadness.

I always figured I'd either need another horse, or that it would be too painful to be around them. In reality it's neither; I've been OK with and able to walk away. Originally I started making a plan to get back in the saddle by 2025 but as time goes on I find myself less bothered. Maybe one day and luckily I have a supportive husband even if he knows the horse would push him back down the list of priorities - most days he's somewhere above the cats but not always.

I've sold two more items on FB (together) which I need to post at lunch time, and have interest in a third. I'm hoping to get the rest of the horse-stuff listed this evening, then it's back on to wedding things.

I washed and reproofed our winter coats, so those have been drip drying over the bath, but they'll be good to store now (along with four bulky wool coats, hurrah for regaining wardrobe space!) which means I have room to wash the hem of my wedding dress. I have a few other small wedding bits to list, then I want to re-list everything on SellMyWedding (there's no 'bump' option, you have to relist to get back to the top) and duplicate those listings on FB too.

Once that's done, I have some random clothes to get gone, and a set of toys from when I was younger. I thought about keeping them in case we have a child and they turn out to be horse mad (OH would have a fit :rotfl: ), but really kids want their own toys don't they? Then I have the collection to prepare for sale at the convention in October - that feels like a rather daunting task!

I wasn't sure about FB, but I'm getting used to it and pleased with the sales so far so plan to stick with it.

DD265 · 11 June 2018 at 4:03PM

So it turns out that PayPal and PayPal Access Card are two separate things. I did not know this, and only found out because my new card arrived in my maiden name. I now have details of where to send a marriage certificate.

I still have a few others to do as well:
Skipton Building Society - they want me to go into branch but there are non locally, so I'm just on live chat asking if I can post a marriage certificate in

Costco - will need to do this in person next time I go (probably won't, to be honest, but I didn't pay for the membership at least...)

Passport - putting this off because £££ but I need it in September so can't leave it much longer

Clearscore - I'm a bit confused by this because online it says you have to register a new account! Need to look into it and get it done.

I'm also still writing thank you cards, which is bad of me I know! We did wait to get the photos back, then designed the card and had them printed so there was a delay there, but I've been putting them off. I've had to write a lot (OH's writing is difficult to read...) so I'm basically saying the same thing over and over again and that doesn't feel like 'enough', but it's the nature of the beast. I am forcing myself to finish them tonight. I will hand deliver some but post the majority so I need to go out for stamps, but I have another Facebook sale so can send that at the same time.

Once both of those tasks are done - and the wedding sales are listed - I guess that's the wedding well and truly over. Or maybe the honeymoon in September counts? I'm not sure but I'm not sure whether I want to drag it out any longer either :rotfl:

DD265 · 12 June 2018 at 9:22PM

Today has been fairly productive! Before work I took my car into the garage and had replacement boot struts fitted - when I opened the boot it was getting stuck halfway and I've banged my head on more than one occasion. I'd already paid for a cheaper pair which were naff, so a little extra to pay but he's going to add it on to my next bill.

At lunch time I went to the post office and sent a FB sale, returned some shoes (having accepted that I like trainers or high heels and nothing in between, I will give up looking for flats/low heels for work!) plus a couple of name change letters and bought the second class stamps I need for these thank you cards.

This evening I've been out to pick up some curtains I bought on FB. We already had curtains in our bedroom from IKEA but they are too long (and never got around to having them shortened) but also they only overlap by an inch. Plus we had blackout linings on the supposedly blackout curtains and I always worried about the weight. Now we have curtains that pool slightly on the floor by a few cm, and very comfortably overlap. I don't think we need to add blackout linings so that's a lot of bulk saved. I am chuffed to bits with them for £10 and they are brand new!

I want to sew some velcro on the sides - we have some on the wall already but the curtain side is no longer adhesive - to stop light at the sides so that's probably a job for the weekend. There's also a gap in the middle (may just need the creases to drop out) which I can probably address with magnetic strips. Lastly there's the light getting in the top which we've always struggled with. I am considering making a pelmet box but because we rent I'm a bit wary of doing anything 'permanent' although the landlord is very laid back. I guess the alternative is a swag, I'm just not sure how well it'd work. Will have a think!

beanielou · 12 June 2018 at 9:28PM

Great bargains for the curtains!

Gemsy81 · 12 June 2018 at 9:51PM

DD265 wrote: »

Gemsy81, I'm sorry that you've had to sell your horse. Finances played a large part in my decision too, and I felt very selfish to even let myself consider finances as a reason. Of course these things are never simple and there are always many reasons for and against but in the thick of it, you just feel like there's no 'win'. What I noticed more - because I think I'd done my grieving in the run up - was that I felt lost. I had a constant feeling like I needed to be somewhere (the yard) even though my boy had been on full livery so it made no sense really. Walking past parsnips/carrots/mints in the supermarket still gets me sometimes because I got to reach for them on autopilot then remember that I don't need them any more. He's arthritis and pain free now though and that is worth a million fleeting moments of sadness.

I always figured I'd either need another horse, or that it would be too painful to be around them. In reality it's neither; I've been OK with and able to walk away. Originally I started making a plan to get back in the saddle by 2025 but as time goes on I find myself less bothered. Maybe one day and luckily I have a supportive husband even if he knows the horse would push him back down the list of priorities - most days he's somewhere above the cats but not always.

I've sold two more items on FB (together) which I need to post at lunch time, and have interest in a third. I'm hoping to get the rest of the horse-stuff listed this evening, then it's back on to wedding things.

I washed and reproofed our winter coats, so those have been drip drying over the bath, but they'll be good to store now (along with four bulky wool coats, hurrah for regaining wardrobe space!) which means I have room to wash the hem of my wedding dress. I have a few other small wedding bits to list, then I want to re-list everything on SellMyWedding (there's no 'bump' option, you have to relist to get back to the top) and duplicate those listings on FB too.

Once that's done, I have some random clothes to get gone, and a set of toys from when I was younger. I thought about keeping them in case we have a child and they turn out to be horse mad (OH would have a fit :rotfl: ), but really kids want their own toys don't they? Then I have the collection to prepare for sale at the convention in October - that feels like a rather daunting task!

I wasn't sure about FB, but I'm getting used to it and pleased with the sales so far so plan to stick with it.

I agonised over it for probably over a year. He was in training with a professional and the cost of that was a significant factor in my decision. I started to feel that I was being very selfish indulging my hobby instead of thinking of my family. Which I think is probably the case with all 'expensive' hobbies, and even horses on a shoestring aren't cheap! The day I knew I had made the right decision was the day he got vetted, and I felt nervous in case he failed...then I knew I 'wanted' to sell him. I was so emotionally attached to him, as I had his mother put down last year (who I had owned for 20 years) and he was my last link to her. But sometimes you just have to be practical sadly.

I'm also trying to sell a wedding dress so let me know if you have any success with any particular sites!

DD265 · 17 June 2018 at 7:13PM

I got a lot more horsey things listed this week, but I don't think there were any sales since I last posted. I started listing my riding wear, and literally as I was going got a message offering me the opportunity to ride! So I've marked the riding wear as sold for now whilst seeing what the offer is and whether it'll suit me, the owner and the ponies. I don't normally believe in a higher power, but timing or what.

Annoyingly my mind instantly goes to what I would want to buy if I were going to ride again. It's sensible stuff; hi viz, a body protector and a helmet cam. If it goes ahead I'll look for second hand, though you have to be careful with body protectors because a bit like helmets/car seats, they can deteriorate over time or after an impact.

In other news I have an unexpected expense coming up; new glasses. I have a £180 limit on the healthcare cashplan (so glad I upgraded otherwise it'd be £55, and my eye test was £25!) so I at least have that available to me. The glasses will cost me £92 including free basic lenses with an anti-reflection coating I need; the same frames & more advanced lenses at Boots were coming in at £260. I've also been advised to get some polarized sunglasses but I can do those at a later time. I know I could've gone cheaper but I'm seriously struggling to find some I like in-store and online feels like such a minefield.

beanielou · 17 June 2018 at 7:16PM

I need new glasses too

DD265 · 17 June 2018 at 7:24PM

beanielou wrote: »

I need new glasses too

It's over 10 years since I shopped for anything other than non-prescription sunglasses, and I hate it. Not only are they often very expensive on the high street, much like clothing trends what appears to be fashionable right now isn't what I like/doesn't suit me.

Looking online it's hard to work out what's what, and I have spent a lot of time looking at Glasses Direct for example but the price wouldn't be far off the £92 because I don't like the cheapest options. I do have the option to get two existing pairs re-glazed which would cost about £35 each from InternetSpecs. But the cashplan can't be used towards anything else so part of me figures I might as well spend it now (renews in November) and save re-glazing as a backup plan down the line.

I just need to find out what my pupillary distance is then I can order them.

You have my sympathies!

Gemsy81 · 17 June 2018 at 10:15PM

You've just reminded me the whole family needs to be booked in for eye tests.....another thing for the budget!

DD's accountability thread

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