Care Home fees.

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  • Thanks Rambosmum.

    It's nice to see somebody speaking with authority, instead of having to put up with what verges on trolling from some forum members. MIL does have a social worker, we will talk to her. I just wanted a bit of background info before speaking to her.
  • Rambosmum
    Rambosmum Posts: 2,445
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    Whether the support can be changed from carers to a PA (i.e. reduce the amount paid for the carers support and transfer this to your wife) will be dependent on the particular scheme your MIL is in - the social worker should know this.


    But even if this can't be changed there is nothing stopping your MIL or her POA from buying additional support on top of that already provided as a private arrangement if this is in MIL 'Best Interest' (if she is unable to make the decision herself and POA is for health and welfare as well as finances).
  • Comms69
    Comms69 Posts: 14,229
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    Thanks Rambosmum.

    It's nice to see somebody speaking with authority, instead of having to put up with what verges on trolling from some forum members. MIL does have a social worker, we will talk to her. I just wanted a bit of background info before speaking to her.
    Trolling? Oh please.


    It's a public forum.


    Want someone who just agrees with you, go and pay them for it.
  • Comms69
    Comms69 Posts: 14,229
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    Sorry no, it’s not ‘nice work’. I’m sure the daughter would prefer her mum was well and didn’t need any care.
    Im sure she would, but unless she's discovered the secret to eternal youth, cure for dementia; or a time machine - this is the situation.






    Charging £12.50 an hour to care for your own mum - well it just leaves a bad taste in the mouth.
  • Rambosmum
    Rambosmum Posts: 2,445
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    Comms69 wrote: »
    Im sure she would, but unless she's discovered the secret to eternal youth, cure for dementia; or a time machine - this is the situation.






    Charging £12.50 an hour to care for your own mum - well it just leaves a bad taste in the mouth.



    It might, but due to rising housing costs, living longer and people having to work longer, unfortunately not everyone can afford to give up work to care for an elderly relative, as much as they want to.
  • lisyloo
    lisyloo Posts: 29,583
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    I can see it from both sides.


    I can see it from the point of view that parents brought you up in their time at their cost and that should be returned. Not because it's a fair swap but because it should be unconditional.

    However the practical side is that women often have to work these days and not everyone is retired when their parents need care (my MIL is 90 and DH is 52 ith state pension age of 67, so 15 years off according to the state).

    Women are expected to work until 67 or more and pension ages have been equalised with men. If the state wants women to work then it can't expect them to be available for free care at the same time.
    If the elderly person has money and the younger person needs it, then from a practical point of view it makes perfect sense. In many cases it will be coming off their inheritance !
  • Comms69
    Comms69 Posts: 14,229
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    Rambosmum wrote: »
    It might, but due to rising housing costs, living longer and people having to work longer, unfortunately not everyone can afford to give up work to care for an elderly relative, as much as they want to.
    I agree with you, but if the mother has the money spare, use it to pay for a private carer; at a lower cost than that.


    £6000 a year can pay for a lot of care.


    It's not even value for money for the mum
  • Comms69
    Comms69 Posts: 14,229
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    lisyloo wrote: »
    I can see it from both sides.


    I can see it from the point of view that parents brought you up in their time at their cost and that should be returned. Not because it's a fair swap but because it should be unconditional.

    However the practical side is that women often have to work these days and not everyone is retired when their parents need care (my MIL is 90 and DH is 52 ith state pension age of 67, so 15 years off according to the state).

    Women are expected to work until 67 or more and pension ages have been equalised with men. If the state wants women to work then it can't expect them to be available for free care at the same time.
    If the elderly person has money and the younger person needs it, then from a practical point of view it makes perfect sense. In many cases it will be coming off their inheritance !
    What's the state got to do with it?


    The state does not expect it, the state already provides a service.


    No-one is forcing anyone to work
  • GlasweJen
    GlasweJen Posts: 7,451
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    Rambosmum wrote: »
    How is care currently organised? If there a care coordinator or social worker?


    it is possible for your wife to take on some of the caring role as a paid PA - she would be an employee and your mother an employer (or your sister in law with POA). Your wife could not be both employee and employer.


    If there was a care coordinator or social worker you could ask them to draw this up formally - it's something we do fairly regularly. We accept and understand that family cannot always provide free care for family members depending on other commitments they have. How much they will allow your mother to pay will be dependent on their PA rates (not the care agency rate).


    To prevent accusations of fraud you would be best drawing this up formally - your wife having a contract which sets out her working hours, her pay and her job and make sure that your MIL or SIL are appropriately insured and paying relevant tax, NI and pensions contributions as required - there are specialist companies which charge a minimal fee to support with this, they also do pay role too so takes some of the stress away.


    Whether this is permissible in the scheme your MIL lives in is dependent on how it is set up.


    There is absolutely nothing to stop your MIL or her POA from setting up a private care arrangement.
    The problem is the OP is the POA and wants to pay herself way above market rates without any of the appropriate experience or training. If she was a qualified nurse coming out of nursing to provide palliative care then fair dos but she wants £12.50 an hour to do a bit of cleaning - it's entirely unrealistic! I wonder what her sister has to say about it. As the other POA she'd have to sign off on this scheme.
  • Rambosmum
    Rambosmum Posts: 2,445
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    Comms69 wrote: »
    I agree with you, but if the mother has the money spare, use it to pay for a private carer; at a lower cost than that.


    £6000 a year can pay for a lot of care.


    It's not even value for money for the mum



    I do not know where you live but where I work the cheapest care agency is £14.40 per hour and the rate for a PA is £11.95, and it's a cheap area.


    There is also the risk with a PA of covering sickness and holiday, which family would most likely have to organise. If they used a care agency, due to the MIL being in sheltered accommodation there may be a restriction on having a secondary agency present and so a PA is the only way to go.
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