Boots Sale

Figgi wrote: »

How do you know? Or are you asking?

Figgi wrote: »

Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 1,091
Whats this?
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For those of you new to this heres what happens, by law, every single year:

1. By day of sale in Jan this thread will be up to approx 157 pages.
2. Every other post is a newbie asking which Wed the sale starts on.
3. Loads of people swear blind that last year it started a week earlier than it
actually did.
4. Each Tuesday's posts contain details of someone's sister's neighbour's friend's
boyfriend's Mum, who knows someone who works in a Boots store, who swears
blind its DEFINITELY starting that Wednesday.
5. A few hardcore MSE'ers stay up til 3am on the website just incase it does start.
6. Wed morning: sale doesn't start. A few individuals who didn't know are still
sitting outside their local branch refusing to believe it in the vain hope the staff are
still "putting the signs up".
7. There's always ONE store who c0cks up and accidentally DOES start a week early. And the tills don't knock the discount off but the enthusiastic SA's overrides the til to give the discount, until the manager re-reads his fax from head office. So one lucky
forumite always gets lucky by accident.
8. The Tuesday evening before it DOES start theres always at least one grumpy git
store manager who swears blind they "won't be having a 75% sale at all as they
haven't sold enough at 50%". And he's been told this on a fax from head office, so
he knows for definite. Honest guv.
9. Someone's dog's sister's collegue's friend's Mum overhears 2 SA's chatting
about the need to put the signs up that evening after the store is closed. She asks
SA1 who gives her an icy stare and denies all knowledge. SA2 later sidles up to her
in the shampoo isle and gives her a knowing wink and a whisper of "Are you a
friend of Martin? Don't let on I told you but it IS tomorrow".
10. Boots stores are full of MSE'ers casing the joint, sizing up whats left and
deciding on their route round the isles/plan of attack for the morning.
11. The lovely MSE'er whos flat overlooks a Boots store does a reccy in her pyjamas around midnight to double check the signs are up.
12. Half of us stay up to buy online. About 2am Boots put up "the holding screen"
which is a picture of Skeletor with a bad fake tan, and giant white teeth, in a ski
hat. Everyone gets excited. Website crashes completely.
13. 4am Site back online, complete with Mr FakeTanTeeth. Those who are able (and still awake) fill their baskets ready for when 75% discounts kick in. Website crashes, holding screen back up.
14. 6am. Website back, discount applied, sales goes live but all baskets back to
being empty. People start frantically refilling baskets.
15. 6.01am. Website crashes.
16. 7am Queues start forming outside Boots stores. Always a fat chav in leggings
accompanied by 2 shopping trollies who is first in the queue. She wants everything
"for the kiddies charity party next year, you cant say no at such a good price".
Translate this as "it'll be going on ebay or at the boot sale".
17. 8/9am stores open. As doors unlock staff look a bit disgusted that people have
been desperate enough to queue. Stampede into store. Everyone gets seriously
pee'd off with the ignoramous with the trolley who is sweeping entire shelves of
goodies off in one fell swoop, having blocked off the isle at both ends.
18.Think all female rubgy scrum.
19. Bemused husbands/dads stood at ends of isles to recieve full baskets/trollies/
bags and act as guardian while wife goes back for more.
20. Small child crushed under weight of Gok sets placed ontop of pram while
Mother scrabbles under shelving for dropped advantage card.
21. Innocent passing elderly couple who just called in for some fibogel get caught
up crush but too overcome with amazement of discount to complain.
22. 9.30am Queues at tils bigger than the 8am queues outside. People staggering
out of stores laden down with bags, like a heat of Worlds Strongest Man.
23. 10am. Boots run out of carrier bags.
24. 11am. Website back up but everything sold out.
25. 1pm. Stores everywhere sold out. Shelves empty like desecration after a swarm
of locusts has decended, bar some Yardley gift sets and half the contents of a Fern hatbox.
26. A lucky MSE'er who forgot all about it just happens to wander past a local Boots store on her way back to work from the a dentist's appointment. The 75% sale is on, but they have stumbled upon the only Boots in the country that no-one else has been to. Rows and rows of No7 gift sets and plenty of Joules bags left. No pushing, no shoving, the whole Boots store to herself, with SA's kindly holding her bags for her.
27. Thats it. Done and dusted. All over for another year!"