Don't we just love the drama!
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Of course the grown up thing would have been to greet the ex , and said hello how are you ? , lets have a cup of tea and discuss how we can best help the son
But then that would have been an awful waste of exclaimation marksVuja De - the feeling you'll be here later0 -
Why would there be no obligation for the ex to be involved ? after its her son too
She doesn't need to be involved in clearing out his room - especially not when it was made clear that she was not welcome at the house.
She does need to be involved with him as a mother, but that can be done from a distance - she does not need to be in the house for that.0 -
Of course the grown up thing would have been to greet the ex , and said hello how are you ? , lets have a cup of tea and discuss how we can best help the son
But then that would have been an awful waste of exclaimation marks
There are obviously reasons as to why she isn't allowed to the house. There might be very good reasons for it, or it could be something ridiculous.0 -
LemonSocks wrote: »Putting the partner aside for a second, it is pretty sad that the son is clearly not wanted by either mother or father (for whatever reasons).
Perhaps the constant negative perception the parent's are projecting onto him isn't particularly motivating him to look for work. I do get the impression that neither parent speaks to him with respect or tries to help and develop him.
And he is still a child. Kick him out by all means when he hits 18, but for now both parent's should take some responsibility.
At 17, he is old enough to disrespect his stepmother and call her names and push her around - not the actions of a child.
The parents have obviously not done a great job here - and now it is time that this young man learned responsibility and also learned that actions bring consequences. A hard lesson to learn, but it is a lesson he has to learn.0 -
The first time she entered your partners Son let her in.0
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When I was a 'child' aged 17, I was working full time, helping to cook for the family - my Mum & Dad who both worked and my 2 younger siblings - and was saving for a mortgage.LemonSocks wrote: »And he is still a child. Kick him out by all means when he hits 18, but for now both parent's should take some responsibility.
What gives 'children' of the same age nowadays the belief that they are entitled to do !!!!!! all in their parents' home?0 -
At 17, he is old enough to disrespect his stepmother and call her names and push her around - not the actions of a child.
The parents have obviously not done a great job here - and now it is time that this young man learned responsibility and also learned that actions bring consequences. A hard lesson to learn, but it is a lesson he has to learn.
Certainly old enough to acquire himself a criminal record for assault.
Change the locks and let him get on with the life of a NED. And if he or his maternal relatives ever turn up and so much as approach the front door uninvited, shut the door, lock it, put the catch on and call the police. At best, they'll skulk off, at worst, they'll be bouncing off the front door and swearing profusely as the patrol car comes round the corner.
Offspring #1's father may well have been a complete wally in many, many ways, but when she moved into his at 17, he stood at the doorway and asked if it was OK for him to come in to help carry things (and his OH was discreetly sat waiting in their car 100yds down the road).I could dream to wide extremes, I could do or die: I could yawn and be withdrawn and watch the world go by.Yup you are officially Rock n Roll
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When I was a 'child' aged 17, I was working full time, helping to cook for the family - my Mum & Dad who both worked and my 2 younger siblings - and was saving for a mortgage.
What gives 'children' of the same age nowadays the belief that they are entitled to do !!!!!! all in their parents' home?
On the flip side, when I was 17 I worked part time and attended college for A Levels. After a bitter divorce between parents, my mum left town and I stayed with my dad to help look after younger siblings. Despite that, I couldn't meet my dad's wanted rent (double my wages) so he kicked me out.
Different experiences leave people having different beliefs on what should be defined as parental responsibilities. I have at no point disagreed that the son should be looking for work/ being more respectful. But I also understand how demoralising it can feel not being wanted or cared for by parents, and it wouldn't surprise me if some children end up acting up because of it.Best 2021 wins: 48 bottles of cider, £200 John Lewis Vouchers, £100 Currys vouchers0 -
Red-Squirrel wrote: »But that means that children never have a home until they grow up and move out!
Correct. I got my own home when I left my parents house.0 -
Sorry but to me it sounds like bad behaviour all round with tempers and egos firmly in the way (although I accept we don't know the history which led to the banning of a woman you never met and her need for 'bouncers')
Noone should have been abusive
Noone should have been pushing and shoving
And son's behaviour is appalling.
BUT your partner's son let them in, your partner's son abused you and your partner seems to have 'hidden' behind you or in the garden when all the aggro started.
Seems like he should be the one stepping forward once any dust has settled to sort this out with lock changing meantime a sensible idea.
Have a think or a wait before escalating - long term aim has to be to get son on a better path rather than settle a grievance with the ex.0
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