Being charged double the dig money since boyfriend moved in

unholyangel · 18 June 2019 at 2:00PM

Candyapple wrote: »

If all the bills are split equally, why are you the only paying the £44 for Sky, especially since you said that you would get rid if it were up to you?

What is her reasoning for not allowing you both to buy your own food?

I don't think it matters what her reasoning is tbh, when its her house. If you stay in someone elses house then you have to abide by their rules/way of doing things.

If you want to do things your own way, then you're always free to get your own place. Which is exactly what I did at a young age, only to have my own eyes opened.

frugalmacdugal · 18 June 2019 at 2:23PM

Hi,

do you have separate rooms, hence the extra charge?

Jox · 18 June 2019 at 2:53PM

I think I read it's a 2 bed property so I guess they don't have their own rooms.

frugalmacdugal · 18 June 2019 at 2:57PM

Hi,

thought maybe the godmother didn't allow her god-daughter to be naughty under her roof.

TBagpuss · 18 June 2019 at 3:20PM

I don't think it matters much how she categorises it, whether it's called rent or something else.

You and your b/f are each paying £250 per month for accommodation and bills.

That's very cheap even if you aren't getting any groceries , and it sounds as though your godmother is paying for at least some of those.

For context, around 10 years ago, I had a friend move in with me as a lodger. She paid £280 a month which included bills but not food.

How much would it cost you to rent a 1 bed flat to share? My guess is that it would be considerably more than £500 a month once you added in bills and food.

You are no worse off than you were before your boyfrined moved in, and unless he was renting somewhere for less than £250 all in, he is better off than he was before.

I think arguing over the amounts is going to come across as very entitled and greedy, bearing in mind that you are both adults, and your godmother has absolutely no obligation to you at all.

If you feel it is unfair, then the answer would be to lok for a house-share or lodger arrangmetns elsewhere, but I would be surprised if you can find anything cheaper!

oystercatcher · 18 June 2019 at 4:00PM

You come across as very selfish and entiitled. You were quite happy with the deal before your boyfriend lived there. Why should he pay any less ? You say you are 'as good as family' to Godmother, but he isn't, much as you love him, I don't suppose she does, he is a hulking great bloke , a stranger moving into her home because of you ! taking up space, making mess, using utilities, maybe hogging the TV from time to time? Although she says the money is for food and utilities it isn't it's also hassle money, he's there because she wants to make you happy. She is out numbered, crowded in a small flat having to share kitchen and bathroom even more, this isn't fun for her!

You say you eat your own food sometimes and other food is wasted, G'mum has paid for this food and planned to feed you so you should be paying towards this food even if it was wasted. She is expecting to have to feed you all and will plan around this it's the way her generation think, she will want to have food in for you both so it's polite and kind to eat it rather than turning your noses up at it getting your own food and then not expecting to pay for what was already bought.

Another vote that it's time to get your own place and leave Godmother to some peace and quiet !

jackieblack · 18 June 2019 at 4:28PM

Humdinger1 wrote: »

her kindness firstly to you and then to your boyfriend doesn't give you the right to dictate how she manages her finances. No one can live for nothing as an adult, whatever terminology is used of rent vs bills.

I agree with this ^^^^^

combeferret wrote: »

she just won't divulge the actual cost to me frustratingly.

Maybe because it’s none of your business!

I’m in the ‘you’ve been onto a good thing for a long time and now trying to take the mickey’ camp.
Her home, her terms. If you don’t like it... try the real world.

To be frank, in your godmother’s position I’d be encouraging you both to find your own place - being outnumbered in your own home is not fun.

FBaby · 18 June 2019 at 4:49PM

Does she [ay a mortgage? Assuming she does, all the bills associated with the house probably come to more than £750 a month.

Most likely, she was happy for you to pay a much lower amount that half of all the bills because she loves you and wanted to help you. She doesn't have the same affection for your boyfriend, hence charging him the same despite the economy of scale. It would be quite fair.

If she has already paid her mortgage, it could be questionable whether all the bills comes to £750, although likely to with food included.

onwards&upwards · 18 June 2019 at 5:08PM

Time to move out.

She’ll probably be relieved, most people who took in a teenage godchild would probably not expect them to still be there 7 years later plus a boyfriend!

Don’t say you’re moving out because she’s charging too much, say it’s because you’re adults now and it’s time to strike out independently. Thank her and invite to visit your new place and cook her a lovely meal.

unforeseen · 18 June 2019 at 5:48PM

£250 per month with food?

I'd bite her hand off to pay that and not whinge. 12 years ago I was paying £80 per week as a lodger and that didn't include food.

You are getting off lightly. I suggest you set up your own home with your boyfriend and get a taste of real life.

Being charged double the dig money since boyfriend moved in

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