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    • choille
    • By choille 9th Feb 19, 9:44 PM
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    choille
    Hospital Appointment Transport
    • #1
    • 9th Feb 19, 9:44 PM
    Hospital Appointment Transport 9th Feb 19 at 9:44 PM
    My elderly ex neighbour is now in a (very expensive to my mind) care home.

    I visit her on average once a week. It's quite a distance away but she has no relatives within travelling distance.

    It seems she has some hospital appointments coming up and the under manager of the home tried to get me to agree to taking her there. I don't drive but my OH does. It would mean us leaving before 6 am to go and pick her up and take her there - all in all a distance of roughly 200 miles return. It will be quite a long day. This time of year the roads can be icy here & over run with deer. I just don't think we can do it.

    Now, she is paying approx 1,000 a week. The care home is now run by the NHS. I would have thought that they should really provide her with transportation there and back. I felt quite mean saying that we couldn't do it but we really can't with all our other commitments.

    Does anyone know if this sounds reasonable as I feel quite bad about this. The pressure was put on in front of the elderly lady and she seemed to feel like a nuisance now. I do feel guilty but I think I should have been summoned into an office or somewhere private to be asked this and not in a public area where others were present - am I being silly? Petty?
Page 1
    • Kim kim
    • By Kim kim 9th Feb 19, 9:49 PM
    • 2,477 Posts
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    Kim kim
    • #2
    • 9th Feb 19, 9:49 PM
    • #2
    • 9th Feb 19, 9:49 PM
    The pressure was put on in front of the elderly lady and she seemed to feel like a nuisance now. I do feel guilty but I think I should have been summoned into an office or somewhere private to be asked this and not in a public area where others were present - am I being silly? Petty?
    Originally posted by choille
    I think you should make a formal complaint. It might mean they review it their privacy procedures.
    • Loanranger
    • By Loanranger 9th Feb 19, 9:54 PM
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    Loanranger
    • #3
    • 9th Feb 19, 9:54 PM
    • #3
    • 9th Feb 19, 9:54 PM
    Surely a care home has this problem of transporting residents to hospital appointments on a fairly regular basis. Your reply should have been to politely decline and ask them to instigate their usual procedure which may be to contact the patient transport people at the hospital and make the arrangements directly with them.
    • choille
    • By choille 9th Feb 19, 10:05 PM
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    choille
    • #4
    • 9th Feb 19, 10:05 PM
    • #4
    • 9th Feb 19, 10:05 PM
    Surely a care home has this problem of transporting residents to hospital appointments on a fairly regular basis. Your reply should have been to politely decline and ask them to instigate their usual procedure which may be to contact the patient transport people at the hospital and make the arrangements directly with them.
    Originally posted by Loanranger
    I was completely put on the spot. It was done in front of the elderly lady & other residents in the lounge area.

    I did tell her I couldn't drive but she pressed on asking me if i didn't know someone kind who would take her. I did say I doubted that we could as it was too early an appointment. I felt mean but also the elderly lady felt as if she was a nuisance. I was taken aback by all of this.
    • GlasweJen
    • By GlasweJen 9th Feb 19, 10:08 PM
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    GlasweJen
    • #5
    • 9th Feb 19, 10:08 PM
    • #5
    • 9th Feb 19, 10:08 PM
    I work in an outpatient clinic and we get a lot of carehome residents in. The homes usually send the resident and a care assistant if family aren't available. They can either book a hospital transport ambulance but this involves a lot of waiting about so they're one member of staff down for every resident away at an appointment that day. The posher homes or giant council homes have their own ambulance style bus or if it's not economical they'll send the patient and care assistant in a taxi.
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    • choille
    • By choille 9th Feb 19, 10:17 PM
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    choille
    • #6
    • 9th Feb 19, 10:17 PM
    • #6
    • 9th Feb 19, 10:17 PM
    The woman said she'd just have to get one of the 'girls' to take her in their car. Meaning a care assistant using her own car. I think it's quite short staffed and it isn't big so they don't have a minibus, but I think costs are being squeezed at the moment.
    • Mojisola
    • By Mojisola 9th Feb 19, 10:18 PM
    • 30,383 Posts
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    Mojisola
    • #7
    • 9th Feb 19, 10:18 PM
    • #7
    • 9th Feb 19, 10:18 PM
    I was completely put on the spot. It was done in front of the elderly lady & other residents in the lounge area.

    I did tell her I couldn't drive but she pressed on asking me if i didn't know someone kind who would take her. I did say I doubted that we could as it was too early an appointment. I felt mean but also the elderly lady felt as if she was a nuisance. I was taken aback by all of this.
    Originally posted by choille
    This was unacceptable - and very unfair on both you and their resident.

    I can understand the pressure on a manager to keep costs down by getting family or friends to undertake the tasks that take a carer away from the home but this wasn't the place to have the conversation.
    • Robisere
    • By Robisere 9th Feb 19, 10:31 PM
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    Robisere
    • #8
    • 9th Feb 19, 10:31 PM
    • #8
    • 9th Feb 19, 10:31 PM
    In my area we have a Voluntary hospital transport scheme, drivers who volunteer to take people to appointments, whether or not accompanied by a carer. It may be worth Googling something like that in your area.

    On the other hand, the Care home should be responsible for this.
    I think this job really needs
    a much bigger hammer.
    • choille
    • By choille 9th Feb 19, 10:35 PM
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    choille
    • #9
    • 9th Feb 19, 10:35 PM
    • #9
    • 9th Feb 19, 10:35 PM
    Thanks all for your thoughts on this. I was mulling it all day & feel quite vexed about it.

    I will contact the hospital on Monday and see what they say.
    • Flugelhorn
    • By Flugelhorn 9th Feb 19, 10:44 PM
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    Flugelhorn
    I find that care homes can be a bit oblivious to where visitors / relatives live - they can't understand why someone won't drop everything and drive 60 miles to take someone at short notice to hospital etc.

    The usual problem is that they are short of carers to go with them.

    The local volunteer car service or a taxi is usually best option.
    • Savvy_Sue
    • By Savvy_Sue 10th Feb 19, 1:35 AM
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    Savvy_Sue
    Does anyone know if this sounds reasonable as I feel quite bad about this. The pressure was put on in front of the elderly lady and she seemed to feel like a nuisance now. I do feel guilty but I think I should have been summoned into an office or somewhere private to be asked this and not in a public area where others were present - am I being silly? Petty?
    Originally posted by choille
    No, this does NOT sound reasonable. No, you are not being silly or petty.

    I'm sorry your friend was made to feel like a nuisance, but personally I would contact the care home and say that you found their behaviour insensitive and a breach of confidentiality. You are a former neighbour, not a family member, and while you are happy to continue visiting AS A FRIEND you cannot take responsibility for any of your neighbour's appointments.

    Thanks all for your thoughts on this. I was mulling it all day & feel quite vexed about it.
    Originally posted by choille
    I feel vexed on your behalf!

    I will contact the hospital on Monday and see what they say.
    Originally posted by choille
    I'm not sure there's much point in you doing this. The hospital can only speak to you in general terms, and it's the responsibility of the care home to make these arrangements. Even if the hospital says that X or Y could be arranged, you run the risk of involving yourself too much: if the care home think you are willing to make calls and arrange things then they'll probably be only too happy to let you. Next thing you know, you'll be expected to take her to the dentist, chiropodist, optician and hairdresser ...
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    • 74jax
    • By 74jax 10th Feb 19, 8:13 AM
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    74jax
    I didn't take my dad to his appointments and he was only 1.5hrs away. And I drive.

    It depends why you feel guilty, would you feel better if you just did it, or if you didn't would it make you poorly with guilt? I'm not sure why you feel guilty though.

    I think it's fine for them to ask, and equally fine for you to say no.

    If you are feeling pressured, I'd be assertive, say no sorry I'm not willing too, I have already said. And keep repeating if asked again.

    I would NOT contact the hospital. That is for the care home to do. Do not get involved other than visiting your friend.
    Last edited by 74jax; 10-02-2019 at 8:16 AM.
    Forty and fabulous, well that's what my cards say....
    • -taff
    • By -taff 10th Feb 19, 9:27 AM
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    -taff
    They might have asked you because they thought you wanted to do more if you are her only visitor and she lives quite a way away from you.
    A 1000 a week doesn't sound like a very expensive care home.
    • FBaby
    • By FBaby 10th Feb 19, 9:29 AM
    • 17,103 Posts
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    FBaby
    You can of course refuse, it is your right but as explained, a staff member would otherwise go with her and that means having another staff doing an extra shift if one member is out. Care homes have significant staffing issues is some areas so any help they can get will help.

    Your friend is likely not entitled to nhs patient transport so would have to go in a staff car or pay for a taxi. So no, you're not wrong saying no when she's not even a relative, but it is reasonable that the home will ask if they are understaffed.
    • paddy's mum
    • By paddy's mum 10th Feb 19, 9:31 AM
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    paddy's mum
    How very unfair of the carer to ask you this in front of others. How to make an old lady feel unwanted...

    Perhaps you could demonstrate how it feels by asking the same carer on your next visit to discuss her contraception history, with you, in front of other people.
    • 74jax
    • By 74jax 10th Feb 19, 12:06 PM
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    74jax
    How very unfair of the carer to ask you this in front of others. How to make an old lady feel unwanted...

    Perhaps you could demonstrate how it feels by asking the same carer on your next visit to discuss her contraception history, with you, in front of other people.
    Originally posted by paddy's mum
    I think that is ridiculous. Why would she do that, its of no interest to her...

    She visited a friend, was asked if she could take her to a hospital appointment. A simple - but firm - no. She was then asked again if someone who could drive could take her, this I think is out of order and not done in private. However again 'no sorry you'll just have to sort' will do.

    No need to ask what contraception they use.... Ridiculous.

    You could also have the same where someone mentions 'ooo the carer took me to a hospital appointment the day' and the friend feels miffed she wasn't asked to help out.

    Mountains, molehills.
    Forty and fabulous, well that's what my cards say....
    • choille
    • By choille 10th Feb 19, 12:41 PM
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    choille
    Well, the lady was left to feel a nuisance & I felt embarrassed and guilty so maybe in your book it is mountains out of mole hills but I just posted to get an idea if it was the homes responsibility and to get a perspective on it.
    • paddy's mum
    • By paddy's mum 10th Feb 19, 1:03 PM
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    paddy's mum

    Mountains, molehills.
    Originally posted by 74jax
    It wasn't a molehill to the old lady nor to the OP and probably won't be to the carer if her managers ask her to explain the lack of discretion/privacy issue.

    Perhaps you also missed that word 'perhaps' in my earlier reply.

    Of course it would be ridiculous to genuinely get into a discussion about someone's contraception history but my point was that the carer might in the future be a little more aware of how questions which put someone on the spot can be, and often are, intrusive, insensitive and potentially hurtful.
    • 74jax
    • By 74jax 10th Feb 19, 1:21 PM
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    74jax
    Well, the lady was left to feel a nuisance & I felt embarrassed and guilty so maybe in your book it is mountains out of mole hills but I just posted to get an idea if it was the homes responsibility and to get a perspective on it.
    Originally posted by choille
    I'm totally with you, out of order to ask in front of people and to push it with you. I even said further up I didn't even take my dad and I was only 90mins away, you shouldn't feel guilty.

    My mountain molehills was aimed at asking the care worker what contraception she was on.... This I don't relate to the problem at all. I personally don't get why you would want to ask (yes I know you didn't suggest it) . I do however understand why the care home would ask if you could take a friend to a hospital appointment. However the moment you said no should have been the end of it.

    I honestly don't think you need ask about there contraception to make a point ....
    Forty and fabulous, well that's what my cards say....
    • dinkypoo19
    • By dinkypoo19 10th Feb 19, 2:04 PM
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    dinkypoo19
    FIL is in a similarly priced nursing home. He's been there almost 5 years now. He is transported to hospital appointments on a trolley in an ambulance. The home ask if hubby or I want to travel in the ambulance with him. If we are not available, they charge us 20 for a member of staff to travel with him.
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