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    • trailingspouse
    • By trailingspouse 8th Feb 19, 10:31 AM
    • 3,496Posts
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    trailingspouse
    The cost of being single
    • #1
    • 8th Feb 19, 10:31 AM
    The cost of being single 8th Feb 19 at 10:31 AM
    So, Mr Spouse is moving out. No, don't feel sorry for me - it's OK.


    But - why are things more expensive for one person than they are for two??


    Let's take Council Tax. Yes, as a single person, I'll get a 25% reduction - but the household income will reduce by 50%, so I'm paying a larger % of the household income now.


    Car insurance - I have my own policy, on my own car, with Mr Spouse as a named driver. Rang the insurers yesterday to have his name taken off the policy - they want an additional £130!!!


    If and when I want to go on holiday, the room rate will be much the same for me on my own as it was when we travelled as a couple.


    I'm sure there are more - this is just what I've come across so far, and he hasn't even gone yet!!!
Page 3
    • trailingspouse
    • By trailingspouse 9th Feb 19, 2:33 PM
    • 3,496 Posts
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    trailingspouse
    I'm not worried about the 'on my own' thing - because he's worked away a lot I'm kind of used to it. I moved into this house on my own while he was working in India - he came home 2 months later and I'd already had the place re-wired and planned the new kitchen. And I learnt a long time ago that if I want to go somewhere then I need to go on my own. I draw the line at going to the pub on my own (not sure why - maybe it's just that I'm old enough to think it's not quite nice for a woman to be on her own in a pub), but I've certainly stayed in hotels (and drunk in hotel bars) on my own, eaten out on my own and flown on my own.



    I have friends that are up for a night out from time to time - I'm certainly not going to be staying in and thinking 'poor me'.



    jackieblack - I'm definitely focusing on the positives. He'll be taking some of the furniture, and I'm planning what to do with all the space! Onwards and upwards!

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    Last edited by Former MSE Andrea; 14-02-2019 at 11:15 AM.
    • goodwithsaving
    • By goodwithsaving 9th Feb 19, 8:17 PM
    • 946 Posts
    • 1,553 Thanks
    goodwithsaving
    I can really relate to the council tax frustration, and the bills and can most certainly relate to the fear of being the sole income. That often keeps me awake at night.
    Holidays are a major frustration. I'm at a time in my life where I should be enjoying myself and I have a decent income, but there's just never any money and holidays for one are just so expensive. Renovating a house on your own is no easy feat either, not just financially but also in terms of having another pair of hands.


    My relatives are all married and don't understand that money is tight, or you just can't buy another car. At the same time, they don't understand how somebody on their own can acheive so much and (incorrectly) suspect parental help.



    That said, despite the struggles I won't get a lodger. I value having my own home after dreading getting through the front door towards the end of my relationship and this home being mine and my safe haven. There's a fear of letting someone else in though, when you become so independent and everything is yours and yours alone it can be hard to imagine it being any other way.
    And that scares me, because I'm still young-ish and don't want to be alone forever. But I also have too much to lose now.


    For now, I'll continue to listen to music in bed, eat a cold can of beans for supper, dance my way around the house and wake up at 05:30. It costs more but I'm proud of what it has taught me. Not many get to live on their own, and it's so liberating.
    • onomatopoeia99
    • By onomatopoeia99 9th Feb 19, 8:30 PM
    • 5,441 Posts
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    onomatopoeia99
    There's a fear of letting someone else in though, when you become so independent and everything is yours and yours alone it can be hard to imagine it being any other way.
    And that scares me, because I'm still young-ish and don't want to be alone forever. But I also have too much to lose now.
    Originally posted by goodwithsaving
    Know exactly what you mean. For me the first few years after the end of the relationship were a struggle, emotional and financial, because suddenly there was one income where there was two, and the mortgage was doubled to buy her out, and I had to pay more to her later as I simply couldn't get enough all at once. I really worked at getting the finances in order which took years, and having reached a point where I'm not living month to month any more, letting someone in who doesn't have that financial stability and their own home gets into really scary territory.


    Having your own space, compeltely your own into which no-one at all can come, is very liberating though as you say, and nowadays I depend on it. Though I'm not "young-ish" any more
    INTP, nerd, libertarian and scifi geek. Home is where my books are.

    5.2kWp system, SE facing, >1% shading, installed March 2019.
    • John G Jones
    • By John G Jones 9th Feb 19, 9:56 PM
    • 530 Posts
    • 724 Thanks
    John G Jones
    I still don't see why they get a discount, though. A single able-bodied person between the ages of 31 and 65 is now the only person who pays full price on the trains
    Originally posted by coffeehound
    They get a discount as it encourages more people to travel.

    Itís the same as the BOGOF deals in supermarkets that encourage you to buy a second item which you would not if they just halved every ticket price.
    • getmore4less
    • By getmore4less 10th Feb 19, 9:14 AM
    • 35,477 Posts
    • 21,694 Thanks
    getmore4less
    ...
    And I learnt a long time ago that if I want to go somewhere then I need to go on my own. I draw the line at going to the pub on my own (not sure why - maybe it's just that I'm old enough to think it's not quite nice for a woman to be on her own in a pub), but I've certainly stayed in hotels (and drunk in hotel bars) on my own, eaten out on my own and flown on my own.

    I have friends that are up for a night out from time to time - I'm certainly not going to be staying in and thinking 'poor me'.
    ...
    Originally posted by trailingspouse
    It does seem to be easier for blokes to do the walk into any random pub.

    It can be easier if you have a place you could cultivate as a "local" where there are regulars you can hang out with but that can take a long time if you don't go a lot.


    On the holiday front one sector that does have deals for solo passengers is the cruise market, sometimes not easy to find but can be very good value for money.
    • goodwithsaving
    • By goodwithsaving 10th Feb 19, 9:26 AM
    • 946 Posts
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    goodwithsaving
    It does seem to be easier for blokes to do the walk into any random pub.

    On the holiday front one sector that does have deals for solo passengers is the cruise market, sometimes not easy to find but can be very good value for money.
    Originally posted by getmore4less

    It really is, although as a female I tend to go to the more cafe/bar places which helps.
    The single rooms on cruises are usually for inside, small cabins with no view.
    Every time you borrow money, youíre robbing your future self. ĖNathan W. Morris
    • getmore4less
    • By getmore4less 11th Feb 19, 7:18 AM
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    getmore4less
    It really is, although as a female I tend to go to the more cafe/bar places which helps.
    The single rooms on cruises are usually for inside, small cabins with no view.
    Originally posted by goodwithsaving
    They also have offers where they sell of the regular cabins with no/low suppliments to 2pax pp prices.

    On some trips cabins are cheaper to solos than they charge each passenger sharing.

    If cruises are of interest then worth investigating further.
    • trailingspouse
    • By trailingspouse 11th Feb 19, 8:09 AM
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    trailingspouse
    To be honest, I've never fancied cruising (spent 3 years at sea in my younger days). I do however have a very long to-do list, with everything from Vietnam to Brighton on it. Once things have settled down a bit I'll be taking a few days away (off down to Hampshire to visit my son). And then I'll start planning where I want to go next time I can afford it!!
    • trailingspouse
    • By trailingspouse 11th Feb 19, 8:51 PM
    • 3,496 Posts
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    trailingspouse
    The problem is that statistically you have suddenly become more of a risk in insurance world.
    If you know how this works I'm surprised you have to ask
    Originally posted by maisie cat
    STBX has just spoken to his insurers, to take me off his policy. He also wanted to add someone else. They want an additional £130 to take me off, and a further £200 to add someone else! Does anyone really know how this works??
    • april_hunt
    • By april_hunt 12th Feb 19, 1:47 PM
    • 7 Posts
    • 2 Thanks
    april_hunt
    some insurance companies let you do it online for free - worth a check. Also with holidays and that its worth shopping about for sure.
    • janb5
    • By janb5 12th Feb 19, 1:50 PM
    • 1,897 Posts
    • 6,876 Thanks
    janb5
    One of my plans is to take in a lodger, under the Rent-a-Room scheme (I have a large attic, with two good sized rooms and a shower room), so that will go some way towards making the utilities and their standing charges less painful. Yes, I know they'll also be using the water and the electric, but there'll still be a profit.



    If we get along, maybe we could get a 'Two Together' railcard...
    Originally posted by trailingspouse

    Hi another single here. Could I suggest being a Theatre host? I rent out two of my rooms to `guests` and there is a theatre nearby. I always used to have lodgers but this is better and I have had some really nice guests. Google theatre digs booker. Message me if you`d like more information.
    Last edited by janb5; 14-02-2019 at 4:12 PM.
    • Savvy_Sue
    • By Savvy_Sue 12th Feb 19, 2:01 PM
    • 39,700 Posts
    • 36,857 Thanks
    Savvy_Sue
    STBX has just spoken to his insurers, to take me off his policy. He also wanted to add someone else. They want an additional £130 to take me off, and a further £200 to add someone else! Does anyone really know how this works??
    Originally posted by trailingspouse
    I'm guessing the additional driver was a higher risk than you - youngster? New driver?

    It could be cheaper to cancel the whole policy and start again. Some make a charge for every little adjustment, others don't. Take a look at Martin's articles on the main site.
    Still knitting!
    Completed: 1 adult cardigan, 3 baby jumpers, 3 shawls, 1 sweat band, 3 pairs baby bootees,
    1 Wise Man Knitivity figure + 1 sheep, 2 pairs socks, 2 hats, 2 balaclavas for seamen, 1 balaclava for myself, multiple poppies, 3 peony flowers, 4 butterflies ...
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    • trailingspouse
    • By trailingspouse 12th Feb 19, 3:31 PM
    • 3,496 Posts
    • 6,073 Thanks
    trailingspouse
    Thanks janb5, that sounds fun - I'll look into it! I also thought about taking in foreign students (I'm a qualified TEFL tutor) - but no language schools round here.



    We are, however, just a two minute walk to the train station, and only 19 minutes by train from central Leeds/central Bradford - so that's the angle I'll be taking. Lots of universities/hospitals/large companies (Channel 4 is moving to Leeds) where people might need temp accommodation. A bit of sorting out to do before I can rent - couple of minor repairs, and some bits and bobs of furniture, but nothing major. And then Rent-a-Room scheme here we come!!
    • Walker1
    • By Walker1 12th Feb 19, 3:32 PM
    • 17 Posts
    • 112 Thanks
    Walker1
    Iíve not read through the whole thread but thought Iíd post my situation.

    Was in a relationship until 18 months ago. When it finished I was in 4K debt.

    Now I have 13k in the bank.

    Yeh sure some things cost more but now I can concentrate on doing things right and improving my situation.
    • janb5
    • By janb5 12th Feb 19, 5:49 PM
    • 1,897 Posts
    • 6,876 Thanks
    janb5
    Thanks janb5, that sounds fun - I'll look into it! I also thought about taking in foreign students (I'm a qualified TEFL tutor) - but no language schools round here.



    We are, however, just a two minute walk to the train station, and only 19 minutes by train from central Leeds/central Bradford - so that's the angle I'll be taking. Lots of universities/hospitals/large companies (Channel 4 is moving to Leeds) where people might need temp accommodation. A bit of sorting out to do before I can rent - couple of minor repairs, and some bits and bobs of furniture, but nothing major. And then Rent-a-Room scheme here we come!!
    Originally posted by trailingspouse
    Just to add that I had a lovely Lithuanian guy staying with me for eighteen months and discovered I didn't have to pay council tax for him because his permanent home was elsewhere. He used to stay 4 nights with me and go home every weekend!

    He now has a job in another area but still comes to see me periodically and has regularly brought me Lithuanian bread and cheese!

    So it is the same situation with the theatre people whether actors or behind the scenes and I don`t have to add them to the council tax and keep my single discount.
    Last edited by janb5; 12-02-2019 at 11:19 PM.
    • laurenzo
    • By laurenzo 12th Feb 19, 10:42 PM
    • 29 Posts
    • 34 Thanks
    laurenzo
    Just an idea but why not just leave his idea on the policy til renewal itís not like your going to let him drive your car or claim and he doesnít have to know so no issues there! If you renew with same company perhaps donít tell them then either lol
    • Subo2019
    • By Subo2019 12th Feb 19, 11:35 PM
    • 1 Posts
    • 0 Thanks
    Subo2019
    Iím in the same boat
    Some suggestions:
    - Leave him on the insurance but donít give him access to the car.
    - See if anyone else is willing to go onto your new policy as a named driver to bring your cost down.
    - consider short term room letting (if you have the space) to boost your income
    • metrobus
    • By metrobus 13th Feb 19, 4:11 AM
    • 1,472 Posts
    • 751 Thanks
    metrobus
    With gas/electric/water thatís only true up to a point - the standing charges are the same no matter how many in the household. And as your usage reduces they become a much bigger % of the bill.
    The standing charge on my last electricity bill was more than 50% of the bill - even if I reduced my usage to 0, thereís nothing I can do about reducing the standing charge.
    (I always shop around and change providers whenever I need to, being a low user I try to choose tariffs with a lower standing charge)
    Originally posted by jackieblack
    Until the clueless,idiots that could not see further than the end of their nose brought in the energy price cap,we could use companies such as Ebico who had only pay what you use tariffs without the daily standing charge,which were far better for low users.
    • trailingspouse
    • By trailingspouse 13th Feb 19, 7:43 AM
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    trailingspouse
    We've both agreed to leave each other on our insurance policies. Seems daft to pay out a total of £260 for no reason!! The split is amicable, so no hassle on that score.



    Walker1 - yes, I'm looking forward to being able to control my own destiny. I can concentrate on spending my money on (or rather, saving my money for) the things that I want to do. Lots to look forward to.
    • ediesonlighthouse
    • By ediesonlighthouse 13th Feb 19, 8:56 AM
    • 10 Posts
    • 2 Thanks
    ediesonlighthouse
    I have a friend in a similar situation, and she said the same as others - yes the loss of income is a struggle, but the opportunities to save are far greater. He was always a bit of a show off, and now rather than a night on the town we have lovely girls nights in for barely any ££
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