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  • FIRST POST
    • Mooloo
    • By Mooloo 1st Jan 19, 2:36 PM
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    Mooloo
    I will cut my coat according to my cloth. Mooloo 2019
    • #1
    • 1st Jan 19, 2:36 PM
    I will cut my coat according to my cloth. Mooloo 2019 1st Jan 19 at 2:36 PM
    As I am a Seamstress, and this year is about my sorting out my life and changing my direction, finally loosing the family debts etc perhaps the title is the most apt I can come up with this year.
    Here is to 2019 and a frugal year to change my direction so that I can rebuild my dreams in the next year.
    When I die I will know that I have lived, loved, mattered and made a difference, even if in a small way.
Page 14
    • pollyanna 26
    • By pollyanna 26 10th Feb 19, 8:04 PM
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    pollyanna 26
    I'm not going to shoot you down ognum There's always psychology in life. As a forces child who suffered trauma abroad at a young age which was hushed up, Mooloo was left with unresolved issues . I know myself in lesser ways it's easier to focus your attention elsewhere rather than resolve something as well as possible .If something doesn't force a resolution it becomes easier to bury things and distract yourself in other ways .Leading a busy life , being the solver of everyone elses problem takes up time and often the person doing so is unaware of what is happening .


    In time this becomes the new normal ,no longer questioned . Some unwise decisions happen and only the hope of a lightbulb moment can make things change . I mentioned avoidance in an earlier post and mentally and physically that's a bad coping mechanism . The problem is if you're doing it you don't recognise you are .
    polly
    • *max*
    • By *max* 10th Feb 19, 8:14 PM
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    *max*
    I may be wrong but I seem to recall there were Euros left either after Portugal when her and her mum didn't go out as much as planned due to sickness and her mums exhaustion or possibly after her mums holiday with her brother . Happy to be corrected if wrong .
    polly
    Originally posted by pollyanna 26
    To be fair to other posters, Euros aren't Monopoly money. They can be changed to Sterling easily. Just because there are some left doesn't mean they have to be kept and spent on another holiday.
    • candygirl
    • By candygirl 10th Feb 19, 8:56 PM
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    candygirl
    I might be wrong, but I'm thinking Mooloo wants another hols, due to the fact the last one wasn't the best
    If someone paid for a hols for me, I'd be off like a shot
    Yea there are things that need sorting at home, but I doubt a week away, will make any difference to these issues After all, they have been going on for years, n aren't going to be resolved anytime soon
    Enjoy Malta Mooloo x
    "You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf"

    (Kabat-Zinn 2004)
    • -taff
    • By -taff 10th Feb 19, 9:19 PM
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    -taff
    Mooloo writes on an open forum, many people have read this thread for a long time, readers will remember what has been written or can read back.

    Why get so wound up about it?
    Originally posted by ognum

    Because I suppose, it sounds like unfair criticism to me.
    When obvious things are happening, like her family taking advantage of her, people post to remind her that his happening. When someone critices her for going on holiday, bearing in mind most of her life is firefighting everyone else problems, a week [o two] away where you can leave those things behind and recharge doesn't sound worthy of criticism. I wouldn't class time away with my parent a holiday because I'm not relaxed, I'm worrying about what happens next and the pressure of making sure they are ok.
    Of course, I could be projecting that part.
    • surveyqueenuk
    • By surveyqueenuk 10th Feb 19, 9:53 PM
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    surveyqueenuk
    If someone paid for a hols for me, I'd be off like a shot
    Originally posted by candygirl
    Too right! Moo, it is obvious to me that your pal really values your friendship. What a fantastic opportunity, to spend a week in beautiful Malta as simply a friend. Not a daughter, Mum, grandma, worker, babysitter, dogsbody etc...just YOU. Just what the doctor ordered!
    • pollyanna 26
    • By pollyanna 26 10th Feb 19, 10:11 PM
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    pollyanna 26
    Well I'm off to bed . My earlier post critical of the holiday was before Mooloo pointed out no debt would be involved . If a week in the sun can give her the chance to rest a bit maybe it's worth leaving things behind and coming back with her batteries recharged to start again.


    But Mooloo get that info from your son after this weeks meeting and start trying to sort that before you go away .
    pollyx
    • Mooloo
    • By Mooloo 11th Feb 19, 8:52 PM
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    Mooloo
    Well I'm off to bed . My earlier post critical of the holiday was before Mooloo pointed out no debt would be involved . If a week in the sun can give her the chance to rest a bit maybe it's worth leaving things behind and coming back with her batteries recharged to start again.


    But Mooloo get that info from your son after this weeks meeting and start trying to sort that before you go away .
    pollyx
    Originally posted by pollyanna 26
    DS sent the payment over without my having to nag which is good. Biggests payment also comes in without fail every month.

    Yes I will still chase DS.
    Social meeting has been postponed so I will call him tomorrow.
    Holiday with Mum was tiring as it tied me down.
    Yes I am lucky to have good friends that I don't have to blow the budget with. I am going while Dgd is with her Mum in the school holidays. Not to run away from my problems. I do chase the sun in a way, as it helps with the SAD, but this occasion my friend also needs a change of scenery.
    Someone mentioned about my cashing in the Euros. Yes I did cash some in, but while clearing out my room I found more.
    Even if I hadn't found them, I would have used my holiday saving pot.
    Have you ever read a book called The Richest Man in Babylon?
    I put 10% of my income straight into three different pots.
    The Holiday, The Emergency, and the Debt pot. So every week money goes in those pots before the bills. Yes I used it all up in the beginning of January clearing up as much as I could, and then each time I get an income I put my 10% back in the pot.
    (Or near as I can), so I would have the spending money available for a week quite easily and quickly.

    I understand that I am not settled and I yo-yo and that I find it hard to let go, and I do still want to settle down in Portugal but I also enjoy seeing the world. I will continue to take every opportunity I see to go away. Life is too short not to.
    Another person died this week, the wife of my Ex that died last week. Obviously I am not devastated by the news, although I am deeply saddened for her Son, but it just reminds me even more how life is for living.
    I am going to live my life, for me. Not for everyone else, but for me.
    I will not turn my back on everyone, but I intend to enjoy whatever I can when ever the black dog lifts.
    Yes the things that I endured in my past were not all Roses, but I am not dwelling on it. It does affect my hoarding and my want to move, and if I can not afford my Portugal dream then I will enjoy as many trips away as I can while I can. Who knows what is around the corner for any of us? It might be my time is shorter than I expect.
    I intend to live up to my borrowed motto,
    I will have lived, loved and mattered.

    Tomorrow I am up early to sew as after dinner I couldn't be bothered too. I binged watched last weeks A Place to call Home while enjoying the feeling of new beginnings with my flooring and my desk etc, and wondering what fabric I will make my curtains out of and cover the sofa with. That is one sewing job I will definitely enjoy.
    When I die I will know that I have lived, loved, mattered and made a difference, even if in a small way.
    • Mooloo
    • By Mooloo 11th Feb 19, 9:00 PM
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    Mooloo
    PS. I am still cutting my coat according to my cloth, and not adding to my debt. The target is debt free by end of July.
    The curtains and sofa cover will come from my stash of fabrics.
    When I return I will be organising the Sale of the retail products, and we are already getting in bookings for wedding and proms. I have had a good feedback about relocating to work from home, and I am up for the challenge of the change.

    Now, definitely bedtime!
    When I die I will know that I have lived, loved, mattered and made a difference, even if in a small way.
    • Artytarty
    • By Artytarty 11th Feb 19, 9:20 PM
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    Artytarty
    Mooloo have yo ever considered an actual hard copy diary, where you don't have to justify yourself?
    Too many us dabble in a bit of amateur counselling on here and I doubt it is that healthy.
    Now I think of it, you mentioned diaries re writing a book ?
    I am aware there is a certain irony in me posting this but you have my word I'll,not post my thoughts on your thread again. Having seen how it has become a kind of hobby for some.
    Norn Iron Club member 473
    • Chrystal
    • By Chrystal 11th Feb 19, 9:31 PM
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    • 4,629 Thanks
    Chrystal
    Way to go Mooloo!

    You sound positive and focused, which is brilliant to hear. Stay determined to do what YOU want to do and I'm sure you'll get there. Great news about positive feedback regarding working from home.... Just remember to tell all and sundry not to phone unless it's work related and that your not at home for their convenience.

    Enjoy your holiday X
    I Believe.....
    That it isn't always enough, to be forgiven by others.
    Sometimes, you have to learn to forgive yourself.
    • candygirl
    • By candygirl 11th Feb 19, 11:08 PM
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    candygirl
    Omg Moolo, what did the exe' s wife die of?That's awful
    "You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf"

    (Kabat-Zinn 2004)
    • Battybird
    • By Battybird 11th Feb 19, 11:34 PM
    • 303 Posts
    • 548 Thanks
    Battybird
    Really? Does it actually have anything to do with you? I don't recall her saying she'd cashed in any Euros. And why would she when she has regular holidays in EU? It's hardly any of our business even if she needs more Euros for spending money.
    Originally posted by Feral Moon
    Huge sigh.
    Non of Mooloos life has anything to do with any of us that type or lurk on here. But she chooses to let us all read about it. I first typed as I was shocked that she was going on holiday again when she had stated that she would have to rein her spending in in February.

    Mooloo has typed in an above post that she had cashed in some Euros but found some more.

    Believe it or not, I admire the lady very much. I couldn't cope with a tenth of what she copes with.
    Last edited by Battybird; 12-02-2019 at 1:08 AM.
    • Mooloo
    • By Mooloo 12th Feb 19, 7:34 AM
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    Mooloo
    I am still feeling positive today. Sun out helps.
    Tax Credits have adjusted my payment, and I have received about £280 more today than I usually do. So I have moved it into savings, as the last time they adjusted it, it meant future payments were going down. Last time it reduced by £40 a week. So I am going to be very careful until the paperwork catches up with the money.
    I don't intend to get behind with my money.

    I brought some work home to do but decided to leave it till this morning, however I had some terrible nightmares and a lot of tossing around in between so I only managed to do one dress hem and one pair of trousers this morning.
    Time to go back to the shop.
    Have a morning of fittings ahead and then I will sew as much as I can.
    I would like to work on the website this evening if I can.
    When I die I will know that I have lived, loved, mattered and made a difference, even if in a small way.
    • ognum
    • By ognum 12th Feb 19, 8:14 AM
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    ognum
    Mooloo have yo ever considered an actual hard copy diary, where you don't have to justify yourself?
    Too many us dabble in a bit of amateur counselling on here and I doubt it is that healthy.
    Now I think of it, you mentioned diaries re writing a book ?
    I am aware there is a certain irony in me posting this but you have my word I'll,not post my thoughts on your thread again. Having seen how it has become a kind of hobby for some.
    Originally posted by Artytarty
    Why do you think people write about their personal lives, hopes and fears on an open forum? They post for other people’s thought, opinions and arguments.

    If Mooloo choose she could (and does with her more private thoughts) write them down in a diary that is private but writing here and getting opinion is therapeutic to her.

    I do not read or write here regularly, maybe once a month but I do see traits as do others and occasionally write down my thoughts as do others.

    Maybe they make people stand back and think, maybe they don’t, I always preface them with the fact they are my thoughts only, but some of us have professional experience and others life experience.

    It is for Mooloo to say if she wants people to continue to post, if she says she does not then I for one will stop my occasional post. I believe that Mooloo finds support from the ‘hobby posters’ you describe rather than the need to justify herself.

    Just my thoughts.
    • Mooloo
    • By Mooloo 12th Feb 19, 8:19 AM
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    Mooloo
    Mooloo have yo ever considered an actual hard copy diary, where you don't have to justify yourself?
    Too many us dabble in a bit of amateur counselling on here and I doubt it is that healthy.
    Now I think of it, you mentioned diaries re writing a book ?
    I am aware there is a certain irony in me posting this but you have my word I'll,not post my thoughts on your thread again. Having seen how it has become a kind of hobby for some.
    Originally posted by Artytarty
    I have about 80 journals all hand written since 1993. Probably more.
    I constantly write them, but not every single day. I can write them in fits and starts, but I use them to brainstorm/mindmap and to work out my scrambled thoughts.
    When I die I will know that I have lived, loved, mattered and made a difference, even if in a small way.
    • hb2
    • By hb2 12th Feb 19, 10:58 AM
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    • 786 Thanks
    hb2
    Morning all!

    I kept my head down yesterday as I am a newcomer to this thread and really don't know enough to voice an opinion. I agree that posts are in the public domain and open for discussion but I don't think that is an excuse for infighting or backbiting of the kind I have often seen on various forums/fora across the www.
    • Mooloo
    • By Mooloo 12th Feb 19, 12:15 PM
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    Mooloo
    Why do you think people write about their personal lives, hopes and fears on an open forum? They post for other people’s thought, opinions and arguments.

    If Mooloo choose she could (and does with her more private thoughts) write them down in a diary that is private but writing here and getting opinion is therapeutic to her.

    I do not read or write here regularly, maybe once a month but I do see traits as do others and occasionally write down my thoughts as do others.

    Maybe they make people stand back and think, maybe they don’t, I always preface them with the fact they are my thoughts only, but some of us have professional experience and others life experience.

    It is for Mooloo to say if she wants people to continue to post, if she says she does not then I for one will stop my occasional post. I believe that Mooloo finds support from the ‘hobby posters’ you describe rather than the need to justify herself.


    Just my thoughts.
    Originally posted by ognum
    Yes I find it helpful to get opinions, or just areply, I don't feel quite so alone withthe group of regular posters. I realise though that my choices are mine alone and doesn't necessarily mean that everyone reading will agree.
    I sometimes think that with the written word it is difficult to always interpret responses in the way a poster might have written it.
    Unlike inna book we don't get discriptive comments around a phrase or sentences that would denote surprise or concern or light hearted warnings etc.
    I don't like it when people jump on the band wagon of putting each other down because they might have taken something out of context or concentrate on a small detail rather than the whole.
    As I have said before, I understand that I am open to criticism and therefore I try not to jump on negative points of view but I also try to follow the course of reason that can be given.

    I am happy enough to carry on without any mud slinging between others.
    As MSE say, be kind to other posters.
    When I die I will know that I have lived, loved, mattered and made a difference, even if in a small way.
    • pollyanna 26
    • By pollyanna 26 12th Feb 19, 4:13 PM
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    pollyanna 26
    Yes I find it helpful to get opinions, or just areply, I don't feel quite so alone withthe group of regular posters. I realise though that my choices are mine alone and doesn't necessarily mean that everyone reading will agree.
    I sometimes think that with the written word it is difficult to always interpret responses in the way a poster might have written it.
    Unlike inna book we don't get discriptive comments around a phrase or sentences that would denote surprise or concern or light hearted warnings etc.
    I don't like it when people jump on the band wagon of putting each other down because they might have taken something out of context or concentrate on a small detail rather than the whole.
    As I have said before, I understand that I am open to criticism and therefore I try not to jump on negative points of view but I also try to follow the course of reason that can be given.

    I am happy enough to carry on without any mud slinging between others.
    As MSE say, be kind to other posters.
    Originally posted by Mooloo

    I agree with this. Many of us have followed Mooloo's journey over the years . I do believe Mooloo considers it somewhere she can discuss the things going on , the plans she has etc among people who wish her well.


    We all have different experiences in our lives that cause us to find a way through difficult times , to cope with change and life's ups and downs and although not the same as Mooloo's can give us the means to advise and support . No one is claiming to be a qualified professional but learning to cope and get through real life experience you can't get from text books or courses .



    I can be blunt , nag a bit and never do the Oh poor you thing either in real life or online when a few other words may be more constructive and helpful in the long run. As far as I'm aware I have never been cruel or unkind . I don't act like that in real life or online. It's nasty and unhelpful . Things such as the euros or no euros on Sunday night take a thread off course and are pretty pointless



    My post about remembering there were still Euros was my "Inconvenient memory" recently mentioned coming in to play but failed to stop the debate Those of us who've followed the annual threads know of the diaries etc and the various savings pots although I wasn't sure whether she'd had to use any money from the pots recently We all know from her posts on this thread how she funded reducing her debt in a big way with a date this year for it be finally gone.


    No one who has recently started following can know the bigger picture or be expected to unless they read back over the years .


    One thing is Mooloo did something very brave and potentially heart breaking recently. I was proud of her for acting as she did . Gentle support and encouragement is more important than what happened to the Euros.
    polly.
    • Bozwood
    • By Bozwood 12th Feb 19, 7:28 PM
    • 182 Posts
    • 2,517 Thanks
    Bozwood
    Have a fab holiday you need a break
    • Mooloo
    • By Mooloo 12th Feb 19, 9:12 PM
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    Mooloo
    Have a fab holiday you need a break
    Originally posted by Bozwood
    I don't need a break as such, but I get your point, my life can sometimes be a battle field but I certainly can say that at the end of the day I certainly will be able to say I have travelled a long road.
    I will always take any opportunity to visit other places and take time to experience life differently than just staying at home doing the same old.
    On my walk to work (which I have done every day since Dgd started to cycle to school), I see many regular faces. Yesterday I spoke to a dog walker I have only normally smiled and said good morning to. She is usually with another lady, and I made a comment on the fact she was on her own. She too does granny duties, feels the SAD and she said that some times when people ask her how she is she just wants to say. Same S hit different day.
    She is 75. Today I was on the opposite side of the road, but we both looked up and waved.
    Of course she knew I was the Seamstress but I didn't know that until we took 5 minutes to talk.
    I know that I will be even more aware of her each day, and I will be concerned if I don't see her on any future day. I would like to hope that we do not have to think that life is the way she described it. If I could think of something to do that I could change her feelings I would. I would like to find that different day for her.
    When I die I will know that I have lived, loved, mattered and made a difference, even if in a small way.
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