The Giving Up/ Cutting Down alcohol support thread - number 13

Honey_Bear · 15 June 2017 at 1:53PM

All that has happened is that Dry January has made you aware of your tippling, Elusive Lucy, which was probably sort of the point. If you're stopping after one or two, it's a shame if you feel guilty for enjoying yourself.

15/30 please, Shaggy.

Green_Karen · 15 June 2017 at 10:44PM

Been a hectic few days but back with 2/5 AF days.

Thanks ever so much for all the good wishes about my mum and the great advice. Got a little time to think about it all as she has been placed into intermediate care, hopefully for a couple of weeks. They are talking about installing a stairlift and other aids to get her home again. But I have seen her deteriorate markedly lately and I think she doesn't realise how short term living independently will be for her. But for now at least, it seems possible she can manage it.

I have to say all things seem trivial compared to the tragedies that happens in other people's lives.

sukeyboo · 16 June 2017 at 9:30AM

7/12 for last night please Shaggy

ElusiveLucy · 16 June 2017 at 10:20AM

Honey_Bear wrote: »

All that has happened is that Dry January has made you aware of your tippling, Elusive Lucy, which was probably sort of the point. If you're stopping after one or two, it's a shame if you feel guilty for enjoying yourself.

I think it is frustration with myself because I know I managed the whole of Jan and what I aim for is AFDs from Mon-Thur and I'm not even managing that at the moment. Last night I had one drink sitting out in the garden after work. I desperately wanted another later in the evening but I did stop myself, however I seem unable to do an AFD and when I "spoil" it with one drink I look back and think....why did I have the one drink?

cathybird · 16 June 2017 at 10:51AM

Good morning all, 15/21 for me today

Honey_Bear · 16 June 2017 at 11:08AM

Green_Karen wrote: »

Thanks ever so much for all the good wishes about my mum and the great advice. Got a little time to think about it all as she has been placed into intermediate care, hopefully for a couple of weeks. They are talking about installing a stairlift and other aids to get her home again. But I have seen her deteriorate markedly lately and I think she doesn't realise how short term living independently will be for her. But for now at least, it seems possible she can manage it.

I have to say all things seem trivial compared to the tragedies that happens in other people's lives.

Reading that first paragraph your mother's situation doesn't sound trivial at all. She's your mum and you don't want to be out of your depth if you're going to be responsible for her. It also sounds as though she has a significant number of health problems and that's always worrying.

I think we're all pretty stunned by recent events. I can barely think straight about Manchester and the two horrors in London but it does put most day to day concerns in a new perspective.

ElusiveLucy wrote: »

I think it is frustration with myself because I know I managed the whole of Jan and what I aim for is AFDs from Mon-Thur and I'm not even managing that at the moment. Last night I had one drink sitting out in the garden after work. I desperately wanted another later in the evening but I did stop myself, however I seem unable to do an AFD and when I "spoil" it with one drink I look back and think....why did I have the one drink?

It's a habit, Elusive Lucy. Having a drink is probably your way of having something to look forward to, something to help you relax and a bit of a reward for getting through all the things you've achieved by the end of the day. It certainly was for me, anyway. The trick is to find something else that you can use that doesn't leave you feeling cross with yourself. There are books about this written by women that I found helpful, and your local library will have at least one or two that talk about giving up drinking which is what you're trying to do four nights a week, and you can tailor that information to your own personal circumstances.

In my case what worked for me was finding a subsitute to drink when I absolutely had to have somethinig in my hand (Be*ks Bl*e) but mostly avoiding the situation that made me reach for one in the first place for a month or so. That's the habit bit you might want to work on breaking for an evening at a time by noticing what it is that makes you think you'd really, really like one. (Having the first, usually!) Most people seem to find 'distraction' works by finding something to do that doesn't involve drinking, but I found a bar a chocolate was just the thing. You could always take up canoeing!

In any event, you stopped after one and that's an Alcohol Low Day, so well done.

16/30 please, Shaggy.

Poor_Single_lady · 16 June 2017 at 7:18PM

8/25

And only 14 more days left this month. For the June payday I am going to minimise money spent on alcohol to bare minimum and put money saved aside.
Going to decline everything as far as possible from payday to payday. Cannot have another month like this either from money or alcohol viewpoints.

Barny1979 · 16 June 2017 at 8:42PM

15/25 AFDs today

Honey_Bear · 17 June 2017 at 9:51AM

ElusiveLucy wrote: »

I think it is frustration with myself because I know I managed the whole of Jan and what I aim for is AFDs from Mon-Thur and I'm not even managing that at the moment. Last night I had one drink sitting out in the garden after work. I desperately wanted another later in the evening but I did stop myself, however I seem unable to do an AFD and when I "spoil" it with one drink I look back and think....why did I have the one drink?

Don't take this in any way as a suggestion that you should stop drinking altogether, but re-reading your comment this morning made me realise that not drinking for January was probably a lot easier than allowing yourself to choose whether to drink or not every day, even if the intention is not to drink Monday to Thursday.

I do think drinking is a habit as I said above, but I also think that life is a lot simpler if we decide we're just not going to do something and focus on that for a while - like giving up smoking. It's a toughie while you're getting your head around it to begin with, but stopping and starting, and then expecting not doing the behaviour to be easy, whatever it is, is much more difficult. In my case, just making the decision to stop altogether was HUGE, and the first two weeks were very difficult but then it got [STRIKE]easier[/STRIKE] more straightforward and now it really is easy.

I don't advocate giving up on a whim, I'm not suggesting you should even think about it, but what I'm saying is that choosing or not whether you have one drink every single day and then feeling bad if you do is something I used to do and I wouldn't swap this life now to go back to that. It is jolly hard work, and I'm too lazy. I'm all for the simple life. I can honestly say I don't enjoy life any the less, either. If I thought I needed booze to have a good time, I'd be a bit worried - I don't think I ever thought that while I was drinking, but I found the idea of doing without it utterly horrifying, so strong a hold it had on my way of thinking.

You're a work in progress, Elusive Lucy, and that's how we bring change into our lives.

Poor_Single_lady wrote: »

8/25

And only 14 more days left this month. For the June payday I am going to minimise money spent on alcohol to bare minimum and put money saved aside.
Going to decline everything as far as possible from payday to payday. Cannot have another month like this either from money or alcohol viewpoints.

There are so many different ways to motivate ourselves - with me it was my central relationship, with Maman it was about losing weight and if being one of Martin's money saving experts works for you, go for it PSL!

17/30 please, Shaggy. I hope life is still treating you kindly.

Poor_Single_lady · 17 June 2017 at 1:26PM

9/25

Trying hard for rest of month. Need to reduce spending to minimal. I wish saving money did motivate me HB. I don't know what does!

The Giving Up/ Cutting Down alcohol support thread - number 13

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