Have you had a lodger?

LandyAndy · 21 November 2018 at 9:29AM

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

I had that experience when taking on a middle-aged student retraining for a new career as a lodger.

Is that one of those jobs they never tell you about at school?

Brock_and_Roll · 21 November 2018 at 9:32AM

When I purchased my house, there was lodger "in situ".

"Brian" went off to work under one owner then came back to find a new family in the place.

Luckily Brian was/is a great bloke - kinda knew the unwritten ground rules of "British personal space". Yes of course there were some things that annoyed me - a smoker as a well as a penchant for "larger ladies" which regularly threatened the structural integrity of the house, however, there are of course things that annoy you about your partner.

I think Brian was with us 3 years before buying his own place - still friends though.

So if you need the cash there are worse things you can do!

Blondetotty · 21 November 2018 at 10:24AM

I feel your pain. I'm not the most peoply of people persons and I have the same issue currently as you do. My lodger is generally a nice person, she’s sweet and kind but irrationally she annoys the hell out of me. She’s scatter-brained and does absolutely stupid things like leaving the door unlocked all day, or the windows open and heads off to work.

Despite me asking her to do certain things a certain way (same as you, with pets) she tends to carry on and do things her way instead. To start with I couldn’t figure out if she didn’t understand me, or whether she was so arrogant that she thought she knew better. To date I still can’t figure that one out.

Food hygiene is a big thing for me and she’s absolutely disgusting in that respect, although not as bad as a previous lodger who left rotting chicken in his bedroom on a tray for over a month but that’s a whole ‘nother story.

At the end of the day though she generally looks after the place, she’s respectful and quiet and does her own thing and so I’ve found biting my tongue and steering clear is the best thing. I know it’s not forever, and fingers crossed next year I’ll not be living there and needing a lodger so I’m sucking it up until then.

On the plus side she absolutely adores my pets and treats them with love, respect and tenderness and they adore her which was the final deciding factor for me to keep her, as their well-being and happiness is more important to me than mine!

HampshireH · 21 November 2018 at 11:47AM

HampshireH, fair enough if you don't care who comes to your house while you're away...I do.

No not at all, but nobody comes to our house when we are not home.

My point was, unless you have specified that he cannot have visitors then he is perfectly entitled to do so. If its that important to you then it should be in your contract so you can act on it when it happens.

sevenhills · 21 November 2018 at 11:57AM

FreeBear wrote: »

Lesson learnt - No more couples !

Got the room back up for rent, and am being much more selective. Already rejected one female because she needs a bath & shave (also suspect she is an alcoholic). Going to limit my selection to well educated professionals, preferably female. Or failing that, mature students.

My advert is on spareroom, there are all sorts wanting a room. The safest are the teachers or school workers. Some foreigners have been in touch, I would be concerned that they would not like my dog.
People on housing benefit, its all very risky. I am taking my time.

duchy · 21 November 2018 at 12:54PM

FreeBear wrote: »

Lesson learnt - No more couples !

Got the room back up for rent, and am being much more selective. Already rejected one female because she needs a bath & shave (also suspect she is an alcoholic). Going to limit my selection to well educated professionals, preferably female. Or failing that, mature students.

The best lodgers I had were female and nurses. Worked shifts, understood basic hygiene and often did agency work too so we tended to not be always in the flat at the same times ......the best we remained good friends after probably because when we lived together we both respected boundaries. The worst was an estate agent !
My best friend had a lodger , I couldn't see how it would work as she likes her own space and worked from home but it was a great success as (again) he worked shifts and was respectful of boundaries. Over time they became good friends too, would share the odd meal but again it worked because both respected boundaries.
I wouldn't have a young lodger or someone who hadn't lived independently before , my concern with a mature student would be financial but a mature student with a job too wouldn't be so much of a concern.

There are some good lodgers out there

lincroft1710 · 21 November 2018 at 3:34PM

blue_mango wrote: »

Have you ever lived with someone you disliked?

Yes, one of the former Mrs Lincrofts.

nyc_451 · 21 November 2018 at 8:55PM

Thank you all for your replies, gave me food for thought.

I may just work on myself and try to have a more relaxed approach...

nyc_451 · 21 January 2019 at 12:25AM

I re-read a few posts on this thread to see what my thoughts were back then... I somehow convinced myself that I'm not tolerant of people and should be grateful to have this lodger? Argh thinking of him makes me sick to my stomach...

I ended up changing the locks whilst he was away.

Long story short:
My day off didn't suit his arrangements to invite his mrs, I asked him not to as I had people coming over, he still insisted and got annoyed, told him to find a better suited place, a long conversation followed. When I tried to agree the deets next day, he didn't know what I was talking about?? He tried to act nice and asked to stay, got nasty once he got my final NO. Made lots of comments, said lots of lies, was sort of bullying me. Really stressed me out - I turned to friends for advice, they were shocked by his texts. Managed to arrange an exchange of keys and his stuff, I returned his deposit and partial rent.

I actually haven't been put off having lodgers but I'll be looking out for certain character traits and not allow any vistors at MY home.

Thought I'll share my experience.

trailingspouse · 21 January 2019 at 9:25AM

I've just read this thread with interest - particularly your recent update.
I'm looking to take in a lodger myself in the not-too-distant future (lets just say 'trailingspouse' is just going to be 'trailing' soon), so I was interested to read about the issues people have had.

I have a whole attic floor that I'm planning on renting out - they'll have a bedroom, sitting room (with plumbing, so option of have a kettle, microwave etc up there), and a shower room. It's going to feel odd sharing the house with a stranger, but a) I'll need the money and b) I think there might be times when having someone else around might be good for me. And they'll have their own space (although welcome to come and use the main living room/kitchen etc), so that might solve a few problems.

It's so hard to know how you'll get along with someone - viz the fact that OH and I are splitting up...

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Have you had a lodger?

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