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  • FIRST POST
    • shaggydoo
    • By shaggydoo 8th Apr 19, 8:52 AM
    • 8,115Posts
    • 59,873Thanks
    shaggydoo
    Giving up/ Cutting Down Alcohol Thread Part 16
    • #1
    • 8th Apr 19, 8:52 AM
    Giving up/ Cutting Down Alcohol Thread Part 16 8th Apr 19 at 8:52 AM
    Welcome. Here we are again, time for a new thread, new starts and new challenges.

    Let's take a trip down memory lane and remind ourselves of In Search Of Me's (ISOM) original post in Part 1:

    24th February 2008

    Quote:
    In Search Of Me "There are a few of us who want to give up/cut down & I thought it would be good to widen the net to support each other along the way!
    For me alch & feeling good for the time I'm drinking & then rubbish after go hand in hand. A bit like drinking & smoking & drinking & getting the munchies! Last year I gave up alch & fags for 10 months & then "slipped" towards Christmas until by Jan I was doing both with alarming regularity. I dread to think how much both cost me financially and I know physically that I've felt rubbish. My lungs hurt, have put on weight & literally none of my clothes fit so I will have to buy more - which means a dent in my budget that I can ill afford. My skin is also yukky & much nicer when I dont drink/smoke!
    I had my last ciggies the night before last & last wine on Tues. I know I will feel 100% better when I crack it but also know it will be hard. One disadvantage here is that all too often DFW "parties" tend to involve alcohol so I'm also hoping that this can possibly be a safe haven for those of us who want, or need, to abstain, for now at least!
    Anway - I hope that this can be a place of real support for people who are sturggling. I do wonder whether there is a link between debt & drinking as from the Jan thread it was obvious that so many struggle to give up! Plus I know for me that I feel much hapier and in control when I dont drink (or drink in moderation) - which of course begs the question "why do I do it?"! Anyway, I do but will now try not t ad hope some of you wil join in. Some days I know I wil fail, just as I do with my debt free journey and I am more than happy to be given a swift (but nice!) kicking when I do! Hugs all and dare I say... but this time with water!!
    And here's what she started!!! :


    Part 14 and 15 is Here

    Part 13 is Here

    Part 12 is HERE

    Part 11 is HERE

    Part 10 is HERE

    Part 9 is HERE

    Part 8 is HERE

    Part 7 is HERE

    Part 6 is HERE

    Part 5 is HERE

    Part 4 is HERE

    Part 3 is HERE

    Part 2 is HERE

    and the original starting thread is HERE

    Here is a post from back on thread 1 or 2.

    Springwatch Girl Well, week 5 of no alcohol and I see a different person in the mirror. My eyes no longer look dull and vacant, they actually have a little sparkle and my skin doesn't look like uncooked pastry anymore. I feel that I have won a battle but not yet the war. Hope everyone else is at the point they want to be, I never want to be that person I was, I have been tempted but I just think back to what I had become. The sun is shining at the moment and I feel good and want to continue to have the sun in my life"
    Good Luck Everyone!

    Shaggyx
    Last edited by shaggydoo; 08-04-2019 at 9:03 AM.
    What do we do when we fall? We get up, dust ourselves off and start walking in the right direction again. Perhaps when we fall, it is easy to forget there are people along the way who help us stand and walk with us as we get back on track.
Page 99
    • Honey Bear
    • By Honey Bear 14th Oct 19, 11:08 AM
    • 5,989 Posts
    • 57,886 Thanks
    Honey Bear
    That was inevitable, Love A Sale, if you saw him and had a drink. The decision's made and implemented now, so you can move on with your life.

    *Healing vibes* heading your way AnnieG.

    14/31 please, Shaggy.
    Last edited by Honey Bear; 15-10-2019 at 8:55 AM.
    Keeping it AF
    • cathybird
    • By cathybird 14th Oct 19, 11:33 AM
    • 4,308 Posts
    • 17,907 Thanks
    cathybird
    Amazingly I have managed an AFD on only the second day of my trip lol, though the day is not quite over yet but I won't drink now, bit of a shock to the system but there it is, so am on 13/21.

    Sorry to hear about your BF Loveasale, but it is probably for the best in the long run xx
    Last edited by cathybird; 14-10-2019 at 11:37 AM.
    15 in Save 12K: £9,289.12/£12K. NNSDs: 7/10 Tilly: £5,011.42
    November AFDs: 13/21 2019 AFDs: 271/260 2018: 303/260
    • shaggydoo
    • By shaggydoo 14th Oct 19, 11:55 AM
    • 8,115 Posts
    • 59,873 Thanks
    shaggydoo
    Hello
    10/18 today.
    Had a rough week, I was admitted to hospital on Saturday and it turned out that I had a tumor in my ovary.
    It's been removed and I'm waiting to hear back from histology as to whether the cancer was contained or if there were any cells in the surrounding fluid.
    Originally posted by AnnieG

    Oh My Days!


    Fingers Crossed for good news.
    What do we do when we fall? We get up, dust ourselves off and start walking in the right direction again. Perhaps when we fall, it is easy to forget there are people along the way who help us stand and walk with us as we get back on track.
    • shaggydoo
    • By shaggydoo 14th Oct 19, 11:57 AM
    • 8,115 Posts
    • 59,873 Thanks
    shaggydoo
    Annie I wish you a speedy recovery x
    Well what a lot we are,,,,
    Seems nearly all of us have a great deal of rubbish to sort out at the moment,
    I went to BF ,, didnít go very well, had a blazing row with him , the lying cheat still didnít admit his two timing , so Iíd never be able to trust him , I was like a mad woman , too much wine and said a lot of things I should have not said , but in a funny way I feel relieved,
    Iím not drinking today , I need to be nice to me and get on with my life !
    Thank you all for listening x
    Originally posted by loveasale

    Yay well done
    What do we do when we fall? We get up, dust ourselves off and start walking in the right direction again. Perhaps when we fall, it is easy to forget there are people along the way who help us stand and walk with us as we get back on track.
    • shaggydoo
    • By shaggydoo 14th Oct 19, 12:01 PM
    • 8,115 Posts
    • 59,873 Thanks
    shaggydoo
    School Night Challenge 13th October to 17th October
    LoveASale 1/TF
    Mara 1/5

    Shaggy /4

    Anybody else?
    Last edited by shaggydoo; 16-10-2019 at 4:15 PM.
    What do we do when we fall? We get up, dust ourselves off and start walking in the right direction again. Perhaps when we fall, it is easy to forget there are people along the way who help us stand and walk with us as we get back on track.
    • shaggydoo
    • By shaggydoo 14th Oct 19, 12:03 PM
    • 8,115 Posts
    • 59,873 Thanks
    shaggydoo
    Xmas Weight Loss Challenge
    Arsenal 2/10

    Honey Bear /14

    LoveASale 4/14

    Maggie /14

    Marra 1/5

    Shaggy 2/14

    Sukey 1/5

    Anybody Else?
    What do we do when we fall? We get up, dust ourselves off and start walking in the right direction again. Perhaps when we fall, it is easy to forget there are people along the way who help us stand and walk with us as we get back on track.
    • shaggydoo
    • By shaggydoo 14th Oct 19, 12:06 PM
    • 8,115 Posts
    • 59,873 Thanks
    shaggydoo
    Monthly Challenge : October 2019
    October 2019


    = 7 Days

    = 14 Days

    = 21 Days


    = 28 Days


    = 31 Days

    = Target Reached
    = Target Beaten





    Annie 10/18
    Arkers 10/TF
    ArsenalBarnie 7/15
    Barney 11/26
    CathyBird 13/21

    Cuppa /17
    Honey Bear 14/31
    LoveASale 9/20

    LupusLou 1/31

    MaggieM /10

    Maman 6/10
    Marahouti 9/21

    Polly 2/TF
    Pricey 7/23
    Season of Mist 13/30

    SlowDown /24
    Shaggydoo 7/21

    Sukeyboo 6/12

    WannaBeeFree /10



    Please let me know if I've made a mistake!

    Everyone Welcome Anytime of the Month!
    Last edited by shaggydoo; 16-10-2019 at 4:17 PM.
    What do we do when we fall? We get up, dust ourselves off and start walking in the right direction again. Perhaps when we fall, it is easy to forget there are people along the way who help us stand and walk with us as we get back on track.
    • Arkers
    • By Arkers 14th Oct 19, 1:50 PM
    • 974 Posts
    • 7,444 Thanks
    Arkers
    Good morning everyone,
    11 please Shaggy
    Arkers x
    • Wanna Bee Free
    • By Wanna Bee Free 14th Oct 19, 3:31 PM
    • 1,461 Posts
    • 13,214 Thanks
    Wanna Bee Free
    Off the starting blocks with 1/10 please Shaggy. I am planning the rest in a mad dash from 22nd after my hols are over.

    Loveasale, glad you feel relieved now.
    November 13th 48 days remaining
    Save 12K in 2019 #12 - £8,250/£12,000
    Cutting Down Alcohol: 82/150
    N6|O9|S5|A7|J3|J5|M10|A13|M10|F6|J8
    2018:86|2017:106|2016:83
    • Barny1979
    • By Barny1979 14th Oct 19, 5:53 PM
    • 5,269 Posts
    • 51,827 Thanks
    Barny1979
    12/26 AFDs today
    2013 - 313 AFDs, 2014 - 289 AFDs, 2015 - 321 AFDs, 2016 - 276 AFDs, 2017 - 276 AFDs, 2018 - 240 AFDs 2019 - 237 AFDs up to end of October
    MFW Challenge 2019 - £1,272.46/£1809
    • loveasale
    • By loveasale 14th Oct 19, 6:15 PM
    • 534 Posts
    • 3,540 Thanks
    loveasale
    Thank you all for support,,,
    Today I’ve felt very low and remorseful, I really think ,,, er actually I know I have a huge drink problem,
    My marriage failed , and my drinking was one of the reasons , now I’ve lost the man who I thought I’d be with for the rest of life , and again my drinking although not the main reason has been a part of my ex BF going off me and doing what he did, funny he still not owned up , and looking at the texts ironically he and his FBuddy only meet up when drunk ,,,,,,,,!
    I’m considering actually going to AA now !
    I’m in bits today
    10/20 2 SNC
    I will never be rich but I'm happy
    • maman
    • By maman 14th Oct 19, 10:08 PM
    • 20,867 Posts
    • 123,730 Thanks
    maman
    Sorry to hear your news love a sale . I'm not sorry it's done but that it's left you feeling down. Well done on your 10 days so far. That's something you can control.

    7/10 AFDs please Shaggy .
    • Barny1979
    • By Barny1979 15th Oct 19, 8:04 AM
    • 5,269 Posts
    • 51,827 Thanks
    Barny1979
    13/26 AFDs today
    2013 - 313 AFDs, 2014 - 289 AFDs, 2015 - 321 AFDs, 2016 - 276 AFDs, 2017 - 276 AFDs, 2018 - 240 AFDs 2019 - 237 AFDs up to end of October
    MFW Challenge 2019 - £1,272.46/£1809
    • Arkers
    • By Arkers 15th Oct 19, 8:06 AM
    • 974 Posts
    • 7,444 Thanks
    Arkers
    Good morning everyone,
    12 please Shaggy
    Arkers x
    • marahouti
    • By marahouti 15th Oct 19, 8:18 AM
    • 198 Posts
    • 1,492 Thanks
    marahouti
    Good morning everyone. 10/21 and 2/5 SNC please Shaggy. Thank you. X
    • cathybird
    • By cathybird 15th Oct 19, 9:07 AM
    • 4,308 Posts
    • 17,907 Thanks
    cathybird
    Morning all, 14/21 for me, too fatigued from travelling to be out on the town.
    15 in Save 12K: £9,289.12/£12K. NNSDs: 7/10 Tilly: £5,011.42
    November AFDs: 13/21 2019 AFDs: 271/260 2018: 303/260
    • Honey Bear
    • By Honey Bear 15th Oct 19, 9:22 AM
    • 5,989 Posts
    • 57,886 Thanks
    Honey Bear
    Love a Sale, it sounds as though you're feeling very down, and I'm sorry about that. It always happens after a heavy drinking session so it was to be expected, but the relationship ending was probably always going to happen after you realised he was playing away. It's sad it ended on a bad note, but these things happen when two unfortunate sets of circumstances collide, booze and unfaithfulness in this case. It's over, the potential of a shared future isn't there any more and it's time to take stock and re-invent yourself.

    You may decide you want to go on as you are, in which case you don't need to do anything.

    Alternatively, you may decide that booze and you have a problematic relationship and scary though that realisation might be, it is something that you can change. The important thing is that whatever way you decide to change it, you need to choose a way of doing it that suits you. In the first instance it might be worth visiting your GP to discuss what support there is locally.

    It may be AA, it could be Soberistas https://soberistas.com/ it could be any one of a number of options including this thread. It really, really helped, and gave me a trusted group of people who were all dealing with booze for one reason or another. I found it hugely helpful because it was totally anonymous and everyone had a different take on the issue of booze. They're all valid. I also used Belle's 100 Day Challenge and it worked brilliantly for me. There may be a small cost with all of them after an ititial free trial - it's peanuts compared to what booze has been costing you.

    And, given this is a money saving website, that's where I'd start. Can you work out how much you've spent on booze in the last month, and the last year? Once you've done that you can't forget that figure, and it's another motivator. On it's own it probably isn't enough to stop you from giving in to temptation, but every little helps while you're going through the transition from being someone who thinks they may be drinking too much, to being someone who doesn't even think about booze any more.

    I love reading, so I read sober blogs, and books by women who had issues with alcohol and decided to tackle them. I was interested in their stories, and reading them helped me but if you don't enjoy reading then it won't be helpful.

    It's the biggest single thing I've ever done and honestly, the best and I can't recommend it enough. I'm now at the stage where I forget people behave badly when they've had a few drinks sometimes, and just get puzzled when they kick off during an evening out. I forget to have my Becks Blue every evening with my meal because I just don't think about it any more. It's a huge relief and a thousand times easier than having the 'One won't hurt' conversation in my head every single day. It's just easier being a non-drinker and while I might occasionally think it would be nice to have a glass of red wine, I don't miss it.

    I wish you the best of luck with whatever you decide to do. We can't undo the past, but we can build ourselves a new future.

    15/31 please, Shaggy.
    Last edited by Honey Bear; 15-10-2019 at 9:30 AM.
    Keeping it AF
    • Season of Mist
    • By Season of Mist 15th Oct 19, 9:27 AM
    • 86 Posts
    • 668 Thanks
    Season of Mist
    loveasale, I have not posted before about your BF trouble as I am definitely not in a position to comment or offer advice, having said that your post does read as though you are looking to place some of the blame for what has happened on yourself. I am not sure that is either being fair to yourself or particularly healthy. All I can say is that I am sure, when he made the choices he did, that your drinking didn’t feature in his thinking at all, one way or another. The sort of choices he made are motivated by all sorts of impulses, mostly very selfish and ego-centric, and your drinking really just wouldn’t have been a factor, so trust me, there is not any mileage in starting to blame your behaviour around drink.

    If you can use this episode as a personal motivation for drinking less then that’s great, but he alone is responsible for the choices he made, not you.

    Sorry don’t mean to come across as though I have all the answers, I really don’t, but trying to link your drinking to his behaviour in this case is just not going to be healthy.

    Your total of 10/14 is however very positive and that is something totally within your control.
    • PriceySOS
    • By PriceySOS 15th Oct 19, 10:30 AM
    • 647 Posts
    • 5,228 Thanks
    PriceySOS
    11 please, thanks xx
    • maman
    • By maman 15th Oct 19, 11:32 AM
    • 20,867 Posts
    • 123,730 Thanks
    maman
    No plans to drink today. I'll be out and driving tonight and tomorrow night so don't even think about it. And it's a very long time since I considered wasting an AF day by having a nightcap when I get home.

    8/10 AFDs please Shaggy
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