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  • FIRST POST
    • Waves and Smiles
    • By Waves and Smiles 17th Mar 16, 5:23 PM
    • 5,231Posts
    • 22,475Thanks
    Waves and Smiles
    Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3
    • #1
    • 17th Mar 16, 5:23 PM
    Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3 17th Mar 16 at 5:23 PM
    This thread is a continuation of The Mental Health thread “Here we can all be heard for a little while Part 2”. The previous thread can be found here-

    http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5320917&page=501

    I started the original thread when I was lonely and suffering with mental health issues and was lucky to find a wonderful group of amazing new friends who now mean the world to me. My name was Worried and Scared back then but with the help of everyone here I became Waves and Smiles. This thread is no longer just about me, it is about all of us and for anyone who needs mental health support, their carers and anyone who is interested in learning more. Sometimes we speak seriously, sometimes we offer gentle advice and a lot of the time we laugh together. Sometimes I write mini-novels about my experiences of living with complex mental illness. What is important is everyone here is there for each other. New posters are welcome to join in, or just lurk (we call them humming birds because they hover!) if they would prefer. This is a place without judgement or pressure, and a safe place for everyone. We try to keep abbreviations to a minimum but if there are some that you do not understand please ask.

    Sir Pugliet is our Good Mental Health pug! You may notice that he is mentioned from time to time, he is a little cuddly pug toy that was sent to me by a friend on the thread. He is something of a celebrity now!


    Hugs and warm handshakes, or finger squishes, whichever you prefer.

    Also, please take a look at the following links which offer great advice written by the lovely people at MSE!

    http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/news/family/2016/03/martin-lewis-launches-new-money--mental-health-policy-institute

    http://blog.moneysavingexpert.com/2016/05/16/the-money-and-mental-health-policy-institute-whatll-it-really-do

    http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/credit-cards/mental-health-guide
    Last edited by Waves and Smiles; 17-05-2016 at 10:29 AM.
    Until one has loved an animal a part of one's soul remains unawakened - Anatole France

    If I knew that the world would end tomorrow, I would still plant apple trees today - Martin Luther King
Page 562
    • Joanthebone
    • By Joanthebone 1st Oct 19, 9:54 PM
    • 262 Posts
    • 770 Thanks
    Joanthebone
    Thank you for the suggestion of online therapy! I have never heard of such a thing, and it might well suit me. I will look into that.

    I am not having reconstruction. It would have meant having further surgery which I was not prepared to do. A silicone implant needs replacing every 10 -15 years and I did not like the idea of surgery for a perky boob in my eighties! I would also have had to have surgery to reduce my real boob to make it match the silicone implant
    • jobbingmusician
    • By jobbingmusician 1st Oct 19, 11:39 PM
    • 19,668 Posts
    • 20,493 Thanks
    jobbingmusician
    Yes, I think I wouldn't have reconstruction either. I've seen lovely pictures of women being proud of their bodies with one or no breasts, and would try to be like them xxx
    I'm the Board Guide on the Matched Betting; Referrers and Jobseeking & Training boards. I'm a volunteer to help the boards run smoothly, and I can move and merge posts there. Board guides are not moderators and don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com (it's not part of my role to deal with this). Any views are mine and not the official line of MoneySavingExpert.com.

    The good folk of the matched betting board are now (I hope!) supporting Macmillan, in memory of Fifigrace. Visit
    https://www.gofundme.com/running-the-leeds-10k-for-macmillan
    • surveyqueenuk
    • By surveyqueenuk 2nd Oct 19, 1:55 AM
    • 607 Posts
    • 2,294 Thanks
    surveyqueenuk
    Joan, I am also guilty of thinking to myself 'Why am I getting so upset, plenty of people go through far worse things'. But someone once told me that you can drown in one metre of water just as easily as you would drown in one hundred metres of water.

    Yes, you might be 'well' now but beating cancer doesn't involve simply getting shut of a lump. There's all the fear and worry, the upheaval, the lasting effects of all the treatment, the stark reminder of your own mortality, those bloody adverts telling you that you must be a FIGHTER and a SURVIVOR when in reality all you probably want to do is curl up into a ball and cry your eyes out and more besides. You don't get over all that by simply having the offending body part removed do you? In fact, it creates a new set of problems.

    So please be kind to yourself and accept that you have the right to feel upset even though you are 'cured'. You've had so many changes over the past couple of years, both good and bad, you can't process it all in the drop of a hat. Always remember you can post here whenever you like and nobody will ever think you are 'moaning' or 'repeating yourself' (they are my particular worries when talking about my problems!).

    My warmest wishes to all and if TorryQuine happens to be reading, I hope you are doing well.
    • dekaspace
    • By dekaspace 8th Oct 19, 11:08 AM
    • 5,151 Posts
    • 4,890 Thanks
    dekaspace
    Come down with the flu, slept 18 hours Friday, was in such a daze last night I didn't sleep till near 3am, then had feverish dreams all night was delirious enough to hear my voice and banging for about 20 minutes, turns out work had sent someone round worried as I hadn't phoned in sick and wasn't answering phone.

    Good that work did that but I feel guilty, I have a very dizzy head, and heavy nose today.
    • Joanthebone
    • By Joanthebone 9th Oct 19, 7:10 PM
    • 262 Posts
    • 770 Thanks
    Joanthebone
    Thank you surveyqueenuk for your lovely, lovely post. You hit the nail on the head! Beautifully put, it did make me cry, but in a very good way!


    Its so good to be able to come on here.


    A wonky hug to anyone who wants one!
    • onomatopoeia99
    • By onomatopoeia99 19th Oct 19, 3:43 PM
    • 5,922 Posts
    • 13,700 Thanks
    onomatopoeia99
    My appointment was yesterday and I finally have my diagnosis, which is as I expected relapsing remitting MS. It is such a relief to finally know, the limbo is ended and I feel like I can get on with my life at last.

    Hopefully the anxiety will abate now and I will be able to go back to work soon.
    INTP, nerd, libertarian and scifi geek. Home is where my books are.

    5.2kWp system, SE facing, >1% shading, installed March 2019.
    • mellymoo74
    • By mellymoo74 19th Oct 19, 3:49 PM
    • 6,158 Posts
    • 14,443 Thanks
    mellymoo74
    My appointment was yesterday and I finally have my diagnosis, which is as I expected relapsing remitting MS. It is such a relief to finally know, the limbo is ended and I feel like I can get on with my life at last.

    Hopefully the anxiety will abate now and I will be able to go back to work soon.
    Originally posted by onomatopoeia99

    Pleased you can finally make plans Ono
    Was thinking of you the other day and wondering when it was due
    • jobbingmusician
    • By jobbingmusician 20th Oct 19, 10:16 AM
    • 19,668 Posts
    • 20,493 Thanks
    jobbingmusician
    Oh ono, I am sorry about your diagnosis but I think I feel a bit like you do - I am sooo happy you have a diagnosis at last! Hopefully it will be very slow and very remitting xxxxx
    I'm the Board Guide on the Matched Betting; Referrers and Jobseeking & Training boards. I'm a volunteer to help the boards run smoothly, and I can move and merge posts there. Board guides are not moderators and don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com (it's not part of my role to deal with this). Any views are mine and not the official line of MoneySavingExpert.com.

    The good folk of the matched betting board are now (I hope!) supporting Macmillan, in memory of Fifigrace. Visit
    https://www.gofundme.com/running-the-leeds-10k-for-macmillan
    • calleyw
    • By calleyw 25th Oct 19, 10:44 AM
    • 9,228 Posts
    • 17,205 Thanks
    calleyw
    Morning my lovelies,


    Hugs and squishes and handshakes all round.


    Ono, sorry to hear the diagnose but glad you have one so you can start to move on with your life rather than stay in limbo.


    Not in a good place at the moment mentally. House is a tip and I don't mean just untidy. Its cluttered and needs redecorating from top to bottom and new floor coverings. I know its not all real. but I look at peoples houses on my fb book groups it makes me feel worse. All white but they have 10 dogs and 20 children and it all stays clean!!!! Between the dog and my partner I don't have a hope in hell.


    Got to go out this evening. At the moment don't feel like it. But have to force myself as it was 40 a ticket!!!!


    Everyone take care.


    Yours


    Calley x
    Hope for everything and expect nothing!!!

    Good enough is almost always good enough -Prof Barry Schwartz

    If it scares you, it might be a good thing to try -Seth Godin
    • elsien
    • By elsien 25th Oct 19, 7:44 PM
    • 20,087 Posts
    • 51,117 Thanks
    elsien
    The FB people are telling porkies, Calley. Or posting carefully "curated" images to show themselves and their families in the best possible light.

    My house meanwhile:
    20 year old carpets that stink of Gitdog.
    Missing Wallpaper and plaster by the front door, courtesy of Gitdog. Been like that a couple of years now.
    A fine collection of objects on the chairs and dining room table that I've walked in and "temporarily" plonked.

    I suspect you and I aren't that unusual. We just don't make it as far as Facebook.

    Hope you have a good night out - it'll be worth it when you get there.
    Last edited by elsien; 25-10-2019 at 8:11 PM.
    All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

    Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.
    • onomatopoeia99
    • By onomatopoeia99 25th Oct 19, 8:06 PM
    • 5,922 Posts
    • 13,700 Thanks
    onomatopoeia99
    I know its not all real. but I look at peoples houses on my fb book groups it makes me feel worse. All white but they have 10 dogs and 20 children and it all stays clean!!!! Between the dog and my partner I don't have a hope in hell.
    Originally posted by calleyw
    Many people treat facebook as self-promotion, so you only get a very distorted version of the truth, with everything perfect, everything always positive. The teacher of our Italian class admits she does this, presents an idealised version of the life of her family, and said all her friends do the same.

    I don't, and I just ignore posts like that (not that many of my friends do it), I know I'm never going to have a tidy home, and I'd rather people thought of me as being kind than good at tidying and dusting...
    INTP, nerd, libertarian and scifi geek. Home is where my books are.

    5.2kWp system, SE facing, >1% shading, installed March 2019.
    • calleyw
    • By calleyw 25th Oct 19, 11:33 PM
    • 9,228 Posts
    • 17,205 Thanks
    calleyw
    The FB people are telling porkies, Calley. Or posting carefully "curated" images to show themselves and their families in the best possible light.

    My house meanwhile:
    20 year old carpets that stink of Gitdog.
    Missing Wallpaper and plaster by the front door, courtesy of Gitdog. Been like that a couple of years now.
    A fine collection of objects on the chairs and dining room table that I've walked in and "temporarily" plonked.

    I suspect you and I aren't that unusual. We just don't make it as far as Facebook.

    Hope you have a good night out - it'll be worth it when you get there.
    Originally posted by elsien

    Elsien,

    Thank you. I do know deep down that the pictures are staged. My carpets are probably the same age. The kitchen and living room have been pooped on by the dog. I will add only when ill. But still want to replace with something that can be bleached if accidents happen.

    Also in the hall way the carpet has been wee'd on by the rabbit and chewed and eaten by the said rabbit.

    I have lost my mojo as AM went away for two weeks at the start of october and I bought lots of stuff to decorate including plasterboard and floor tiles for the porch. Found a leak and then I stopped and have done little else.

    Need to get my mojo back and start to de clutter. Just way to much stuff everywhere.

    Yours

    Calley x
    Last edited by calleyw; 25-10-2019 at 11:45 PM.
    Hope for everything and expect nothing!!!

    Good enough is almost always good enough -Prof Barry Schwartz

    If it scares you, it might be a good thing to try -Seth Godin
    • calleyw
    • By calleyw 25th Oct 19, 11:44 PM
    • 9,228 Posts
    • 17,205 Thanks
    calleyw
    Many people treat facebook as self-promotion, so you only get a very distorted version of the truth, with everything perfect, everything always positive. The teacher of our Italian class admits she does this, presents an idealised version of the life of her family, and said all her friends do the same.

    I don't, and I just ignore posts like that (not that many of my friends do it), I know I'm never going to have a tidy home, and I'd rather people thought of me as being kind than good at tidying and dusting...
    Originally posted by onomatopoeia99
    Ono,

    Hope you are keeping well?

    I do know deep down what you are saying is true. But its hard when you have mud from the dog splattered up the walls. And chunks of plaster missing from around door frames. Stairs and upper landing, master bedroom and box room with no carpet!!! And a million other jobs that need doing. And no one room is finished. I have been here 13 and half years and my bedroom is exactly the same as when I moved in. Well not exactly the ceiling is coming down around the edges now.

    A lot of it is not expensive to do. But when you have no money or lack the skills its hard. And another reason its hard is that I just can't make a decision.

    I have had the gutters cleaned inside and out. And a new down pipe installed. So one job down. Need to put a door handle back on the inner front door. So I can close it properly. I bought curtains over a week ago and I have still not put them up. As well as use the plaster board and floor tiles I bought a few weeks ago.

    At the moment I have lost my mojo and everything is just way to much to hassle to deal with.

    Need a kick up the bum to get going again.

    Everyone take care and hope you get some rest.

    Yours


    Calley x
    Last edited by calleyw; 25-10-2019 at 11:46 PM.
    Hope for everything and expect nothing!!!

    Good enough is almost always good enough -Prof Barry Schwartz

    If it scares you, it might be a good thing to try -Seth Godin
    • little_green
    • By little_green 28th Oct 19, 10:16 PM
    • 420 Posts
    • 1,047 Thanks
    little_green
    checking in... only to this thread but feel like it should be someplace else.
    feeling really crappy recently. always felt lonely but recently its came back with a bite.
    combined with my anxiety, depression & ocd its not fun.
    engaging in unhelpful/indulgent behaviors

    i feel like no one understands. I'm tired of no one understanding
    • jobbingmusician
    • By jobbingmusician 28th Oct 19, 11:09 PM
    • 19,668 Posts
    • 20,493 Thanks
    jobbingmusician
    little_green, you've come to the right place. I think lots of us on here understand EXACTLY how that feels. Squishes! I'm off to bed now but you have joined a community of support, here - let that warm you xxxx
    I'm the Board Guide on the Matched Betting; Referrers and Jobseeking & Training boards. I'm a volunteer to help the boards run smoothly, and I can move and merge posts there. Board guides are not moderators and don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com (it's not part of my role to deal with this). Any views are mine and not the official line of MoneySavingExpert.com.

    The good folk of the matched betting board are now (I hope!) supporting Macmillan, in memory of Fifigrace. Visit
    https://www.gofundme.com/running-the-leeds-10k-for-macmillan
    • little_green
    • By little_green 29th Oct 19, 1:08 PM
    • 420 Posts
    • 1,047 Thanks
    little_green
    little_green, you've come to the right place. I think lots of us on here understand EXACTLY how that feels. Squishes! I'm off to bed now but you have joined a community of support, here - let that warm you xxxx
    Originally posted by jobbingmusician
    thank you much appreciated.
    I don't know why I feel like this that's what's frustrating.
    • calleyw
    • By calleyw 1st Nov 19, 11:07 PM
    • 9,228 Posts
    • 17,205 Thanks
    calleyw
    Evening everyone,


    Hugs, handshakes, squishes all round.


    Looks like I don't have sleep apena but dr's surgery rang me and made appointment to see them. Not sure will ever get to the bottom of my tiredness!!!


    Is this strange or is it just me. I am not friends with any of my neighbours. But will chat when need to. My next door neighbour of 13 and half years. Put her house up for sale with no sign up. I guessed it when I over heard her talking to some people in the garden about enclosed back garden etc. And had seen stuff leaving the house. I looked on right move and yes it had been sold. Well today came home to find I have new neighbours. Not a word or even note to say I am leaving and you will have new neighbours. I don't really care but find it strange that not a word. Or maybe thats just me.


    Hope everyone gets some rest.


    Take care


    Yours


    Calley x
    Hope for everything and expect nothing!!!

    Good enough is almost always good enough -Prof Barry Schwartz

    If it scares you, it might be a good thing to try -Seth Godin
    • onomatopoeia99
    • By onomatopoeia99 2nd Nov 19, 1:38 PM
    • 5,922 Posts
    • 13,700 Thanks
    onomatopoeia99
    I chat to my neighbours when I see them, but that's not very often at all. I got new neighbours on one side a couple of years back and I didn't even realise to start with

    If I were moving I'd not go out of my way to tell my neighbours. I'd mention it if I saw them and we were chatting, but otherwise not.
    INTP, nerd, libertarian and scifi geek. Home is where my books are.

    5.2kWp system, SE facing, >1% shading, installed March 2019.
    • calleyw
    • By calleyw 2nd Nov 19, 2:12 PM
    • 9,228 Posts
    • 17,205 Thanks
    calleyw
    If I were moving I'd not go out of my way to tell my neighbours. I'd mention it if I saw them and we were chatting, but otherwise not.
    Originally posted by onomatopoeia99
    Most people have a for sale/rent sign in the garden so you become aware of it and know its going to happen. But she did not.

    As I said Ono, I was not expecting them to make an extra special effort. But we have seen them over the last few months in passing, like you do when you leave the house. But not a word. She was a single woman with grown up children. So thought she would have given us a heads up as its now a family with 3 children under 18. So sure there is going to be some more noise.


    I would have but thats just me.



    Yours


    Calley x
    Hope for everything and expect nothing!!!

    Good enough is almost always good enough -Prof Barry Schwartz

    If it scares you, it might be a good thing to try -Seth Godin
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