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  • FIRST POST
    • bflare
    • By bflare 9th Oct 19, 11:23 AM
    • 299Posts
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    bflare
    At what age can a child stay home all day while parent is at work?
    • #1
    • 9th Oct 19, 11:23 AM
    At what age can a child stay home all day while parent is at work? 9th Oct 19 at 11:23 AM
    I do not think that there is a definite law for this. However, it appears that a child over 12 is said to be ok by themselves for a few hours. Would you say a responsible 12 year who is 13 next April would be ok to be left all day while his parent was at work?
Page 2
    • Savvy_Sue
    • By Savvy_Sue 10th Oct 19, 1:31 AM
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    Savvy_Sue
    I'd try to break it up for him, if you can.

    For example, I had different holidays to my siblings once I was at secondary school, so during the holidays when I was 'home alone' mum would often get me to go and meet her for lunch to break the day up (and check up on me). it was a journey I was comfortable and familiar with.
    Still knitting!
    Completed: TWO adult cardigans, 3 baby jumpers, 3 shawls, 1 sweat band, 3 pairs baby bootees, 2 sets of handwarmers, 1 Wise Man Knitivity figure + 1 sheep, 2 pairs socks, 3 balaclavas, multiple hats and poppies, 3 peony flowers, 4 butterflies ...
    Current projects: pink balaclava (for myself), seaman's hat, about to start another cardigan!
    • mark5
    • By mark5 10th Oct 19, 9:55 AM
    • 1,244 Posts
    • 847 Thanks
    mark5
    I wouldnít trust a girl anymore than a boy, they sometimes come across as more mature on the surface but underneath seem to have the same child like tendencies.
    In my limited experience of my kids and partners kids the girls are more likely to not be where they say they are, come home later than allowed , go places you tell them they cant go.

    I used to be left alone during the day from about age 11, I think you tend to know when your kids are ready and would probably gradually increase the time you leave them for.
    • trailingspouse
    • By trailingspouse 10th Oct 19, 12:56 PM
    • 3,794 Posts
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    trailingspouse
    You need to set ground rules (maybe - not allowed to go out, no friends round).



    And you also need to go through a lot of 'what if' scenarios. What if a stranger came to the door? What if there was a fire (or even just what if the smoke detector went off). What if they started to feel poorly. What if the electric went off. Etc etc etc. You need to give them the tools they need to feel confident. So for example, tell them it's OK to ignore the door bell if they don't know who's at the door, tell them who to call (you, their other parent, a neighbour) if they don't feel well, and so on.



    If a child lacks confidence it's often simply because they don't know what's expected of them - so tell them what's expected of them. It also helps if they know exactly what time you'll be back and what you will do if you're going to be later than planned.


    It's all part of growing up!!
    • suejb2
    • By suejb2 10th Oct 19, 1:51 PM
    • 1,607 Posts
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    suejb2
    Home alone
    a free
    An underage party. Short for "parent free." Typically held in a kids house when their parents are out of town.


    Itís not your son and his mates you should worry about. Itís the others that hear about it. Tell him not to broadcast it.
    Life is like a bath, the longer you are in it the more wrinkly you become.
    • Drawingaline
    • By Drawingaline 10th Oct 19, 5:01 PM
    • 883 Posts
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    Drawingaline
    It's child dependant. My 10yr old I won't leave alone at all. And probably won't for a while yet. However my older two were left alone for inset days from year 6. But I work 9-3, so not into the evening. My daughter has been in charge of her two youngest brothers for part of the summer holidays since age 14. She gets paid, and I try and take at least half of them off. My older son comes to work with me and earns money.

    I work locally and am always only about 15min drive away max. My friend lives 10 doors down and my parents are also local (but aging and getting less able to have the little two on a regular basis).

    It's this, or I don't work and then we can't eat! Before this my parents had them, but as mentioned, are less able to without it impacting their health.
    • lincroft1710
    • By lincroft1710 10th Oct 19, 5:48 PM
    • 12,226 Posts
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    lincroft1710
    How times have changed!

    Back in the 1950s/60s most children aged 6/7 and above walked to and from school (and from 10/11 also cycled) on their own or perhaps with classmates. Often about a mile (in my own case) and we are talking urban environment and on pavements alongside A roads.
    • Spendless
    • By Spendless 11th Oct 19, 6:59 PM
    • 20,569 Posts
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    Spendless
    When mine were younger (they're now 19 & 16) there was no choice. Childcare where I live stopped after age 11 (ie non from age 12+ s). There were sports or dance/drama holiday clubs. They ran less than a full time day eg they were often 9-10 till 2-3pm and required an adult to sign them in and out, so no chance of telling child to make their own way there and back either if you were at work outside of these times.

    As I was well aware of this situation years in advance, I had to make sure mine were ok by this stage to leave.
    • maman
    • By maman 11th Oct 19, 7:47 PM
    • 20,694 Posts
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    maman
    How times have changed!

    Back in the 1950s/60s most children aged 6/7 and above walked to and from school (and from 10/11 also cycled) on their own or perhaps with classmates. Often about a mile (in my own case) and we are talking urban environment and on pavements alongside A roads.
    Originally posted by lincroft1710
    You're right, times have changed.

    Part of the problem is government policy. Many children don't go to local schools any more because of the policy of parental preference. And the cost of housing means that far more children have both parents (or a single parent) working full time and maybe they've 'got on their bikes' and work far away from family support and also grandparents maybe are working longer and can't help.
    • Ms Chocaholic
    • By Ms Chocaholic 11th Oct 19, 7:54 PM
    • 10,557 Posts
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    Ms Chocaholic
    Are there any holiday clubs that you could use for a couple of the days?
    Thrifty Till 50 Then Spend Till The End

    You can please some of the people some of the time, all of the people some of the time, some of the people all of the time but you can never please all of the people all of the time
    • badmemory
    • By badmemory 13th Oct 19, 12:32 PM
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    • 4,311 Thanks
    badmemory
    I was told (about 30 years ago) by a policeman that legally the age is/was 18. When I said but you can be married at 16. He agreed, but said if something went wrong with an under 18 who was alone, it was possible that the parent could be held responsible.
    • Savvy_Sue
    • By Savvy_Sue 13th Oct 19, 1:02 PM
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    Savvy_Sue
    I was told (about 30 years ago) by a policeman that legally the age is/was 18. When I said but you can be married at 16. He agreed, but said if something went wrong with an under 18 who was alone, it was possible that the parent could be held responsible.
    Originally posted by badmemory
    Unlikely to happen with a 16 year old, but that's the situation. You can leave a child 'home alone' at any age, and if nothing goes wrong, no laws have been broken.

    If something goes wrong, brown stuff should hit rotating blades fast.

    The age at which the likelihood of things going wrong becomes negligible varies and it's your call.
    Still knitting!
    Completed: TWO adult cardigans, 3 baby jumpers, 3 shawls, 1 sweat band, 3 pairs baby bootees, 2 sets of handwarmers, 1 Wise Man Knitivity figure + 1 sheep, 2 pairs socks, 3 balaclavas, multiple hats and poppies, 3 peony flowers, 4 butterflies ...
    Current projects: pink balaclava (for myself), seaman's hat, about to start another cardigan!
    • General Grant
    • By General Grant 13th Oct 19, 1:16 PM
    • 1,171 Posts
    • 1,079 Thanks
    General Grant
    I was told (about 30 years ago) by a policeman that legally the age is/was 18. When I said but you can be married at 16. He agreed, but said if something went wrong with an under 18 who was alone, it was possible that the parent could be held responsible.
    Originally posted by badmemory

    Well if a 35-y-o was alone in a house and "something went wrong" the home owners could be held responsible if their action/inaction had led to the situation arising.

    But always trust a policeman.
    • markoo
    • By markoo 14th Oct 19, 7:06 AM
    • 6 Posts
    • 0 Thanks
    markoo
    would say that at 14 you can live your children alone at home
    I try and state simple facts in a nice way.
    • jackomdj
    • By jackomdj 14th Oct 19, 4:03 PM
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    jackomdj
    For me it was when they started secondary school for a whole work day. Before that I would leave them when I went shopping, when they were nearing that age. The problem is the holiday clubs around our wY were for primary age only.

    I would try to ensure they were alone for a day, then have a day off, alone for a day, go to a friends etc so they didn't have too many consecutive days alone.

    How our life has changed, this year our 14 year old was at the holiday club for six full days as a volunteer helper (all part of her long term plan, she does rookie life guarding there, just over a year until she is 16 and does her proper life guarding course, then she will hopefully get paid work at the centre as they know her well)
    • eamon
    • By eamon 14th Oct 19, 7:09 PM
    • 1,887 Posts
    • 1,335 Thanks
    eamon
    I concur that expectations of what children are capable of doing has changed over the years. I think a lot depends on what a parent has their children doing once they are out of the toddler stage. I for one can remember helping my mum to make the beds and thats apart from setting the table, clearing the table, washing & drying up. All part of a functioning home I suppose. To the OP get your child familiar with the needs of yours and his home, make him a vital and important part in how it functions. Does he wash up, cook (within his current ability), clean the bathroom etc. He'll thank you for it later.
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