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  • FIRST POST
    • qwert yuiop
    • By qwert yuiop 9th Sep 19, 7:54 PM
    • 3,141Posts
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    qwert yuiop
    Will witticisms
    • #1
    • 9th Sep 19, 7:54 PM
    Will witticisms 9th Sep 19 at 7:54 PM
    I have to give a funny speech on Friday night and I need a bit of help.

    The last time I did this, it was all brexit jokes, but I don’t want to do that again. A suitably bizarre topic I have in mind is this English bloke who cut off his own penis and left his fortune to Sinn Fein.

    So far I’ve come up with (arf) financial cutbacks, short of funds, at least he had the cojones to do it and where there’s a Willy there’s a way. After gonad this for the last 5 minutes, I seem to be stumped (groan).
    Anyone got any ideas? Suitable for mixed company, in both senses.
    “What means that trump?” Timon of Athens by William Shakespeare
Page 1
    • Artytarty
    • By Artytarty 9th Sep 19, 8:10 PM
    • 2,397 Posts
    • 5,699 Thanks
    Artytarty
    • #2
    • 9th Sep 19, 8:10 PM
    • #2
    • 9th Sep 19, 8:10 PM
    Hold on buddy! It's funny enough but going down the genital humour route rather than wills!
    Splitting heirs?
    If the guy had a fruity name such as John Lemon, he'd likely be bitter about it all,
    I shouldn't take the pith really, but I don't want to be pipped at the post.
    Last edited by Artytarty; 09-09-2019 at 8:13 PM.
    Norn Iron Club member 473
    • qwert yuiop
    • By qwert yuiop 9th Sep 19, 8:48 PM
    • 3,141 Posts
    • 2,256 Thanks
    qwert yuiop
    • #3
    • 9th Sep 19, 8:48 PM
    • #3
    • 9th Sep 19, 8:48 PM
    It’s for an engagement party. The man involved has just inherited a farm. That’s as far as I can go in case he’s a money saver.

    He could even be you.
    “What means that trump?” Timon of Athens by William Shakespeare
    • Artytarty
    • By Artytarty 9th Sep 19, 9:46 PM
    • 2,397 Posts
    • 5,699 Thanks
    Artytarty
    • #4
    • 9th Sep 19, 9:46 PM
    • #4
    • 9th Sep 19, 9:46 PM
    Old Mac- insert name- got left a farm
    Yippee doodah day!
    I'm sure you could work on the lyrics of The farmers in his den, or as I always thought it was called - The farmer wants a wife and insert witty things about the bride and groom to be?
    Oh the wife wants some shoes,,the wife wants more shoes, etc?
    Norn Iron Club member 473
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