MONEY MORAL DILEMMA: Should Grant and Tiffany charge for their wedding?

Grumpysally · 4 July 2007 at 11:24AM

You have a wedding, YOU can afford. If youve got everything you need, why not ask for donations to your favourite charity or one of the 'Oxfam unwrapped' type charities. Anything else I think is plain greedy.

aubergine · 4 July 2007 at 11:26AM

NO, absolutely not. The old adage if you can't afford it don't do it applies here. I certainly wouldn't pay to be an invited guest at a wedding.

Either simplify proceedings or reduce the guest list. If you have all you need say so, leave it to people to decide how they respond to that, most people want to give something and I'm sure many would give cash or vouchers, but make it their decision.

I know weddings can get expensive, but do you really need to pay people to do hair, make up and nails? We used to be quite capable of doing these things ourselves.

irritable · 4 July 2007 at 11:40AM

75 quid a head just to witness a woman change her surname. Presumably they will also have a honeymoon in The Maldives and return in time for the divorce parties, again funded by familty and friends. Even as a hypothasis this is outrageous, surely nobody is sufficiently rude that this dilema is based on fact!!

Primrose · 4 July 2007 at 11:50AM

I think it's awfully bad form to expect guests to pay for attending your wedding. Like another correspondent I think you should have the wedding you can afford and cut your coat according to your cloth. I think I'd be so insulted that I'd probably buy them a wedding present instead of donating money or find some excuse not to attend.

sachalegge · 4 July 2007 at 12:04PM

I think this is an appalling idea. I would happily make a contribution to a charity if the couple requested but not to the cost of a reception.
Why on earth do they need an expensive over the top wedding?

Boonbetty · 4 July 2007 at 12:15PM

They should have the wedding they can afford as to ask people to pay to attend would almost certainly cause offence. No harm in saying they would prefer cash rather than presents, there are polite ways of putting this and people understand that many couples have lived together for a while and don't need toasters etc. It's possible to have a happy day without going overboard and to learn to live within your means is surely an excellent foundation for a happy marriage!

stingyscot · 4 July 2007 at 12:58PM

What an appalling idea! Modern wedding have become an excuse for conspicuous consumption by people who have already been living together, not the ceremony to celebrate that commitment to live life together that it should be. It used to be that the wedding gift helped the newly weds to set up their first home together, whereas nowadays it's used to upgrade equipment. I was asked to buy from a wedding list provided by a couple who each earned far more than me - why should I provide expensive china or glasses that I could never afford for myself, and which they certainly could afford? And then have the expense of the travel, hotel stay, outfit, etc. on top of that.
My wedding was in a registry office, with 4 close friends, and we went for a nice lunch afterwards. A very happy day and we've now been married for over 37 years. An expensive wedding does not guarantee a happy or successful marriage - ask any of the royal family!
[But note my login name :-) ]

teedy23 · 4 July 2007 at 12:59PM

I dont think the couple was asking for £75 exactly were they? I do agree that they really shouldnt be spending that amount if they cant afford to foot the bill. Yes weddings are expensive, or can be, and to set up a honeymoon fund for couples who have all they need is a better option. Wether they spend it all on a honeymoon is up to them. Most weddings are arranged about a year before, so it gives everyone a chance to plan for the expense. I still think that if you have lived together for a while, and decide to get married it should be a less than ostentatious affair, and at your own expense

becsparkel · 4 July 2007 at 1:01PM

Poor Grant and Tiff! I can totally sympathise with your dilemma.

First off to all those people criticising the amount they are spending - they didn't say they couldn't afford the wedding and it's entirely up to them how much they spend.

I went to a wedding once where, instead of a wedding list, the invite said something like "We really appreciate you coming and do not expect a gift, however if you would like to get a gift B&Q vouchers would be greatly appreciated as we are renovating our house"...

So I reckon you could ask ... in a nice way... for "cash donations" rather than a present but don't ask for a fixed amount or say it's to cover the wedding... I don't see why people would have a problem giving a cheque rather than a rubbish toaster that you don't want...

captain_planet · 4 July 2007 at 1:12PM

If someone asked me to pay £75 I would turn up but donate £75 to charity instead, there are people in more need than them that deserve it more, I think it is plain rude!

MONEY MORAL DILEMMA: Should Grant and Tiffany charge for their wedding?

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