Time to turn this around

JonW1984 · 4 July 2018 at 12:06PM

Hi I've enjoyed reading your diary. I am in a similar position, reasonably well paid professional job but with about £16k of debt to get through. Looking forward to following your progress and seeing you smash it!

wishingthemortgaheaway · 4 July 2018 at 1:21PM

Have a look on one of the voucher sites and see if you can get something similar for oodles less money?

Cherryfudge · 4 July 2018 at 4:47PM

wishingthemortgaheaway wrote: »

Have a look on one of the voucher sites and see if you can get something similar for oodles less money?

Great idea

Or if you happen to have a birthday anywhere near, drop that into conversation and perhaps they will take a hint!

FiscalPickle · 4 July 2018 at 5:20PM

wishingthemortgaheaway wrote: »

Have a look on one of the voucher sites and see if you can get something similar for oodles less money?

Thanks Wish, that's a really good suggestion, I've subscribed to a daily deals site for my area and will see what pops up. I'm not holding out much hope for 90% off a spa day though, this place is mega-posh and not really a 'voucher' type of outlet, some of my friends have expensive taste! :rotfl: They must automatically assume I can afford it as well, I also have the highest salary in our circle.

I live in a very expensive area, one of the island Crown Dependencies. So I pay less tax, but outgoings are considerably more expensive than the UK. We don't have an Aldi or Lidl, petrol is dear and utilities are expensive because of monopolies. Possibly this is partly the reason why I got into debt in the first place...

FiscalPickle · 4 July 2018 at 5:25PM

This is weird - at the beginning of my DF journey, my credit score was 996. A few months later, it was down to 984. Now its 972 - surely as the total debt has come down, my lending relationships are longer and I'm making regular payments, it should go up or stay static?? How bizarre. I hope it doesn't take more of a battering, I would very much like to have mortgage one day.

Cherryfudge · 4 July 2018 at 8:22PM

Could it be you are using fewer credit cards perhaps? Or perhaps it's tracking you when you check your score which might count against you if it's more than once in a while. Does seem odd though.

It sounds as though the spa is going to be all or nothing, doesn't it? However, you may be in luck!

FiscalPickle · 10 July 2018 at 1:17PM

After a relatively positive time moving forwards, I've crashed big time. I've started spending money from my current account on meals out and shopping to make me feel better about the situation, which I know is completely counterproductive and will only make things worse. I've also melted the credit card from its icy prison (I put it in the freezer in a tupperware full of water) and spent £95 - I then saw sense and chopped it up.

What prompted this? Mr P filled in his part of the spreadsheet, the situation is much worse than I thought. His debt and mine combined is currently just over £50k. I really don't know what to do, he is completely sticking his head in the sand and seems to think things are fine. If either of us lost our jobs, we would sink in moments. The stress of all of this debt and living payday to payday is starting to make my hair fall out. I want to go to bed, pull up the duvet and never wake up

At this rate, it will be years before we can own a home, his credit score is shot. At this rate, we will never have a child together. What is even the point? I can now see why financial troubles are such a contributor towards the divorce rate. I love him, but I'm just flabbergasted that he's let things get this far, he hasn't even faced up to it himself. The action has all been driven by me. I despair....

Cherryfudge · 10 July 2018 at 2:52PM

It can be really difficult getting someone to take their head out of the sand - possibly why he's let it get so far? Perhaps he's avoiding it because he feels it's too big for him to deal with... some people do just feel nothing can be done about it, others fight their way out of the situation they've ended up in and make good. There are lots of them on these boards.

Your crash is your own way of dealing with the situation and as you can see, it's an emotional blow-out before you take charge and stop yourself, which you've done. More productive in the long term than pretending there's nothing wrong, so perhaps that just proves you need to be taking the lead here, whether he follows or not. It may be that once you start living by a plan, he will watch and learn. Maybe not, but for now it's one of those situations where you need to get yourself in a secure position before you can help him (like they say on flights: put on your own lifejacket before you try to help anyone else).

For now, you both have jobs and you need to hold on to that fact. There is income coming in and you can make a plan to turn this around. If you bump your thread later in the day you'll get more responses
from people who know more than me.

Working_Mum · 10 July 2018 at 3:50PM

Cherry has given some good advice.

I was married to a spendthrift who left me in hideous levels of debt when we divorced - he just put his head in the sand and spent spent spent!!

I wish I could tell me younger self to chart my own course, detach (with love) from his spending behaviours and put the focus on the bit I can control i.e. me and get my fiscal house in order.

You have a lot to be grateful for, you are working and can cover your payments - concentrate on that rather than future catastrophising as this is a road to nowhere.

Stay strong and work that plan you have got going - it WILL pay off and you can share the approach with your husband when he is prepared to listen

((hugs))

WM x

Cherryfudge · 10 July 2018 at 10:46PM

Just bumping this in case anyone can offer more advice please.

Time to turn this around

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