Ex doesn't want CMS involved!!
nanny67
Posts: 1 Newbie
I am the mother of a 15 and 17 yr old who are both in full time education. My ex stopped paying maintenance (£150) last month and says that because he has them 3 nights a week then he shouldn't have to pay anything. I therefore started a case with the CMS and they have assessed him at £424 a month. He has gone bat !!!! crazy and has sent me a flurry of emails and texts over the weekend saying that if I don't close the case he will contact the Court tomorrow and apply for full custody (residence?) which will then prove he is the main carer and I will be stripped of the child benefit and tax credits. I have agreed with him and the CMS that on occasion he has them 4 nights a week but that is only to make up for a previous week when he was away with work and therefore I had them 5 nights. In fact for the month of March i have already had them 20 nights. I don't even want £424!! I'd be happy with £200!
Do you think the threat of Court action is tantamount to blackmail? Should I just close the case for an easy life (and receive no CM but still keep the child benefit, as he proposes) or call his bluff and let him go to court. The girls will not want to choose where they "live" and I don't think it's fair to ask them. They have been with me since 2003 when we divorced. Their school is in my catchment (not his) and they have a complex medical condition which means they go to hospital every 2 months for check ups - he works full time and can't take them (I am disabled through a brain injury and don't work). I am always here for the girls, get them from school, and everything is registered at my address. I don't know what to do or what the Court would say?
Do you think the threat of Court action is tantamount to blackmail? Should I just close the case for an easy life (and receive no CM but still keep the child benefit, as he proposes) or call his bluff and let him go to court. The girls will not want to choose where they "live" and I don't think it's fair to ask them. They have been with me since 2003 when we divorced. Their school is in my catchment (not his) and they have a complex medical condition which means they go to hospital every 2 months for check ups - he works full time and can't take them (I am disabled through a brain injury and don't work). I am always here for the girls, get them from school, and everything is registered at my address. I don't know what to do or what the Court would say?
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Comments
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None of us do, but I can't see them taking them away from you. Let him do his worst, it's his legal bill! He'll find it a lot more costly than paying maintenance!0
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No, nor can it ever be.I am the mother of a 15 and 17 yr old who are both in full time education. My ex stopped paying maintenance (£150) last month and says that because he has them 3 nights a week then he shouldn't have to pay anything. I therefore started a case with the CMS and they have assessed him at £424 a month. He has gone bat !!!! crazy and has sent me a flurry of emails and texts over the weekend saying that if I don't close the case he will contact the Court tomorrow and apply for full custody (residence?) which will then prove he is the main carer and I will be stripped of the child benefit and tax credits. I have agreed with him and the CMS that on occasion he has them 4 nights a week but that is only to make up for a previous week when he was away with work and therefore I had them 5 nights. In fact for the month of March i have already had them 20 nights. I don't even want £424!! I'd be happy with £200!
Do you think the threat of Court action is tantamount to blackmail? Should I just close the case for an easy life (and receive no CM but still keep the child benefit, as he proposes) or call his bluff and let him go to court. The girls will not want to choose where they "live" and I don't think it's fair to ask them. They have been with me since 2003 when we divorced. Their school is in my catchment (not his) and they have a complex medical condition which means they go to hospital every 2 months for check ups - he works full time and can't take them (I am disabled through a brain injury and don't work). I am always here for the girls, get them from school, and everything is registered at my address. I don't know what to do or what the Court would say?0 -
Stick to your guns - he has to pay maintenance for his girls one way or another - he is trying to bully you. Your girls are of an age when their wishes will be tantamount to any decision made upon where they live - and no court will force them to live where they do not want to live.
He is trying to bully you; call his bluff.0 -
There isn't much point in your ex applying for residency as the courts will take the view of your children in mind. No judge is going to tell a 15 year old which parent to live with.
Even Madonna, with all her money and fancy lawyers, couldn't force her 15 year old son to live with her when he didn't want to.
It's not a matter of them being "forced to choose" - they will simply be asked what their views are and this will be taken into account when the judge makes the final decision.
In short, your ex is on a hiding to nothing if he thinks he can force them to live with him.
Don't worry, be happy.0 -
Start keeping a diary of exactly where they stay each night. Ultimately, if he forces the children to make decisions or state opinions to a court it will harm his relationship with them, not yours.0
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