ex-partner and I split up, now claiming single tax credits

Well my ex did have a move out date but the guarantor changed his mind. I phoned both child benefit and tax credits to inform them and they were fine but did admit it is a grey area. For example we both can't wait to live seperatwly but our kids come first and we will both take her to a theme park for her birthday. On weekends I have the kids and I barely see my ex now except on weekdays but I work full-time and like today ex took youngest shopping and I took eldest swimming for few hours. How much should I charge? C.tax = 130, gas/electric/water=150, phone/TV=35, so bills are about 315 a month. Should I charge her about 160 a month?

mynameistallulah wrote: »

It sounds fair to me but it really is up to you. Remember that you also need to consider the child related costs, and how you are going to split them - activities, clothing etc. Maybe you could sit down and work out all your outgoings?

Well she told me that because she is trying to save (they want huge deposit because guarantor is messing her about), therefore I should pay all the child related costs (apart from food+nappies). I'm happy with it, as I've always paid all the bills (apart from food shopping) since we met 7 years ago. I feel that she doesn't really want to pay me anything towards the bills, but she is also aware that it's on thin ground with HMRC if they find out she's getting £500+ a month from the tax payer in tax credits but she's living rent/bill free ? plus she works 30 hours a week and earns £800 a month.

Mojisola wrote: »

That does seem very unfair. If she is saving the bulk of her income towards the move and you can bear the cost, it might be the best thing to stay with the unfairness because it will lead to a quicker settlement.

Has she put on paper how much she will be spending on all the basics after her move? It would be worth doing that so that she doesn't get used to the idea of having so much disposable income.

Yes it does seem a bit unfair, although I have always paid all the bills since day one (apart from shopping), although it was her decision to leave me, despite me doing nothing wrong, just we grew apart and she's changed a lot, wants to go out with her mates, and feels the kids are dragging her down (hence the reason she loves the idea of joint custody and she can let her down at the weekend). I would of not normally gone the route of asking her for any money, but she did have a move in date of end of august but her dad lied to her and messed her about and pulled out of being a guarantor (my ex doesnt get on with her dad's new wife). Her mum and new husband won't sort it out until september as her husband is 'too busy' despite them knowing a move in date end of august, so feel they are messing her about aswell.

The estate agent said if she doesn't have a guarantor they want £4500 deposit. So I feel this is going to get dragged on for a while, because her parents are messing her about for no reason, you would think they would want to help her out! and I think I need to start charging her to live here because we are single now (she posted this on her facebook! etc) and don't want a situation where she is living here for another 6 months rent free...and enjoying the high life at the tax payers expense on the weekends.

Yes I'm also aware that she has a large income now (more than mine), but I've set out a budget so that she spends £500 a month on her living (petrol/food/day to day), £120 on her car loan, and say £200 rent to me?, so that leaves her to save about 500 a month, if this turns out to be long term arrangement, it will still take her quite a while to save the money up to move out. However there is one saving grace, in that she is due compenstation from an accident a while ago, so if that comes through, it will speed up the situation of her moving out although her mum is pressurising her into spending that on a florida holiday she wants to go on with the kids later this year. I think her priorities need to change, as I think a 2 year old is a bit too young to go that far on a plane (but that's a mute point!)

I've made an excel spreadsheet for her as she's never paid any bills before, so that she knows what kind of budget she has when she moves in, as we know the council tax and utility bills from the landlord, it's 550 a month for 3 bed semi, £100 utility bills, £80 council tax, £120 car loan, £30 tv/phone, £200 food shopping, so about £1080 so leaves her about £220 a month spare, but she can do extra hours at the shop as she plans to although that might affect her tax credits. I've agreed to pay for most of the kids costs (school trips/uniforms/shoes/trainers/clothes/anything they want/need)

CKhalvashi wrote: »

The easiest way to get around this one is to write her a letter stating that she can stay in your property for as long as necessary; that way, there's a traceable route around it.

My parents split about 10 years ago, and did this while sale of family home and company shares were bring sorted out; a simple letter to state that the only joint bank account was for mortgage/bills, and that my father could stay living in the property, in exchange for x% of the company. They're still living in the same property, just not as a couple.

It's a legally complicated area, and something in writing is going to help drastically should the need arise.

CK

House is in my name as are all the bills, and she's accepted that she has no claim on the house. We've agreed joint custody, so I will have the kids on friday,saturday,sunday and drop them back on the monday morning. I will also have the little one on the wednesday morning as her mum can't look after her till midday. Do you think I should draw up a letter stating the 'rent' is for bills only ? as I don't want a situation that she has claim to part of the house if she pays rent for x months ? thanks