early 40s and not fabulous at all

plush_2 · 20 September 2017 at 7:06PM

UncannyScot wrote: »

I have also battled with depression and other demons in my life...
For me two things have helped me to combat and defeat them;
regular exercise and a focused, positive attitude.

Thank you!

I have an irrational fear that going to a GP and admitting depression won't actually be good for me. Sort of - if I officially admit that I cannot manage anymore - everything will crumble in my life and there's no way back. I'm also scared that they'll prescribe antidepressants (I hate pills) and that I will end up paying for counselling. I'm not necessarily ashamed to talk to the GP about it, it's just that I always thought I was strong enough to deal with problems myself... with the help of friends, family, healthy eating and so on. I'm probably wrong...

plush_2 · 20 September 2017 at 7:07PM

Scott_Weiland wrote: »

Hi Plush the first thing i would do before anything is two things

1) go see your gp
2) restart yoga

If your having any concerns re your mental health packing in exercise is the worst thing you can do. I won't go into the details here in depth but i have had mental health problems, the best advice i can give is above.

Going to one yoga class pw week will release endorphins and serotonin that will help with your mood. Early on in the year i slipped a disc in my back and jaysus not being able to exercise for me was a nightmare.

Think of it this way if your mood severely crashes what will it impact your family/work/finances etc etc you need to be well if you want to tackle the debt issues.

Thank you. I know dropping yoga was a mistake. Having said that, I was paying too much for it, £13 per session. I can probably find another option that's cheaper.

I just went for a run. I'm not a runner, but I thought it would be an inexpensive way to exercise. Did 3.3 km in 22 minutes, not all is lost. I hope I won't be in pain tomorrow! I'm thinking if I could do 2 runs each week of 5K each, plus one yoga class, that would bring me back to life without breaking the bank.

I'm child-free until later tonight, and also had the entire day off as I had to go to my consulate to renew my passport - I've got dual citizenship). I wish I had more time for myself.. perhaps I can convince my child to run with me, or at least cycle alongside me. Easier said than done!

Off to enter bills in the Spending Tracker. Thanks everyone for the kind words and suggestions!

Scott_Weiland_2 · 20 September 2017 at 7:44PM

plush wrote: »

Thank you. I know dropping yoga was a mistake. Having said that, I was paying too much for it, £13 per session. I can probably find another option that's cheaper.

I just went for a run. I'm not a runner, but I thought it would be an inexpensive way to exercise. Did 3.3 km in 22 minutes, not all is lost. I hope I won't be in pain tomorrow! I'm thinking if I could do 2 runs each week of 5K each, plus one yoga class, that would bring me back to life without breaking the bank.

I'm child-free until later tonight, and also had the entire day off as I had to go to my consulate to renew my passport - I've got dual citizenship). I wish I had more time for myself.. perhaps I can convince my child to run with me, or at least cycle alongside me. Easier said than done!

Off to enter bills in the Spending Tracker. Thanks everyone for the kind words and suggestions!

Do they not doing anything like you know you pay say 50 or 60 pounds and you get 6 classes for the price of 5 etc etc

I can understand your comments totally re gp's and anti depressants, but i would still go chat with your gp and ask for counselling help or other options.

Do not ever pack in the exercise, even if you can you can run a couple of times thats ace.

Scott_Weiland_2 · 20 September 2017 at 7:51PM

Scott_Weiland wrote: »

Do they not doing anything like you know you pay say 50 or 60 pounds and you get 6 classes for the price of 5 etc etc

I can understand your comments totally re gp's and anti depressants, but i would still go chat with your gp and ask for counselling help or other options.

Do not ever pack in the exercise, even if you can you can run a couple of times thats ace.

I found i was at my worst if i didn't exercise and eating healthy is very important to.

plush_2 · 20 September 2017 at 8:09PM

Scott_Weiland wrote: »

Do they not doing anything like you know you pay say 50 or 60 pounds and you get 6 classes for the price of 5 etc etc

I can understand your comments totally re gp's and anti depressants, but i would still go chat with your gp and ask for counselling help or other options.

Do not ever pack in the exercise, even if you can you can run a couple of times thats ace.

Pay as you go is £15, but I was buying 10-pack classes for £130.

It's probably much cheaper to join the local community gym, it's something like £45 per month and there is no annual commitment. It's cheaper than paying £13 per class. I just need to check that they have a yoga class at at a time when I can actually do it (when my child is with my ex, that is).

Scott_Weiland_2 · 20 September 2017 at 8:23PM

I have just changed gyms myself recently

Social media is your friend shop around contact them see whats in your area.

bubblycrazy · 20 September 2017 at 8:31PM

The only thing I can add to the great advice is, don't stop posting! The people who fall off the waggon tend to stop posting for months and then come back and say oops. If you're feeling rubbish then pour it out on here because the support to continue will get you through.
Your SOA is missing quite a few things so if you can get the recommended one to load at some point that will be more accurate.

plush_2 · 20 September 2017 at 10:12PM

@bubblycrazy: thanks.

The SOA website is still down. Google says "This site may be hacked."

My list is complete as far as bills and direct debits go. The rest of it is missing - food, fun, clothes, holidays, gifts and so on. On that - does it make sense to go back and look at past spending? I've installed Spending Tracker and created some categories and will start tracking everyday spending, then review monthly.

Not sure if I need to enter the bills in the tracker app?! I have an Excel spreadsheet for those and I'm good at paying bills, I've never missed a bill. My bills account (Barclays) is always in green, I don't let it go into overdraft. All direct debits and SOs go out between the 26th of the current month and the 3rd of the next month, I made sure of that.

My Halifax account and Barclaycard #2 need budgeting/tracking/cutting down spending.

bubblycrazy · 21 September 2017 at 11:04AM

Yes you need to know what you spend on those things in a full year then divide it by 12. Looking back at previous spends will help give you an accurate figure.

117pauline · 21 September 2017 at 11:29AM

A SOA is simply your work in progress for the first year or so as you find out really what you spend.

You describe your DD account as always in the green so you do have the willpower to get yourself sorted.

When you are feeling ready, take a look back over the credit card statements to work out where the spending occurs. I have found that there tends to be an emotional cause/effect as well.

What do you do for yourself? You mention yoga, running etc but what else gives you pleasure? Magazines? Join the library as most have emagazines as part of their services. Coffee and cake? Perhaps arrange to see friends and family for a walk, cheaper place for coffee etc etc.

Choose one area and focus. And that dreaded C

word is coming up in December so that will affect things too.

Have a look at some of the on-line resources that might help you overcome some of your difficult feelings or at least help you find better ways to cope with them.

I really wish you peace on your journey.
Take care
Pauline

early 40s and not fabulous at all

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