Home Ownership / Partner's Rights

koumas1 wrote: »

Thanks for the majority of the rational answers so far.
I don't want to be deemed/treated/thought of as a lodger, tenant or whatever - I should be a homeowner, Why? You haven't put a penny into the house. we should share things and without my name on the house it just will never feel like it's my home, it will always be hers.
Her point is that if we were both to have rented - we would both have to share the rent cost, the bills etc equally and if we did buy stuff for the place like TV's etc or if we were to do any redecorating or improvements to the place - then again those "upgrades" would be costs we both share and we wouldn't get a share of the landlords place when we left and the TV we buy etc wouldnt be worth a lot if we had to sell it.
The reason I haven't saved is that it didn't feel like this house was going to come anything soon.bull, you haven't saved because you spent it all, there is no reason you couldn't have saved for your future, with you at the helm a house will never come anytime soon as you wont save until its coming soon?? It's took 2 and half years to get to this point since we've been back in the UK and it just didn't feel like it was ever going to happen. I know I would save now and be more careful with money if I were and owner too cus it would be my house and I would want to look after and care for it etc - but as it's hers and just don't see why I should bare all the risk. what risk are you baring? This risk of losing your rent free place?
For those those who think this is a wind up or should be on Jeremy Kyle or something I am sorry and we are both not the stereotypical type of couple one would presume to be on such a show - this is a genuine issue that I am tryical to sensibly resolve - thank you to all who have been so kind to write a reasoned response!!!

You have some very funny ideas on what you are entitled to, however I do very much agree with you that you should not pay out for major upgrades such as new bathroom, however painting a room for example is fairly incidental so is fair enough to split (it adds not real value to a house but makes it nicer for you).


Regarding TV's etc, its fair enough to split them or agree that if one of you buys it it is 'theirs' in the event of a split.


Don't forget you are living rent free, this s a good situation for you, you must have plenty of spare cash you can save so you can either 1; buy into a share of the house in the future or 2; save for your own deposit if you end up splitting up.

I agree with a lot of the others. I'll also share my situation which you may find helpful.

koumas1 wrote: »

In order to help us afford a home we moved in with my partners parents as this was the only way we could realistically save money to find a place.

Generally a good idea to save money and minimise outgoings.

koumas1 wrote: »

I on the other hand like to enjoy life now as well as plan for the future and feel we deserve to enjoy life whilst we can and as a result my savings or contributions towards the house has hardly increased in the past 4 years.

But the previous point won't work if you're not minimising your outgoings. Both of you should have been doing this, not just your partner.

koumas1 wrote: »

My partner's parents have been kind enough to look after us for 2 years but I want a space of our own and a place to call ours

So what have you done about it? Saved little and spent lots by the sound of things.

koumas1 wrote: »

My partner has since purchased a house using the £100k she saved but wouldn't put my name on the house as I haven't been able to contribute anything towards the deposit

Why haven't you contributed towards the house. You've said you want a house of your own to move into but you haven't contributed anything.

koumas1 wrote: »

I want to have my name on the house and I have told her that I do not feel like this house is ours as it is in her name - it's her house

It's her house because she was sensible, scrimped and saved and was able to build up a deposit for it. Again, what did you do towards saving for a house?

koumas1 wrote: »

My partner has asked me to help with paying for some of the work that will need to be done....[but] I don't want to pay anything towards the house

So your partner bought a house that you both share and live in. You couldn't or refused to contribute to the deposit. Now you want to live there without paying anything towards it? If you were my partner and you acted like that, I would get rid of you.

koumas1 wrote: »

My partner has also asked that if I can't pay for refurbishments if I could buy things like the telly or washing machine etc

So your partner has given you an opportunity to contribute towards the house several times (deposit, renovation, appliances) but you don't want to.

koumas1 wrote: »

I have told her that I will pay for things for the house but only if she puts my name on the house, otherwise I think it's unfair for her to expect me to pay for anything as I will have nothing to show for it

But you have nothing to show why you deserve to have your name on the house. You didn't want to or couldn't afford to build a deposit and you've refused to contribute in any way, shape or form.

koumas1 wrote: »

she doesn't feel financially secure with putting my name on the house because my financial spending is more spontaneous than hers and because in the 4 years I haven't been able to make any savings

If you want your name on the house, the mortgage company will re-assess your partner and you. They'll want financial outgoings listed. If there's too much outgoing, then they will refuse. So unless you start saving up, there's no point even trying.

koumas1 wrote: »

if she wants to make lavish upgrades or posh items such as TV's etc she shouldn't expect me to pay for them.

But you've said earlier on that you prefer to enjoy life. I'd argue a TV in this day and age is more necessity than luxury. Luxury would be going for a huge !!! widescreen curved 4K model. Basic would be a bogstandard TV.

koumas1 wrote: »

I'm just splitting half the living costs.

You are essentially a tenant. If you had paid towards the mortgage and then split, I think you would then be entitled to some portion of the house if it is sold (but you would need to double check this).

koumas1 wrote: »

I should be a homeowner

Then you should have contributed to it.

koumas1 wrote: »

The reason I haven't saved is that it didn't feel like this house was going to come anything soon.

But you said at the beginning that you wanted to move out of your partner's parents' house, and that your partner had been saving. Yet you did nothing and now act surprised that you've moved out? Confusing.

My story as promised:

I met my partner a few years ago. After about two years, we decided to get married and look for a house. Date of wedding was fixed first and we worked around everything else.

Unbeknownst to me, my partner's brother was looking for a house for my partner's family (father had died so he was left trying to manage despite being in his early 20s). Partner offered to help him buy a house which meant putting her name on the mortgage even though she wasn't going to contribute in any way. It caused problems in the relationship but was temporary only so things settled.

I bought a house in my name as mortgage advisor said we couldn't buy together as partner had just gone through mortgage application. Partner was initially upset but understood.

Since we've been married and living together, I've paid the mortgage but wife has paid everything else - council tax, utility bills etc. We plan on doing some major work and my partner will be contributing 50-75% of the costs. When her brother's mortgage comes to switching time, she will come off his and come on to mine. But she has earned that by contributing fully to the household. Had we bought the house together, I would have expected my partner to pay her share of the bills and mortgage.

Similarly, if you want to be on your partner's house, you should be expected to contribute towards the mortgage and outgoings. If you're not willing to show commitment yourself, why should your partner do anything?

You are lucky she hasn't just broke up with you. You strike me as selfish, whiny and self entitled. In all those years what did you actually spend your money on whilst she was saving? Clothes, cars, toys ect I find it shocking that she manages to save 100k and you saves zero. You are lucky she actually let's you live rent free and allowed you into her home.