“Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.”

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  • WannabeFree
    WannabeFree Posts: 4,438 Forumite
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    I think I'm still struggling to find a balance on keeping everyone happy. A long night spent thinking about things and I still don't know where I stand.

    I just want the best for everyone, and everyone to be happy. No matter what I do I feel like I'm letting someone down.
    “Once you hit rock bottom, that's where you perfectly stand; That's your chance of restarting, but restarting the way.”
  • missymoo81
    missymoo81 Posts: 7,695 Forumite
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    Hey sugar, long time no see. Im sorry I havent been online, Im just trying to catch up. Sounds like you!!!8217;re having a tough time at the moment. I guess you need to think months from now and what decision you would be happiest with or wish youd made. It is about you. You cant please everyone all the time. Ive tried and failed. But often making yourself happy makes others happy in the process. Much love xx
  • Cherryfudge
    Cherryfudge Posts: 10,037 Forumite
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    WannabeFree wrote: »
    I think I'm still struggling to find a balance on keeping everyone happy. A long night spent thinking about things and I still don't know where I stand.

    I just want the best for everyone, and everyone to be happy. No matter what I do I feel like I'm letting someone down.

    Step back and ask yourself one by one - why is it important to keep this person happy, and what is the potential cost to you and your children.

    Keeping other people happy seems to me to indicate your focus has shifted from what the best course of action is, what is right. Some people are only kept happy if they get what they want not what's best for you - and you don't have a duty to them. Their selfishness is their problem, not yours. Also 'happy' can be a short term thing that doesn't last because it gives rise to long term problems.

    Sleepless nights are horrible. I hope you can have a better sleep tonight. x
    I think a bit of sunshine is good for frugal living. (Cranky40)
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  • earthgirl
    earthgirl Posts: 3,762 Forumite
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    I agree with Cherry and the others and just wanted to wish you well.

    Sometimes writing it down helps. Perhaps a bit simplistic if there are others affected, but I always write with problems down in one half of a page, solutions and possible effects on the other. Often just focusing on the solutions and doing something from that "side" helps me to focus on what I'm trying to achieve.

    Best wishes
    15/5/12 Paid off Mortgage 1 (£220k) Bought Dream House:www: Dec 13 - Mortage 2 -£116,508. 15/7/18 Mortgage Free Again :j

    Progress not Perfection
  • UncannyScot
    UncannyScot Posts: 2,070 Forumite
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    Hey WannabeFree
    Never ever try to please everyone, it just cannot be done...
    Sometimes you just have to stop and say, "NO, ENOUGH!" and take care of you...

    Been in the situation before of always putting others first and was really badly hurt by it, I almost lost all sense of my self IYKWIM

    A lovey Christian girl that I know told me this, "We are all meant to love each other and to treat people as we ourselves would like to treated. Yeah? Well, that doesn't mean I do whatever everyone else wants me to do, it doesn't mean that I let myself be taken for or treated like a mug. Having love and respect for others starts with having love and respect for myself, you know what I mean? There has to be a balance there."

    That has really stuck with me over the years...
    WannabeFree, I just feel that you need to find YOUR balance and have love and respect for yourself.
    I hope I'm making sense here, been away on business and had a really busy couple of days and lots of long distance driving so my old noggin ain't firing on all cylinders atm...
    You know you can always contact me anytime about anything missus
    (((((HUGS)))))
    BUGGRITMILLENIUMHANDANDSHRIMP I TOLD EM! - Foul Ole Ron
    It is important that we know where we come from, because if you do not know where you come from, then you do not know where you are, and if you don't know where you are, then you don't know where you are going. If you don't know where you're going, you're probably going wrong.
    R.I.P. T.P.
  • WannabeFree
    WannabeFree Posts: 4,438 Forumite
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    This isn't going to read how I mean it but I don't care about me really. I just want everyone else to be happy and okay :o

    I really don't think it will ever be how I want it and I think I need to learn to accept that. I do know my priority is the smalls being happy - even if this means me being on a back step. This has always been my priority and always will be obviously.

    Thank you for all taking the time to read my moaning and replying x
    “Once you hit rock bottom, that's where you perfectly stand; That's your chance of restarting, but restarting the way.”
  • jwil
    jwil Posts: 19,109 Forumite
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    Your happiness does count WF, and you don't want to be spending time trying to manage the effects of others actions. Do what's best for you and the children. No one else matters xx
    "If you can dream it, you can do it". Walt Disney
  • UncannyScot
    UncannyScot Posts: 2,070 Forumite
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    jwil wrote: »
    Your happiness does count WF, and you don't want to be spending time trying to manage the effects of others actions. Do what's best for you and the children. No one else matters xx

    Aye, this^^^^^^ :T
    BUGGRITMILLENIUMHANDANDSHRIMP I TOLD EM! - Foul Ole Ron
    It is important that we know where we come from, because if you do not know where you come from, then you do not know where you are, and if you don't know where you are, then you don't know where you are going. If you don't know where you're going, you're probably going wrong.
    R.I.P. T.P.
  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User] Posts: 0 Newbie
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    jwil wrote: »
    Your happiness does count WF, and you don't want to be spending time trying to manage the effects of others actions. Do what's best for you and the children. No one else matters xx


    What she says ^^^^^ :) xx
  • beanielou
    beanielou Posts: 90,271 Ambassador
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    jwil wrote: »
    Your happiness does count WF, and you don't want to be spending time trying to manage the effects of others actions. Do what's best for you and the children. No one else matters xx

    FRom me too.
    I am a Forum Ambassador and I support the Forum Team on Mortgage Free Wannabe & Local Money Saving Scotland & Disability Money Matters. If you need any help on those boards, do let me know.Please note that Ambassadors are not moderators. Any post you spot in breach of the Forum Rules should be reported via the report button , or by emailing forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com. All views are my own & not the official line of Money Saving Expert.

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    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.     ***Keep plodding*** Out of debt, out of danger. ***Be the difference.***
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