Want a private arrangement but NRP won't agree
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Brybuttons
Posts: 3 Newbie
Hi All,
I'm looking for advice on what to do.
NRP & I have been divorced for 3 years. 3 x children, 8, 10 & 12, eldest is disabled. He's spent 2 years ignoring the CMS & we're at the liability order stage (hearing is in Jan). He earns a good wage via a Ltd company. Assessment is based on his public accounts & comes in at £170pw, he's meant to pay more than that due to collection fees etc.
He doesn't see the kids, his choice. This saddens me as although they're happy & healthy, what child wouldn't be affected by knowing their father doesn't want to have anything to do with them? I've maintained from the word go that I wanted a private arrangement regarding maintenance because as far as I can see, the CMS just bring misery all round. I asked him to pay:
1. Their school dinners. Directly via the schools app.
2. Give them £10 a week each into their bank accounts. £5 they could spend & £5 to save. This would match what I give them too.
That totals £75 per week. He flat refused. Hence it went to the CMS.
I want to write & make him the offer again. He's received the summons now & his new girlfriend is going crazy at the court & CMS letters arriving at their home (I get it in the neck).
I wish I could afford to just walk away but unfortunately I can't. Him just taking over the school dinners would give me some much needed financial breathing space. I also think that seeing their father make a direct financial contribution might in some way save a lot of heartache for the kids in years to come (they'll be able to see he at least helped them financially).
Sorry for all the waffle. Do you think it's worth making the offer again or should I just keep quiet & let the CMS get on with it? Do the CMS pile on pressure or will he just be able to carry on throwing letters in the bin & ignoring their calls indefinitely? If it's the latter then it's pointless me wasting my time as he'll never contribute unless he's forced to.
Thanks,
Briony
I'm looking for advice on what to do.
NRP & I have been divorced for 3 years. 3 x children, 8, 10 & 12, eldest is disabled. He's spent 2 years ignoring the CMS & we're at the liability order stage (hearing is in Jan). He earns a good wage via a Ltd company. Assessment is based on his public accounts & comes in at £170pw, he's meant to pay more than that due to collection fees etc.
He doesn't see the kids, his choice. This saddens me as although they're happy & healthy, what child wouldn't be affected by knowing their father doesn't want to have anything to do with them? I've maintained from the word go that I wanted a private arrangement regarding maintenance because as far as I can see, the CMS just bring misery all round. I asked him to pay:
1. Their school dinners. Directly via the schools app.
2. Give them £10 a week each into their bank accounts. £5 they could spend & £5 to save. This would match what I give them too.
That totals £75 per week. He flat refused. Hence it went to the CMS.
I want to write & make him the offer again. He's received the summons now & his new girlfriend is going crazy at the court & CMS letters arriving at their home (I get it in the neck).
I wish I could afford to just walk away but unfortunately I can't. Him just taking over the school dinners would give me some much needed financial breathing space. I also think that seeing their father make a direct financial contribution might in some way save a lot of heartache for the kids in years to come (they'll be able to see he at least helped them financially).
Sorry for all the waffle. Do you think it's worth making the offer again or should I just keep quiet & let the CMS get on with it? Do the CMS pile on pressure or will he just be able to carry on throwing letters in the bin & ignoring their calls indefinitely? If it's the latter then it's pointless me wasting my time as he'll never contribute unless he's forced to.
Thanks,
Briony
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Comments
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Did you agree the financial settlement for your divorce? How did that go? Did you manage to agree it between the two of you or did you have to go to court?0
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Court for an FDR unfortunately. He wouldn't cooperate, just refused to attend or provide a Form E.0
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Given that he is making your life difficult by not paying, and not agreeing to reasonable compromises, I would let CMS take it's course. They are likely to get something out of him. The new GF will have to get used to the fact that her BF is not a responsible adult.The comments I post are my personal opinion. While I try to check everything is correct before posting, I can and do make mistakes, so always try to check official information sources before relying on my posts.0
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If he's declined to pay up until now, a private arrangent couid have him paying for a few weeks then refusing again which puts you right back at square one. I'd leave it to CMS to enforce.All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.
Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.0 -
Be careful of the old limited company trick - how much money is in the background>? What if he liquidates the company?0
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Leave it to CMS. Their job is to chase deadbeats...
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Brybuttons wrote: »Do you think it's worth making the offer again or should I just keep quiet & let the CMS get on with it?
If you come to a private agreement, which he fails to keep to, how will you enforce it? I'd let the CMS earn their money. If he's getting earache, it's well-deserved, hopefully, his new partner is learning his true character.0
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