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    • crazy_cat_lady
    • By crazy_cat_lady 3rd May 18, 8:50 AM
    • 4,769Posts
    • 41,782Thanks
    crazy_cat_lady
    Crazy Cat Lady Chapter 3 - A New Beginning
    • #1
    • 3rd May 18, 8:50 AM
    Crazy Cat Lady Chapter 3 - A New Beginning 3rd May 18 at 8:50 AM
    Good morning everyone,

    I've had a bit of a break from the forums over the past couple of months, but today seems like a good time to come back on here and to start a new diary. An awful lot has changed in my life over the past couple of weeks and it's going to take some time and effort to adjust, and more than ever I need the support and accountability of being on here to keep me on the straight and narrow as far as my finances are concerned.
    I hope that some of my usual bunch have followed me to this diary, and welcome to anyone new that might be reading. I need all of the help and support that I can get...
    NST June #16 nsd =
Page 27
    • SeasideGirl
    • By SeasideGirl 30th Sep 18, 11:20 AM
    • 27 Posts
    • 146 Thanks
    SeasideGirl
    Well done for your observation/feedback - it's such a relief when they're over And for just surviving the week, you've had a lot on your plate for quite a while. Glad DS had a good birthday too and sounds like you have taught him well, a sensible lad.
    A tech-free day is great, I am hoping to start using my little camper van more often (although not the best time of the year...) to disappear off for 24 hours and just chill in front of a campfire with a book.
    Sept 2018
    Virgin CC1..................... 3334...........33.34.....19.17 Virgin CC2..................... 5775...........57.75..... 0
    DFS Sofa....................... 251.84........41.98.....0 Wickes Kitchen..............3305.42…...80.62....0
    • crazy_cat_lady
    • By crazy_cat_lady 30th Sep 18, 4:20 PM
    • 4,769 Posts
    • 41,782 Thanks
    crazy_cat_lady
    I need to do more reading - I really enjoy it, but just don't get enough time to do it any more. I think I prefer the crochet at the moment but I have a few books piling up that I'd really like to read...
    I'm part way through my epic day. Haven't fully planned next week but I'm good to go for most of my lessons. Haven't done my exam stuff yet either, but I'll start that later once everything else is over and done with. I have gotten my fruity gin on the go, seen my mam and done my tutoring. The usual housework is ongoing as well - keeping on top of the washing up and the washing. My cleaning lady isn't coming tomorrow as I'm getting the bathroom wall fixed so I've run the hoover round and put the rubbish out.
    Right - back to it then...
    NST June #16 nsd =
    • crazy_cat_lady
    • By crazy_cat_lady 1st Oct 18, 6:46 PM
    • 4,769 Posts
    • 41,782 Thanks
    crazy_cat_lady
    Ugh. Today has been one of those days that has felt like death by a thousand paper cuts. I just want to cry if I'm being honest - it's nothing serious, just I'm not feeling well and I'm tired, and the little things feel huge.
    Had a terrible night of sleep last night - kept waking up stressed, with my head pounding. I rarely get headaches so it's usually quite bad if I do. I took paracetamol which got me another couple of hours but it's been a broken night, and I felt rubbish when I woke up. No pain in my head but it felt really stuffy and I felt rubbish.
    Checked bank account and I'm already overdrawn which isn't unexpected but is still pretty stressful. I can't wait until the divorce is sorted out and I can stop paying the solicitor, and settle into the new budget. At the moment that is worrying, but I have my cash from tutoring, and child benefit to come. Plus a bit of exam work so it will be ok for the month - it just stresses me thinking of how close Christmas is and how little I have for the kids. They haven't even asked for anything for themselves yet but it's going to be so tight.
    Couldn't be bothered at work all day as I have a sore throat and I'm not feeling great - plus a full teaching day. No toilet until 4pm today Plus the lady that does my lunch went home sick so I had to have a school dinner I could have used the day off to be honest but I'm expecting to be running the department for a week or two very shortly so I need to be there as much as I possibly can.
    Got a message from the man who took my money to fix the bathroom wall saying that he's had an emergency today so can't fix but will definitely do it tomorrow.
    DS broke the zip on his bag and I can't seem to fix it. May google as I have nothing to lose, except more money. And I needed to get him a couple of new school jumpers ordered as the weather is getting cold and his old ones are teeny.
    Got home, raining, stress, naggy kids and it ended up being 7pm before I've even sat down. I can barely be bothered with anything. I kind of need to do a bit more planning, but I think that the excrement is about to hit the fan at work tomorrow so I'm busy worrying more about that at the minute. At least I have a free to look forward to tomorrow.
    Right, I'm going to do an hour of crochet then settle for a very early night.
    NST June #16 nsd =
    • MeandO
    • By MeandO 1st Oct 18, 9:19 PM
    • 1,729 Posts
    • 8,765 Thanks
    MeandO
    I hope tomorrow is a better day for you CCL.
    With regards to sleep, Something that works for me is a tea called ‘sleepy me’. I was sceptical, and not usually a fan of herbal teas, but this one is quite nice and it definitely helped with the sleep. I have a big box full, will happily send you some to try if you think it’s something that may help you. Just pm me if so x
    Mortgage @ March 2019: £107K Now: £104,990
    Mortgage OP's 2019: £869.88/£1800
    EF: £3905 • H2S: £700
    • f0xh0les
    • By f0xh0les 2nd Oct 18, 6:26 AM
    • 2,295 Posts
    • 20,770 Thanks
    f0xh0les
    I hope today is a much better day.

    Everything seems worse when you are tired.

    You will get through this.

    One day at a time.

    hugs
    MFW START1/5/16 £118,340 Oct17£109,49 12/17 £108,801/18 £108,39 3/18 £108,50 4/18£108,10 5/18£106,99 6/18£105,99.7/18£105,308/18£103,99 9/18£102,99 10/18£101,999 11/18£101,300 12/18£100,700,1/19 £99,999.99 2/19 99,500 1/3 £98,999.991/4 £98,500 1/5 £97,999.99 1/6 £97,500

    MFW 2019 #65
    L&C Referal code- https://referme.to/GNNHtJo
    • DawnW
    • By DawnW 2nd Oct 18, 12:15 PM
    • 5,631 Posts
    • 44,848 Thanks
    DawnW
    Hope you feel better today CCL

    • apple muncher
    • By apple muncher 2nd Oct 18, 12:49 PM
    • 8,913 Posts
    • 68,727 Thanks
    apple muncher
    Watty told me about a poster she'd seen on a train. It said:


    Breathe in while you read this line
    Breathe out while you read this line.


    Hope today goes smoothly.
    NST June ninja #1; NSD 13/16; Ex 13/30; craft (19); remove bagfuls (28)

    Mortgage £16,231 (01/14: £78,201; 01/15: £59,629; 01/16: 39,915; 01/17: 27,295; 01/18 23,143; 01/19: 18.275) MFWDate???
    • crazy_cat_lady
    • By crazy_cat_lady 2nd Oct 18, 5:17 PM
    • 4,769 Posts
    • 41,782 Thanks
    crazy_cat_lady
    Evening all
    I wish I could report in all bright and breezy, but alas I woke up at 3am stressing about money and then couldn't get back to sleep. At least my pillow is comfortable now - that was money well spent over the summer. I'm not sure I'm going to make it through October without help from the bank of mam. The situation is not desperate - I can cover all of my living expenses, but I don't have any spare at all - which I don't like. It's quite a few years since money was this tight and I was racking up debt - can't believe I used to enjoy spending I just feel like utter c r a p for it now. I'm not sure if that tea will help MeandO - it's not something I'm into either, but if this continues over the week then I'll definitely send you a message for some more info.
    There is very little change between yesterday and today. I am as tired as I was yesterday and still fuzzy headed and low on concentration. Work was as predicted - it's all very political and whilst not directly affecting me it is making it a bit unpleasant being there. Head of department wasn't in today so I kept an eye on cover etc. Caf! lady still wasn't back in - good job I'd packed houmous and mini cucumbers as a food option... I had a free but I wasted it sitting in a grump and so am no further forward. I really need to do some planning tonight but it may not get done as my general exhaustion levels are high. I'd rather rest tonight and start afresh again tomorrow.
    I had a go at fixing ds bag when we got home, and fingers crossed it seems to have worked. We'll see if we can get a bit more use out of it as it's only a month old. Hopefully I've made a decent zip repair there.
    My bathroom wall still isn't sorted - note from my man saying he couldn't get the PVC he needed today but will definitely have it by tomorrow. I really hope so because it's a total mess in there at the moment and not pleasant - I hate my bathroom when it's fully functional, never mind with broken tiles all over the place and the wall crumbling down.
    Moan, moan, whinge. I have managed to have a quick shower so I am at least clean again for a day or two.
    Tonight's plans include relaxing with a cuppa and aiming to finish one hat I've been asked to make. And I absolutely have to be in bed by 10.30 - hopefully with my brain clear enough not to wake me at stupid o'clock...
    NST June #16 nsd =
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 2nd Oct 18, 6:18 PM
    • 63,683 Posts
    • 282,212 Thanks
    beanielou
    If I was you I would take DS's bag back.
    A month is no time at all.
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 12 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.***
    ***Keep plodding***
    Out of debt, out of danger. ***Be the difference.***
    • crazy_cat_lady
    • By crazy_cat_lady 3rd Oct 18, 6:46 PM
    • 4,769 Posts
    • 41,782 Thanks
    crazy_cat_lady
    It was only from Primarni Beanie - hardly the highest quality item. I thought about it, but it would be more hassle going back there with it, so I'll see how long it lasts for with the repair.
    What a day I've had today - too busy to even think about anything. I slept through in 1 stint last night but still less than 5 hours altogether. I was awake and just couldn't get myself off to sleep again.
    Got into work and was busy from the word go. I had a massive list of stuff to do during my free and managed most of it - but there's still plenty more to be getting on with. Also got an email from the exam board inviting me to apply for another role - I wish I was brave enough to not be bothered by it but I am always worried about rejection. I'm getting swayed into applying though so I might spend a couple of hours and pop an application in. Then panic. Had a meeting over lunch time with the Head so didn't manage to get my lunch, but that's ok. As I mentioned, there has been a bit of an atmosphere and a few things going on - but hopefully that is well on the way to being sorted out. I have nothing but respect for the Head - he's a decent bloke and I really like working for him so happy days.
    Meeting after school as well, and got home about 6pm. Bathroom wall is almost sorted, but apparently the man is coming back again for an hour tomorrow to finish it off - can't wait. My cleaning lady is also coming tomorrow thank goodness.
    Had a text from ex today, apologising for the atmosphere between us over the past couple of weeks. It is decent of him, and I have explained that I feel awkward in the situation - my emotions are still all very raw and I need to protect myself at the moment. It may appear that I'm being rude but it's self preservation for me at the moment.
    So, after last night's poor sleep I've decided I need an early night tonight. I have made a date with ds that we're going to get into my bed at 9pm and watch The Apprentice. I doubt I'll make it to 10pm but things are still lovely with him after my money panic the other night. Finances are still dire - but I'm keeping an eye and not ignoring as I would have done in the past.
    NST June #16 nsd =
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 3rd Oct 18, 7:27 PM
    • 63,683 Posts
    • 282,212 Thanks
    beanielou
    All sounding good today
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 12 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.***
    ***Keep plodding***
    Out of debt, out of danger. ***Be the difference.***
    • f0xh0les
    • By f0xh0les 4th Oct 18, 6:24 AM
    • 2,295 Posts
    • 20,770 Thanks
    f0xh0les
    Hmm, I find missing the Champions League will do that to a man.

    Glad you can sleep for a while.

    School routine sounds crazy busy. Half Term soon.

    CCL, each day is one day closer to where you want to be.

    Keep on swimming, keep on swimming, keep on swimming....
    MFW START1/5/16 £118,340 Oct17£109,49 12/17 £108,801/18 £108,39 3/18 £108,50 4/18£108,10 5/18£106,99 6/18£105,99.7/18£105,308/18£103,99 9/18£102,99 10/18£101,999 11/18£101,300 12/18£100,700,1/19 £99,999.99 2/19 99,500 1/3 £98,999.991/4 £98,500 1/5 £97,999.99 1/6 £97,500

    MFW 2019 #65
    L&C Referal code- https://referme.to/GNNHtJo
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 4th Oct 18, 10:14 AM
    • 63,683 Posts
    • 282,212 Thanks
    beanielou
    Keep plodding
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 12 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.***
    ***Keep plodding***
    Out of debt, out of danger. ***Be the difference.***
    • crazy_cat_lady
    • By crazy_cat_lady 4th Oct 18, 6:49 PM
    • 4,769 Posts
    • 41,782 Thanks
    crazy_cat_lady
    I feel quite emotional and overwhelmed tonight. Not a great combination, and not fair either because I have so many things to be grateful for in my life. My kids are amazing. DS made me a card to tell me that he loves me, which was amazing and started me off feeling emotional.
    I got a letter about a cat I sponsor at PDSA saying that she has been diagnosed with terminal cancer, and that was topped off with a letter from the solicitor that set me off crying and hasn't really made me stop. It must just be one of those days where I need a good cry and a cuddle. The letter from the solicitor was fine by the way - a bit disappointing because things are not moving as fast as I had hoped. I wanted to have closure before the end of the year, but even if everything moves as fast as we can at this end, there are massive delays at the courts. I'm still really struggling with my feelings about the whole situation and it feels as if I've been like this for ages. I feel guilty about how I'm treating ex but I need to be away from him for my own wellbeing. I am still so hurt by the way he treated me, and I hope that he has changed, really I do - but that then also makes me sad because he couldn't do it while we were together. But my life is moving on without him - he had loads of chances. So every letter I get from the solicitor seems to make me cry because it feels like a reminder of something I failed badly at, and it reminds me that no matter what I did - he didn't care enough to try. And he's trying now, but it's too late.
    And there's still so much to do. Can't apply for the financial order before the Nisi is through. Can't apply for the Absolute until the financial order is granted. I really wanted an end in sight so that I could find some money for the kids for Christmas, but I'm not going to now. Not short term. Ugh. Still paying the solicitor monthly and the bill is still going up and up.
    Just spoke to my Head of Department, who is having a way worse day than me and feel even more guilty about how emotional I am tonight over my small fry problems. Today he buried his grandad and took his dad to a hospice for probably the last time. It's such a sad and rubbish situation to be in, and he keeps pretending he's ok, but he's clearly under a massive amount of pressure. I wish there was something I could do to help him.
    I came home early from work with the intention of applying for that job but I really haven't gotten going with it. My head isn't in the right place for me to sell myself at the moment and I haven't done enough research to properly fill the form in. Don't even feel like doing any crochet or reading tonight. As is now the norm when I get home from work, I just want to go to bed.
    On the plus side of today - it has been another nsd and another day of not going over my overdraft limit. I have managed a half decent teaching day, and all 7 of my cats are still here. I'm taking the small things today... trying to focus on the good stuff.
    NST June #16 nsd =
    • crazy_cat_lady
    • By crazy_cat_lady 4th Oct 18, 6:54 PM
    • 4,769 Posts
    • 41,782 Thanks
    crazy_cat_lady
    By the way.
    Still stressing about money. I would appreciate it if anyone could give me a rough idea of how much spending money they think I will need when me and the kids go to Fuertaventura in February. We're there 5 days all inclusive but I presume that we'll need some spends - I'm just not sure how much.
    NST June #16 nsd =
    • apple muncher
    • By apple muncher 4th Oct 18, 8:21 PM
    • 8,913 Posts
    • 68,727 Thanks
    apple muncher
    Hugs ccl x

    Your ds is lovely!
    NST June ninja #1; NSD 13/16; Ex 13/30; craft (19); remove bagfuls (28)

    Mortgage £16,231 (01/14: £78,201; 01/15: £59,629; 01/16: 39,915; 01/17: 27,295; 01/18 23,143; 01/19: 18.275) MFWDate???
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 4th Oct 18, 8:52 PM
    • 63,683 Posts
    • 282,212 Thanks
    beanielou
    What a lovely thing for your DS to do
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 12 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.***
    ***Keep plodding***
    Out of debt, out of danger. ***Be the difference.***
    • Honeysucklelou2
    • By Honeysucklelou2 4th Oct 18, 9:18 PM
    • 1,678 Posts
    • 8,511 Thanks
    Honeysucklelou2
    How lovely of your DS. The court system does seem to take a long time and is frustrating. Whenever a solicitor's letter arrives, it takes concentration and thought about how to respond or even which decision to take. I can understand each letter making you cry but perhaps see it as part of the grieving process. Thinking of you...
    paydbx2019 #93 £793.95/£10,100 .
    School trips £1269£1269..
    EF £310
    • f0xh0les
    • By f0xh0les 5th Oct 18, 6:15 AM
    • 2,295 Posts
    • 20,770 Thanks
    f0xh0les
    Massive hugs CCL

    You are dealing with your stuff, and as a decent compassionate human being, you can sympathise with your collegue. There is no sliding scale for grief. You are both grieving, him for his grandad and losing his own father, and you are grieving for the future you thought you had.

    It might be that xDH needs to be on his own to fix himself. It might be one of those things that you simply cannot and could never help him with. Some people can't cope with the whole stresses and strains of family and family life. You are setting him free to do what he needs to do. There is no failure there. There is bravery and caring. It is sad, so you are allowed to be sad, but you held it together for so long.

    Everyone I know who goes All Inclusive comes back with money and says they hardly spent anything. It is only 5 days. An important 5 days, but still.

    Your DS sounds great.
    MFW START1/5/16 £118,340 Oct17£109,49 12/17 £108,801/18 £108,39 3/18 £108,50 4/18£108,10 5/18£106,99 6/18£105,99.7/18£105,308/18£103,99 9/18£102,99 10/18£101,999 11/18£101,300 12/18£100,700,1/19 £99,999.99 2/19 99,500 1/3 £98,999.991/4 £98,500 1/5 £97,999.99 1/6 £97,500

    MFW 2019 #65
    L&C Referal code- https://referme.to/GNNHtJo
    • SpekySquarehead
    • By SpekySquarehead 5th Oct 18, 8:21 AM
    • 2,590 Posts
    • 21,783 Thanks
    SpekySquarehead
    CCL - Lovely to hear about your DS and let that be a reminder of what you mean to the kids. Not so long ago you were questioning things like that, so cherish that little momento.

    I hope you feel a bit more positive over the weekend and subsequently pluck up the energy to fill out the application and get back into the swing of things.

    If you're happy to stay in the hotel most nights then you'll need very little. It's worth having some back up though should the food in the hotel not be to your taste.

    Hope you get a good nights sleep tonight
    Debt Free Date: 29/09/16

    Follow my diary HERE
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