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    • lessonlearned
    • By lessonlearned 1st Jan 18, 10:51 AM
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    Frump to Fab 2018 - Fabulous Dahhhhlings
    • #1
    • 1st Jan 18, 10:51 AM
    Frump to Fab 2018 - Fabulous Dahhhhlings 1st Jan 18 at 10:51 AM
    Good Morning my Lovelies.

    And welcome to the new bright and shiny Frump to Fab Thread.

    First of all a very big hello and welcome to everyone, newbies, lurkers and returners....and those undecided.

    Second let me wish you all “Happy New Year”.

    Let’s rock this one!!!!

    Well now where do we start this year. We have quite a history here now don’t we. I was thinking this morning about how the thread has developed so for the newbies......a brief potted history.

    A few years ago my son took a photo of me. I was horrified. I burst into tears. I could hardly believe my eyes at the image before me. we know the camera doesn’t lie and I couldn’t argue with what That image revealed.

    I went upstairs and stood in front of a full mirror and allowed the awful truth to sink in........never mind frump, I looked like a bag lady.

    In my was not down to laziness, far from it. I was caring for my semi Paralysed terminally ill husband. My days were full on with caring duties. I scarcely had a spare minute, it was all I could do to shower and brush my teeth sometimes.

    All very noble of course but I had completely neglected myself in the process. I had forgotten the simple golden rule........we cannot care for others if we don’t care for ourselves. We cannot give love, if we don’t treat ourselves with love.

    How many women forget this simple fact. In our busy lives as mothers, daughters, sisters how often to we put ourselves last on that never ending “to do list”.

    As I stood and looked in that mirror I realised the folly of my ways and I resolved to “do something”. I wasn’t sure what exactly but I knew I had to make a start somewhere.

    So I started the first Frump to Fab Thread and, as they say, the rest is history. What started as a simple diary to help me make the necessary changes to get me out of “Frumpdom” has become a wonderful friendship group of likeminded women.

    Yes some of us are of a certain age but not all. Frumpdom is not the preserve of the middle aged woman who has “let herself go”. Becoming a frump can happen to anyone, young women, even teenagers.

    But here’s the good news’s never too late to reverse the process, never too late to ditch the frump, never too late for the caterpillar to turn into a beautiful butterfly or for the ugly duckling to turn into a graceful and elegant swan.

    There are no rules to this thread except one.

    Kindness please........we don’t judge anyone here, we don’t get into futile pointless arguments, we don’t make nasty comments, we don’t indulge in sarcasm, we don’t bully others, we don’t play mind games and we don’t try to score points by making others feel small.

    So all that being said .....if you are ready to change your stars and become that alluring goddess you always longed to be, if you want to reclaim the energy and vitality that was once yours but has somehow disappeared then this is place for you.

    Let’s all get fabulous.

    Lesson no 1.

    Wear perfume, every day. Don’t save it for best. Get out all those unused smellies lurking in the back of the bathroom cabinet or bedside drawer and start using them.

    Smell divine......and fabulousity will follow. That’s a promise.

    A women who smells gorgeous is gorgeous. It’s the first step on your journey.

    Right I’m off to bathe in a sea of perfumed bubbles but first ..........

    This Forum tip was included in's weekly email!
    Last edited by Former MSE Andrea; 24-01-2018 at 9:02 AM.
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    • lessonlearned
    • By lessonlearned 16th Oct 18, 3:56 PM
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    Great shopping trip.

    Took a load of stuff to the chazzer, mirrors, paintings, clothes. Spotted a nicely carved sideboard 40 which I can turn into a centre island unit for the kitchen. Wahoo. Also a cute little oak rocking chair. Not quite sure where exactly I'm going to put it yet but ultimately it will end up in my writers den/summerhouse.

    Bought some draft proofing stuff so will get Cracking with that over the next couple of days. Didn't bother with lunch out because I have developed a poorly tummy. Think it's the CBD oil I have been trialling.

    We have decided to scale back a little with gifts. We are all watching the pennies at the moment, DS2 is now a penniless student only working part time, DS1 has a new baby and of course I now have the money pit. we shall still have a lovely time anyway. Just resting, eating, making merry and chilling.

    I think I will be "doing Christmas" this year. Give DIL a break, she did it last year.

    It's not long now is it. I always think once half term is over then Christmas is not far behind.
    • moneyistooshorttomention
    • By moneyistooshorttomention 16th Oct 18, 3:57 PM
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    Told a friend just how much my latest pair of shoes had cost me - I'm not sure she's picked herself up from the floor yet - after her comment of "HOW MUCH!!" That being those blue mule type shoes that I feel will be just the thing to make a blue jeans outfit look classier/more elegant.

    She's not seen the rest of the shopping list I've made out

    I'm working it out what my style is going to be - and it's basically Casual Elegant. I can now zoom in pretty quickly on what items of clothing will make that Look for me and I can get away with at my short height.

    Frustratingly slow getting my figure back - regular clothes trying on of clothes I'm waiting to get back into. I think I'm starting to see a move in the direction of heading down from label size 14 to label size 12. Way-hay - I'll soon be back into the "normal size labels" - should only be weeks away....

    Am I allowed a half bottle of champagne when I am - in order to celebrate I could no longer buy any clothes at Evans if I wanted to (which I never have...) - but I shall regard it as an achievement to know they'd all be too big for me. Yay!
    Last edited by moneyistooshorttomention; 16-10-2018 at 3:59 PM.
    • lessonlearned
    • By lessonlearned 17th Oct 18, 12:46 PM
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    Sitting here in my new south facing garden (it's been years since I had one). Just had a nice healthy lunch and enjoying the sun. I count that as fabbing, soaking up some extra vitamin D has got to be good.

    Money......Of course you can have some bubbly to celebrate.
    • moneyistooshorttomention
    • By moneyistooshorttomention 17th Oct 18, 12:55 PM
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    Well - now I've got the Official Permission it would be rude not to

    Had my second visit with latest hairdresser I've tried here. So - it had had quite a few weeks of "just growing" (which gave some length to play with) when I first went there. It's now had another 6 weeks of growing after the first visit - so some "fine tuning" could go on of my restyle.

    Now I can see what I think of it and of the hairdresser.

    It looks rather sophisticated now/sharp cut/etc. Don't know how good (or otherwise) I'll be at "keeping the style up" - but that's that decision made. Several swops of hairdresser later since moving here and I've found a suitable hairdresser now - and I'll just try not to think about the fact they charge three times as much as the previous ones I've tried here or, more to the point, the one I had in my home city prior to moving here
    • lessonlearned
    • By lessonlearned 17th Oct 18, 1:21 PM
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    I think some things are not worth skimping on. Good comfortable shoes which don't cripple you and a good hair cut which you can style yourself, are I think a good investment. We can always cut corners somewhere.

    One example. Regular massages keep me (relatively) pain free and flexible. I would love one every couple of days. but there's no way I could spring for that, so I have one every two or three weeks. In between professional massages I use a hand massager and sit with a massage pad.

    I'm struggling a bit with backache at the moment so this morning i used them both. Not as good as a manual massage of course but they do help.

    I'm not rich and of course I am trained as a beauty therapist so I tend to do all my other treatments myself. Facials, manicures, pedicures, waxing etc. I would much rather have someone do them for me but I have to cut my coat .......I can't have it all. The money I save pays for my massages and acupuncture.

    With shoes I have learned the hard way. If they hurt me and end up tossed in a cupboard and never worn then they are expensive, no matter how cheap they were.

    Hair......Ive still yet to find someone I really like but then my hair is so awful they would have to be a genius. Nicky Clarke himself would be hard pressed to do much with it.
    Last edited by lessonlearned; 17-10-2018 at 1:30 PM.
    • moneyistooshorttomention
    • By moneyistooshorttomention 17th Oct 18, 2:42 PM
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    LL - my mind boggles at the thought of anyone having worse hair than me!! My hair is NOT my "crowning glory". It's so fine - it drives me nuts and I know hair that's not "naturally good" does need a skilled hairdresser to make anything of it - hence why I will try and try and try again until I find one.

    I would love nice thick hair with loadsa body etc and I could/would just have it long and it wouldnt be nearly so important to find a decent hairdresser and I could experiment like mad with doing lots of different styles on it myself. Oh well....

    But yes footwear and beds are things not to be skimped on imo for all of us. Every night that I get into my nice wide comfortable bed I think "Ah - relief". Hair is something not to be skimped on for those of us that struggle to get it looking decent.
    Last edited by moneyistooshorttomention; 17-10-2018 at 2:45 PM.
    • humptydumptybits
    • By humptydumptybits 17th Oct 18, 3:59 PM
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    LL have you thought of going to a local college for a massage. I've used the local college for a facial, hair cut and a massage. Quite cheap and you can go for a 2nd year so not a total beginner and they are well supervised. It does take ages as they have to be checked at every step but it might be worth it if you could do an "inbetween" session between the ones you have now?
    • lessonlearned
    • By lessonlearned 17th Oct 18, 4:40 PM
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    Yes I have tried the college.

    In fact I have just completed a complimentary therapies course myself so I was getting loads of massages, reiki treatments and facials for free.. Unfortunately the college is across the other side of the city from my new house and with the current state of the roadworks round there, frankly it's just not worth the hassle. It would take me an hour just to get there. I had to go near there the other day, absolute nightmare.

    I have found a nice salon just 5 minutes walk from my new house, and my girl charges me 13 less than the city centre salon I used to go to. Also no travelling expenses either, so saving another 5 or so. I am happy with that.

    The hairdresser at the new salon is also pretty good but unfortunately not the best I have ever had. I have only ever found two hairdressers who I would class as first rate. One now lives in Bournemouth and is more or less retired. I was his Saturday shampoo girl many decades ago. The other one who was local retired early through ill health several years ago.

    I have found several nice hairdressers in the city centre in the "no appt needed walk in salons" who have done an excellent cut but I don't find that very convenient. I like to be able to book appts rather than chance my arm. If I worked in the city centre and was there every day then that would probably be quite a good option.

    Like Money I have baby fine hair, which was ok when I was younger and had a lot of it but alas a combination of stress, ill health and age have taken their toll.

    Never mind - it could be worse. I have seen many women younger than me who have suffered severe hair loss. By comparison I consider myself quite fortunate. I am actually quite good at styling it myself and can make it look better than it really is but it can be a nuisance and a bit time consuming.

    Oh to be 16 and able to climb out of bed and do nothing and still look great.

    There's nothing sexy or remotely attractive about my "just got out of bed look". It takes serious work for me to even look human.
    • lessonlearned
    • By lessonlearned 17th Oct 18, 4:56 PM
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    What a beautiful day. I have worked like a demon, making the most of the warm weather, washing outside windows, paintwork and doors. I shall probably pay for it tomorrow. I have to say I really miss my bath, a shower just isn't the same when your muscles ache.

    So......I have decided to order myself a portable mini infrared sauna. I shall pop it in a corner in the attic bedroom for now until it's permanent home is ready.

    I have given myself a manicure. I'm keeping my nails quite short at the moment whilst I'm doing so much diy. I have also starting Using lots of nail cream in readiness for winter, because if I don't then my cuticles will split and tear with the cold and the rough work.

    Time for dinner, roast lamb and loads of veg. Then a nice restful evening.
    • moneyistooshorttomention
    • By moneyistooshorttomention 17th Oct 18, 5:16 PM
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    Oh to be 16 and able to climb out of bed and do nothing and still look great.

    There's nothing sexy or remotely attractive about my "just got out of bed look". It takes serious work for me to even look human.
    Originally posted by lessonlearned
    Are there people that can just "get out of bed" even at 16 and look great?

    They were few and far between when I was in that agegroup - they're even fewer and farther between these days (ie the "Britain Got Fat" era we are currently in).

    Could have been worse - but I was fairly plain and average - until I stopped looking quite so young (ie looking younger than my age), lost a bit of puppy fat, got a decent hairdresser and decided to start emphasising the good points (eyes and boobs in my case). Then I started getting a pretty reasonable amount of "attention". That would have been in my 30's I should say. In hindsight - I wonder if I'd have got more attention if I hadn't spent quite some years dressing like a student - it did feel appropriate for me to do so and it is a University city. I'm really only stopping dressing like a student now because of my age and decided to go "Casual Elegant" - nowt to do with having moved.

    Even in "best-looking decade" I could never "just get out of bed"
    Last edited by moneyistooshorttomention; 17-10-2018 at 5:24 PM.
    • lessonlearned
    • By lessonlearned 17th Oct 18, 6:13 PM
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    Oh yes, there are plenty of young women who look wonderful upon rising.

    Baz Luhrman got it right when he wrote "Wear Sunscreen"


    "Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh never mind, you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until it has faded. But, trust me, in 20 years you will look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked".


    Never a truer word.

    There's also a fabulous song written by Victoria Wood called "I want to be 14 again".

    So yes young girls and young women can and often do tumble out of bed looking good enough to eat.

    My DILS are in their 30s and both of them don't really need make up and intensive beauty regimes. They still have that lovely luminous glow of youth and vitality.

    My sister, the beauty, is 56 and even she can still look pretty good "au naturelle".
    Makes you sick. Lol.

    When I look my old photos it amazes me how good I actually looked, although at the time I certainly didn't feel that way. I think if you looked at yourself objectively you might be surprised at how attractive you actually were.

    I think it's all about confidence. Most young people don't have much self confidence, that usually comes with age and experience.
    Last edited by lessonlearned; 17-10-2018 at 6:22 PM.
    • maman
    • By maman 17th Oct 18, 7:35 PM
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    More interesting conversation today.

    I'm another who isn't satisfied with the hair I was dished out! Is anyone?? Mine is fine and flyaway and has no body. It looks better straight but is too 'kinky' and not heavy enough to lie smooth unless I blow dry it. I'd love 'wash and go' hair.

    But I am fortunate that it's not gone grey, responds well to highlights and I have a great hairdresser even if she is expensive.

    All I'd say about young girls is that it's never too soon to start good habits. It could be luck of the draw but the fact that I've cleansed and moisturised my skin daily since I was 14 that has kept it in fairly good condition. I often see much younger women than me looking very wrinkly. From about that age I always hated the feeling of soap on my face so I've used a cleanser and followed it up with cream.

    My trusty Skechers are starting to look a bit worn so I went looking for another pair today. I think I'm going to try the trainer type ones. I went to the Skecher shop but was unhappy with the service. A young woman asked if she could help, brought me the shoes I asked for then dumped them with me and walked off. A young man dealing with a woman next to me noticed I was looking (deliberately) a bit puzzled and asked if he could help. He brought me another pair but then the woman he was serving looked puzzled that he'd left her. When I left saying I needed to think about it I told him that I was disappointed with the customer service with the woman walking off and he said 'that's he way we do things here' and that she'd asked him to look after me (which I think was a lie). What a pity she didn't see fit to tell me! I've bought my previous pairs of Skechers online and I think I'll be doing the same this time. They may not be in your class money, but they're not cheap so I expect better customer service.

    I did buy more knickers from Victoria's Secret. Good service in there.

    I've got a massage booked for Friday. Another Groupon treat.
    • humptydumptybits
    • By humptydumptybits 17th Oct 18, 7:52 PM
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    I had beautiful auburn hair, fine but loads of it. I hated it!

    Aren't the young stupid.
    • seven-day-weekend
    • By seven-day-weekend 17th Oct 18, 9:14 PM
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    I too have fine hair, but it is reasonably thick, and since I changed my hairdresser it is now halfway down my back. I have it died a colour as near to my 'natural' as possible (a mid to dark brown) and have done since my 40s.

    I know they say women my age shouldn't have either long hair, nor dark hair, but I think both suit me.

    I have not worn make-up since I was a teenager and have always moisturised. Because my skin is dry I do not use soap, usually just water. I do not have many wrinkles for my age and I think it is because I moisturise and have not smoked for over thirty years.

    My one main problem as some of you know, is my weight, which I have struggled with since my forties. However I have lost just over three stone, and hope to lose more.
    Member #10 of 2 savers club
    Imagine someone holding forth on biology whose only knowledge of the subject is the Book of British Birds, and you have a rough idea of what it feels like to read Richard Dawkins on theology: Terry Eagleton
    • moneyistooshorttomention
    • By moneyistooshorttomention 18th Oct 18, 8:10 AM
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    I changed my way a few years back now in shoe shops - having realised shop assistants tend to "just walk off" these days.

    So I now scout round the shop, pick out all the possible shoes etc I wish to try on at once and then grab an assistant that looks free and request them all in both possible sizes (ie "I'll have these in both size 5 and size 5.5 please") and then they have to get everything I might require at once.

    If I see "my" assistant serving someone else and I've spotted another pair subsequently I wish to try - then they're still serving me as far as I'm concerned and I smile but hold out that shoe at them as well and ask for my two possible sizes in it.

    I never "counted heads" back in the day as to how many shop assistants are normally on duty in shoe shops - but I suspect many shops aren't employing as many these days and therefore one assistant is trying to serve two customers at once.

    So I guess I'm doing "smile confidently" rather than "look puzzled". It's not their fault if the shop isn't employing enough of them to go round. I tend to think it might help pressurise the shop into employing a normal number of assistants if "my" assistant is there for minutes at a time in the storeroom looking out my 2 sizes-a-go of half a dozen pairs of footwear. While they're in the storeroom - they can't be serving another customer as well as me.
    Last edited by moneyistooshorttomention; 18-10-2018 at 8:16 AM.
    • lessonlearned
    • By lessonlearned 18th Oct 18, 10:12 AM
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    Good morning lovely ladies

    And another beautiful sunny day. I've been up since the crack of dawn and already I feel like I have done a days work. I'll be half dead by 3pm. I shouldn't have watched that sleep programme last night.

    Retail.....yes I know I have little rants from time to time but Never about the shop assistants. It's not their fault if they "walk off". They have too much to do, they can't be at the beck and call of one customer, hanging around in the hope of a sale.

    I love retail but it is not what it was. Now It's all about the bottom line and shareholders profits. Staff are not treated well, they are not trained properly, wages are shockingly low, and don't get me started on zero hour contracts.

    My complaint about retail is usually about bad management practices, the lack of business acumen and vision, the shoddiness of clothing and goods, and the mind numbing monotony of our high streets.

    I dont think shopwork has ever been a "cushy number' but most shops are now so woefully understaffed the poor shop workers lot is worse than it ever was.

    Frustrating for shoppers of course but hell on earth for the shop assistant.
    Last edited by lessonlearned; 18-10-2018 at 10:15 AM.
    • humptydumptybits
    • By humptydumptybits 18th Oct 18, 7:58 PM
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    Money what happens if "your" assistant was already serving other customer before you came in? Does the assistant have an order she responds to people i.e. she got customer a some shoes, then you asked for some, then customer b comes in. You and customer a both want another pair to try so does customer a get them before you? Does customer b just have to wait. I can't quite work it out. I generally get my shoes at M&S or the Clark's Village and you just help yourself to what you want to try on, it is straightforward and then you just go to the till and pay for whatever you want. The only thing with the Clark's Village shoe shop is don't go at the end of August as it is manic with parents kitting children out for school and they do have fitters for the children so the queues can get very long so lots of people and queues at the till.

    I generally know what suits me and can quickly find what I want so the system suits me.
    Last edited by humptydumptybits; 18-10-2018 at 8:04 PM.
    • silvasava
    • By silvasava 18th Oct 18, 8:16 PM
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    Humpty - I'm a 'shoeaholic' and love Clarks village. Have bought some lovely shoes and boots there. I've got narrow feet so often continental makes suit me better. In Italy the shoe supermarkets just pile up all the sizes of a particular shoe with one on the top - bit like Pavers and you just pull out your size, try it and if you want it go and pay for it. Hardly any staff cos if it's not there they hav'n't got it! Simples! TBH I usually know what I want and don't need anyone faffing round me
    Small victories - sometimes they are all you can hope for but sometimes they are all you need - be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle
    • maman
    • By maman 18th Oct 18, 8:39 PM
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    Interesting about the shoe shops. I've thought about it a bit more since posting.

    I thought back through shoes I've bought in the past year or so. Some online as I knew the brand and size. Others from places like TKMaxx so I just try on what they have and take them to the cash desk.

    My Fitflops are from Shuropody, my heels from Jones the Bookmaker, others from Schuh or Office. All of these, the assistant stayed with me and just served me.

    I think the difference with Skechers is that they have a different business model. It's probably good for sales but not for customer service IMO. They had plenty of assistants so that wasn't the issue. They seemed to be trained to approach customers while they're looking at displays, bring them the shoes and then scoot back to find more customers leaving a very few to 'help'. They are all equipped with radios too, probably to call to the stockroom for shoes so they're ready ASAP. I didn't enjoy the experience.

    It's been a beautiful day here today. Had a brisk hour's walk this morning in glorious sunshine and beautiful smells and colours of autumn.

    Went into the city centre this afternoon to change my phone. Went into H and M as they have a new range based on William Morris designs. I bought a longline navy and white shirt / dress and some culotte type blue trousers. Haven't tried them on yet, will report back.

    Massage to look forward to tomorrow.
    • lessonlearned
    • By lessonlearned 19th Oct 18, 5:26 AM
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    Good morning lovely ladies.

    I know it's early but I'm awake, lying in bed with an early morning cuppa. I do like being retired!! The whole day stretching out ahead, mine to do with exactly as I please, apart from acupuncture. I'll probably nip into Aldi, only need a mini shop this week, mainly fruit and veg.

    Well I now have a study/workroom so I will be able to start some furniture renovating projects in there, probably next week. I've booked to have the dividing wall between the kitchen and dining room knocked out next week. Wahoo. It's actually a silly half wall which doesn't really do anything, except form an obstacle course and block the flow of the room. Neither use nor ornament and bad feng shuey.

    Also managed to get the tree surgeon booked for 16th November to remove those conifers. So knocking out the wall and chopping down trees will allow the light to flood into the back of the house. Now that will really be house fabbing.. Miss Haversham will be well and truly gone.

    re the shop discussion. Maman I can understand what you mean about the Sketchers business model not being a particular pleasant customer experience even though it was efficient.

    These are my thoughts. Whilst "self serve" shopping is obviously quicker, cheaper for the retailer and generally more efficient - when it works properly - there are times when I feel like I'm being "processed". Of course when it doesn't work properly then it's just downright frustrating and time consuming.

    However, This feeling of "being processed" is something I have come to hate. I first really became aware of it in America when we went to Disney. In the likes of theme parks, airports, cruise ship embarkation etc it becomes a very efficient method of safe crowd control. But, increasingly, it's beginning to irritate me, especially when it comes to the shopping experience..

    Self serve shopping works well enough for supermarkets, diy stores, clothing etc but sometimes you do need a shop assistants help or advice. I have to say I do loathe self service tills though. I do object to being treated like a robot!!!

    And don't get me started on automated telephone systems.......

    I know I sound like an old fashioned fuddy duddy at times but I just think that maybe life would be better if there was a bit more human interaction. Personal shopping should be fun or at least relatively enjoyable, not an endurance test.

    Having said that I'm just about to be a hypocrite and go online to buy some electrical stuff I need. Saves me a trip to an out of town retail park, quicker, easier, no driving, no queuing. It will probably save me a couple of hours. I'll also stock up on xylitol rather than drag round the chemist or health food shop. I bulk buy it because it's cheaper that way.

    I guess I just want the best of both worlds. .

    Hoping we have another warm sunny day later. Yesterday was glorious.
    Last edited by lessonlearned; 19-10-2018 at 5:36 AM.
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