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  • FIRST POST
    • ToxicWomble
    • By ToxicWomble 22nd May 19, 6:58 AM
    • 40Posts
    • 63Thanks
    ToxicWomble
    Why is it always....
    • #1
    • 22nd May 19, 6:58 AM
    Why is it always.... 22nd May 19 at 6:58 AM
    Someone else’s fault/problem

    More and more I see this.

    “I bought this and now can’t afford that”
    “ I did this and now can’t afford that”
    “ I was late and got a ticket, but it’s not my fault”
    “ I was going too fast and got caught,but it’s not my fault”

    etc etc etc

    Why can’t people nowadays just take and accept responsibility for their own actions instead of immediately blaming someone/something else and looking at ways to get out of it

Page 1
    • DoaM
    • By DoaM 22nd May 19, 7:45 AM
    • 7,107 Posts
    • 7,038 Thanks
    DoaM
    • #2
    • 22nd May 19, 7:45 AM
    • #2
    • 22nd May 19, 7:45 AM
    It's the Entitled Generation, innit.
    Diary of a madman
    Walk the line again today
    Entries of confusion
    Dear diary, I'm here to stay
    • katka1
    • By katka1 22nd May 19, 8:07 AM
    • 9 Posts
    • 8 Thanks
    katka1
    • #3
    • 22nd May 19, 8:07 AM
    • #3
    • 22nd May 19, 8:07 AM
    I wouldn't say it's the Entitled Generation, whatever generation you are talking about (Baby Boomers, Generation X, Millenials, Gen Z?)

    I think there is a lot of problem with people thinking that everything should work out for them in life, but this simply isn't the case. Life has its ups and downs. The thing is that we don't often see the downs in the media (though we did hear the news of the bankruptcy of Jamie Oliver), so people sometimes come to think that life is easy and they should be able to get everything they want.
    • Blondetotty
    • By Blondetotty 24th May 19, 12:41 PM
    • 225 Posts
    • 257 Thanks
    Blondetotty
    • #4
    • 24th May 19, 12:41 PM
    • #4
    • 24th May 19, 12:41 PM
    Finally, someone else that sees it too! Lack of personal responsibility I think. I've just sat here listening to a colleague complaining because someone else put him in a bad mood and whining that it was their fault he was bad tempered. I'm sat here eye rolling for England and desperately trying to keep my gob shut.
    • Sea Shell
    • By Sea Shell 24th May 19, 12:46 PM
    • 1,929 Posts
    • 3,261 Thanks
    Sea Shell
    • #5
    • 24th May 19, 12:46 PM
    • #5
    • 24th May 19, 12:46 PM
    There is an old phrase...

    "They are the authors of their own misfortune"

    They'll just never admit to it.

    Sometimes you just have to put your hands up and say " yes, I was stupid for doing XYZ". Learn from it and move on.
    " That pound I saved yesterday, is a pound I don't have to earn tomorrow "
    • DCFC79
    • By DCFC79 24th May 19, 6:58 PM
    • 34,383 Posts
    • 21,736 Thanks
    DCFC79
    • #6
    • 24th May 19, 6:58 PM
    • #6
    • 24th May 19, 6:58 PM
    Not in any particular order.

    Because they didnt understand/ or read the contract they signed.
    The finance part of the deal was glazed over by the shiny new car but I didnt read the contract the young man asked me to sign as I was thinking of the car. After say 4 months they realise it was a mistake or the payments were too high or they dont have enough money to get their nails done or its been totalled.

    The exscuse will be they didnt understamd the finance part.

    Don't know what it is but some people just cant accept responsibility for the actions they do.
    Last edited by DCFC79; 25-05-2019 at 6:37 AM.
    • bobwilson
    • By bobwilson 24th May 19, 7:23 PM
    • 508 Posts
    • 156 Thanks
    bobwilson
    • #7
    • 24th May 19, 7:23 PM
    • #7
    • 24th May 19, 7:23 PM
    It depends which area you're in. The culture in some places is very much a "it's not my fault", finding someone to blame game. In other areas, people own up to things.. probably because they rarely do anything. It's a known fact in psychology that cultures develop by copying behaviour or words from people nearby.
    • engineer amy
    • By engineer amy 25th May 19, 6:21 AM
    • 705 Posts
    • 1,238 Thanks
    engineer amy
    • #8
    • 25th May 19, 6:21 AM
    • #8
    • 25th May 19, 6:21 AM
    Cracks me up. A number of people I work with will spend an extraordinary amount of time trying to find someone else to blame whenever they do something wrong, then have a detailed post mortem discussion that goes on forever.
    Whereas my attitude is, if I have c0cked up, I hold my hands up, admit the mistake and say how do we fix this, move on. they don't seem to get this, and waste so much time
    Mortgage = £113,495 (May 2009) £68601.81 Jan 2019
    Halifax CC 0% = £0!!! Car Loan = £0!!!!!
    PAYDBX16 #106 = 12377/12377 (100%)
    • Pollycat
    • By Pollycat 25th May 19, 6:22 AM
    • 22,617 Posts
    • 61,192 Thanks
    Pollycat
    • #9
    • 25th May 19, 6:22 AM
    • #9
    • 25th May 19, 6:22 AM
    What never ceases to amaze me is how many people order stuff from companies without doing a basic check of who they're giving their hard earned dosh to.


    And it's usually not their fault that they've been 'ripped-off', 'conned' or 'scammed'.
    One poster on here said "not everybody has time to check a company out before placing an order".
    • molerat
    • By molerat 25th May 19, 12:51 PM
    • 20,741 Posts
    • 15,010 Thanks
    molerat
    Just pop across to the energy board. A few recent posts there from people who have had massive bills and complaining that it is all someone else's fault as there is no way they could have used that much. They have never bothered to check the meters or estimated bills until this huge one plopped into their inbox !
    https://www.helpforheroes.org.uk/give-support/donate-now/
    • POPPYOSCAR
    • By POPPYOSCAR 25th May 19, 1:01 PM
    • 12,269 Posts
    • 26,999 Thanks
    POPPYOSCAR
    Not in any particular order.

    Because they didnt understand/ or read the contract they signed.
    The finance part of the deal was glazed over by the shiny new car but I didnt read the contract the young man asked me to sign as I was thinking of the car. After say 4 months they realise it was a mistake or the payments were too high or they dont have enough money to get their nails done or its been totalled.

    The exscuse will be they didnt understamd the finance part.

    Don't know what it is but some people just cant accept responsibility for the actions they do.
    Originally posted by DCFC79
    So true.

    I have a family member who bought a car on finance.

    When I asked what the interest rate was they did not have a clue all they knew was they "could afford the monthly payment".

    The car ended up being repossessed
    • Spider In The Bath
    • By Spider In The Bath 26th May 19, 4:11 AM
    • 1,476 Posts
    • 5,265 Thanks
    Spider In The Bath
    There is a book called 'The Age of Absurdity' by Michael Foley which is a really good read and explains how and why society has changed and how we have ended up with people blaming everyone but themselves.

    We have moved from fighting for our rights (women's rights, gay rights etc) in the 70s which was a good thing, but this has now morphed some, almost 50 years later, to being about individual rights.

    Many people now seem themselves as the most important person in the world. "I am entitled to this" "I am due respect" "You have this I should have this also". So of course no one can be wrong and make mistakes it must always be someone else's fault.

    The third and forth paragraph of this article sums the book up nicely:

    https://www.theguardian.com/books/2010/feb/21/the-age-of-absurdity-foley

    The book is not a 'light read' but worth the effort.
    • Sea Shell
    • By Sea Shell 26th May 19, 6:32 AM
    • 1,929 Posts
    • 3,261 Thanks
    Sea Shell
    I think I am unconsciously practicing "Detachment". I don't run with the herd. I really have no desire to bother with what other people are doing or bragging about all over SM. I don't have a "circle of friends" that i'm trying to keep up with or impress every weekend.

    Maybe i'm just a miserable old cow, who knows!!! I've felt like a square peg in a round hole most of my life, because I've not blindly followed what other people do, or feel they should be doing.

    I've put that book in my Amazon Basket!!! Thanks. Amazon also then suggests a plethora of other similar books that look good too. Good job I've got a shedload of Santander referral Amazon vouchers!!!!

    Along similar lines, but not focusing on personal responsibility, if you want a more light-hearted read, i'd recommend Ben Elton's book - Blind Faith. It was written in 2007, in a "1984" sort of way, but has been scarily prophetic in some areas. I've re-read it about 3 times and each time I do, another little piece of it has come true!!!
    Last edited by Sea Shell; 26-05-2019 at 6:41 AM.
    " That pound I saved yesterday, is a pound I don't have to earn tomorrow "
    • Spider In The Bath
    • By Spider In The Bath 26th May 19, 7:09 AM
    • 1,476 Posts
    • 5,265 Thanks
    Spider In The Bath
    I think I am unconsciously practicing "Detachment". I don't run with the herd. I really have no desire to bother with what other people are doing or bragging about all over SM. I don't have a "circle of friends" that i'm trying to keep up with or impress every weekend.

    Maybe i'm just a miserable old cow, who knows!!! I've felt like a square peg in a round hole most of my life, because I've not blindly followed what other people do, or feel they should be doing.

    I've put that book in my Amazon Basket!!! Thanks. Amazon also then suggests a plethora of other similar books that look good too. Good job I've got a shedload of Santander referral Amazon vouchers!!!!

    Along similar lines, but not focusing on personal responsibility, if you want a more light-hearted read, i'd recommend Ben Elton's book - Blind Faith. It was written in 2007, in a "1984" sort of way, but has been scarily prophetic in some areas. I've re-read it about 3 times and each time I do, another little piece of it has come true!!!
    Originally posted by Sea Shell
    Thanks. I have just reserved Blind Faith from the library. I read Dead Famous many years ago and enjoyed it.

    Borrowed from the library as I trying not to buy too many books at the moment - although I have just bought another book of Michael's Foley called 'The Art of Happiness'. Which I have yet to read.
    • pollypenny
    • By pollypenny 26th May 19, 7:32 AM
    • 26,132 Posts
    • 69,124 Thanks
    pollypenny
    You need to try being a teacher who dares to discipline a pupil!

    It's never their fault that they didn't do the homework, they messed about in class or gave cheek, swore etc.
    Last edited by pollypenny; 26-05-2019 at 2:14 PM.
    Member #14 of SKI-ers club

    Words, words, they're all we have to go by!.

    (Pity they are mangled by this autocorrect!)
    • deannatrois
    • By deannatrois 26th May 19, 11:44 PM
    • 6,061 Posts
    • 8,504 Thanks
    deannatrois
    I disagree. Certainly some people are like this, but not all.., not 'Always'.
    • JamoLew
    • By JamoLew 27th May 19, 7:28 AM
    • 93 Posts
    • 109 Thanks
    JamoLew
    Are you offended or are you offended on someone elses behalf - this bugs me nowadays in the way people interact with each other.

    I forsee a day where people are too afraid to interact in any way with others for fear of being "attacked" for something they said or did.

    Daniel Sloss (comedian) does a very good section in his routine on this:

    Did I offened YOU -- tell me why, lets discuss and if needs be I will apologize
    Are you offended on behalf of SOMEONE else -- why ? they can tell me themselves I offended them

    It happens all the time on these forums - people interpret the reality/truth as being harsh, why ?

    Why should I worry about someones feelings when they ask a question and I answer with fact and truth.

    Opinion is a different matter, MY opinion is never wrong (to me), you may disagree with it, you may try and change my views/opinions, but to me, my opinion will NEVER be wrong and I reserve the right to have one on any subject and to change it at any time.
    • unholyangel
    • By unholyangel 27th May 19, 1:11 PM
    • 13,591 Posts
    • 10,930 Thanks
    unholyangel
    I would disagree its a recent change in society (look at politics or religion) - we're just more aware of it now as we're more aware of people & attitudes outside of our own locality due to technology.

    World War 2 was essentially due to blaming someone else for all of the problems they were facing. There has always been an "us" and a "them". And naturally, we're all inclined to be sympathetic to the us and not the them.

    Perception & bias is a strange prehistoric beast.
    Money doesn't solve poverty.....it creates it.
    • Ganga
    • By Ganga 27th May 19, 1:11 PM
    • 1,616 Posts
    • 925 Thanks
    Ganga
    My wife always states we get " in the wrong queue " at the airport/supermarket etc and no reasoning from me changes her mind,i just shrug my shoulders and get on with life.
    ITS NOT EASY TO GET EVERYTHING WRONG ,I HAVE TO WORK HARD TO DO IT!
    • TripleH
    • By TripleH 27th May 19, 4:04 PM
    • 162 Posts
    • 109 Thanks
    TripleH
    Maybe i'm just a miserable old cow, who knows!!!
    Originally posted by Sea Shell
    Pick me, can I be one too?

    On a serious note, I find some people are so obsessed with finding whop is at faulty for a problem and 'punishing them' that they forget to fix the problem.

    If you find a problem, you fix it, it goers away and there's more time for ice-cream
    Wherever you go, whatever you do Richard Marx is right there waiting for you.

    Sweet dreams!
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