Parental rights

TMW95 · 15 May 2018 at 7:27AM

The biological ‘father’ to my now 3 year old has only been paying him child support since October last year through the CSA. As agreed it’s paid directly to my bank the day he gets paid and it was a mutual agreement to save a percentage being taken. He’s never been consistent and the 13 chances he’s has to see our son he’s constantly clock watching and saying hurtful things about our son as well as bribing him with toys. March this year after a year of lies, let downs and inconsistentancy I chose to stop having my son messed around and he no longer sees him as my son was aware of what was going on and was upset frequently which then contributed to his medical bowel problem becoming worse. My question is, my ex is refusing to pay unless he sees our son and bombards me with blackmail. He with holds money and changes appointments around so he doesn’t see our son. I’d rather financially continue supporting my son alone but I’d like him to sign over his parental rights. Is this possible?

WYSPECIAL · 16 May 2018 at 8:24AM

There is no such thing as parental rights only parental responsibilities.

Seeing your children and maintaining them are two completely separate issues, it's not a "pay to view" arrangement.

If you are having issues with him paying CM report it to CMS for enforcement action.

If he has issues with you withholding contact he can apply to Court. He can't simply withhold CM.

pmduk · 17 May 2018 at 9:14AM

It's always bugged me, child support and access are two entirely different things. Neither party should ever be using them as weapons.

(NB comment made generally, not specifically in respect of this post.)

jjj1980 · 17 May 2018 at 4:41PM

I agree neither aspect should be used as a weapon but it does annoy me that some parents will start shouting about their perceived "rights" to see the child but completely refuse to support them!

According to CMS, by refusing to support them they are committing wilful refusal and culpable neglect. I just wish CMS would take swifter legal action and haul these parents in front of a judge. They deserve lifelong criminal records for such behaviour.

If the resident parent refused to support the child, social services etc would be straight in talking about removing the child!

Ajh91 · 17 May 2018 at 8:48PM

Hi I’m wondering if anyone can help or shed any light on mine and my partners situation...
My partner has 2 children from a previous marriage, I also have 2 children from a previous marriage, and we also have a son together, because we live together my partner helps pay for my children and obviously our son together.
We have been together for 4 years and have always had his 2 daughters 4 nights 1 week, and 2 nights another week, which works out half the time, which is joint custody...when they are here my partner obviously pays for their needs(food clothes travel etc),
He pays his ex wife csa of £50 a week.. correct me if I’m wrong but for the life of me I cannot understand why he is paying anything?! He has them half the time so he shouldn’t have to pay when they are at their mums? If that’s the case why isn’t she paying him when they are here? She also claims child tax credits and child benefit for the children so she is rolling in it..
surely it can’t be right that he should pay anything when it works out half the time he has the children?

WYSPECIAL · 18 May 2018 at 7:07AM

Has he asked for a change of circumstances review?

jimd-f · 18 May 2018 at 9:33AM

he does not have them half the time if he has them 4 nights one week and 2 nights the next. that is 6 nights a fortnight so less than half.
make sure he has told CMS this so he gets the full reduction he is due on his assessment.
also make sure they know about the 3 children currently in your household.
child benefit is normally paid to the parent who is the prime carer so in your partners exs case she will get CHIB for 2 children and you will get this for 3 children.
tax credits are awarded based on the family income so it is possible your partners ex is not "rolling in it" but struggling and the child support payments are an important part of her total household income.

elsien · 18 May 2018 at 9:39AM

Ajh91 wrote: »

Hi I’m wondering if anyone can help or shed any light on mine and my partners situation...
My partner has 2 children from a previous marriage, I also have 2 children from a previous marriage, and we also have a son together, because we live together my partner helps pay for my children and obviously our son together.
We have been together for 4 years and have always had his 2 daughters 4 nights 1 week, and 2 nights another week, which works out half the time, which is joint custody...when they are here my partner obviously pays for their needs(food clothes travel etc),
He pays his ex wife csa of £50 a week.. correct me if I’m wrong but for the life of me I cannot understand why he is paying anything?! He has them half the time so he shouldn’t have to pay when they are at their mums? If that’s the case why isn’t she paying him when they are here? She also claims child tax credits and child benefit for the children so she is rolling in it..
surely it can’t be right that he should pay anything when it works out half the time he has the children?

Existing thread asking same question, for consistency.

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5844234

Parental rights

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