Restaurants. Must I pay for a miserable experience?
Comments
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People on this thread seem to forget that not all parents are lucky enough to have perfect children. If you've never had to deal with children who have autism etc then that's great for you but should be parents be hermits because their children have difficult conditions?
My partner has two grandkids with ADHD and their parents (and her) keep them amused and distracted at the dinner table. Sure they are boisterous but they do ensure that they don’t impact on other diners.
They take them to places which are child and family friendly - the best ones have good play areas which give them a chance to release their energy too.
So - no I wouldn’t suggest that the parents should be hermits. But I would ask that they respect other people in the restaurant that they go to.0 -
I suspect that you are on the same side as me, but I would just like to point out that children running riot does not automatically mean that they have "autism etc"People on this thread seem to forget that not all parents are lucky enough to have perfect children. If you've never had to deal with children who have autism etc then that's great for you but should be parents be hermits because their children have difficult conditions?
SOMETIMES the parents just can't be arsed dealing with the kids.0 -
" SOMETIMES the parents just can't be arsed dealing with the kids. "
^^^^^^^ THIS!
But I would say more 'often' than 'sometimes'! It is just another example of the breakdown in behaviour in our society, all stemming from the breakdown in responsibility by parents, who refuse to consider that their little monsters can do wrong. My kids were not brought up like that and my grandkids were not. The problem is caused by the fact that proper parenting is hard work and many parents today just cannot face it. Some of them are as badly-behaved as their brats.
Now I await the reactions.... the truth always hurts.I think this job really needs
a much bigger hammer.
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I very rarely take my son out to restaurants he hates it he can't sit still and gets bored (ADHA) so I avoid them for his benefit more than anything.
However the last time we went, we were sat next to a table of adults who were swearing loudly (this was a family friendly venue). We had to leave as my son cannot stand to hear bad language (he knows it is wrong).
Did I complain no as they were adults doing what adults are entitled to do, much in the same way children will be children when out.0 -
stuartJo1989 wrote: »I suspect that you are on the same side as me, but I would just like to point out that children running riot does not automatically mean that they have "autism etc"
SOMETIMES the parents just can't be arsed dealing with the kids.
Of course it doesn't mean their behaviour is due to a condition but there didn"the seem to be much consideration that not all behaviour is because the parents can't be arsed.0 -
Many thanks for the input, all.
To make the picture more complete, the sort of restaurants/pubs I'm talking about aren't billed as specially "family-friendly", but places that ban small children are very, very few and far between. So, if you want to eat out, it will almost certainly be somewhere which "welcomes" children.
To the person who suggested I should work on my social skills... I'm not quite sure which part of my query suggested I lack them. I just struggle when something - anything - destroys an occasion to which I've looked forward for a long time... And I'm forced to Suck It Up or be branded a monster (as evidenced by some of these responses).
My query was a purely practical one, and thanks to stuartJo1989 for a full and practical answer.
I admit that I'm baffled why people make a life-changing choice to have children (and make much of how life-changing it is...) and yet expect to carry on just as before, including visits to pubs and restaurants, but with said children in tow. And gawd 'elp anyone who protests, however mildly....!
But my question has been answered. And I will now crawl back under my Evil Contrarian Monster stone.....0 -
iammumtoone wrote: »I very rarely take my son out to restaurants he hates it he can't sit still and gets bored (ADHA) so I avoid them for his benefit more than anything.
However the last time we went, we were sat next to a table of adults who were swearing loudly (this was a family friendly venue). We had to leave as my son cannot stand to hear bad language (he knows it is wrong).
Did I complain no as they were adults doing what adults are entitled to do, much in the same way children will be children when out.
Sorry
I am easy going but I’d have said something - especially as you had a child with you.
It’s the same for us all when we are out. Consideration for others while enjoying yourself. Children being children or adults being adults is not an excuse for behaviour that means someone else has to leave a restaurant.0 -
Many thanks for the input, all.
To make the picture more complete, the sort of restaurants/pubs I'm talking about aren't billed as specially "family-friendly", but places that ban small children are very, very few and far between. So, if you want to eat out, it will almost certainly be somewhere which "welcomes" children.
As a rule of thumb, if a "pub" allows children on the premises in the first place then it is "family friendly".
You are right in that very few places ban small children (read: minors), because they actually bring the money in!! A lot of pubs around me initially banned children but now accept them. My local whetherspoons, however, only accepts them until about 9pm (presumably in line with standard meal times)
Restaurants also welcome children too, but in my experience either the parents are without their children or the children are on their best behaviour! I've particularly noticed this in Indian, Thai and Italian restaurants (and Japanese and Caribbean now I think about it). The Chinese ones seem a bit more *fair game* though...
Sometimes it kinda depends on how much you are willing to pay as well!To the person who suggested I should work on my social skills... I'm not quite sure which part of my query suggested I lack them. I just struggle when something - anything - destroys an occasion to which I've looked forward for a long time... And I'm forced to Suck It Up or be branded a monster (as evidenced by some of these responses).
I don't think anyone would EVER call you a monster! You aren't a monster. You aren't even impolite!
BUT I do agree that you should probably:
1. Be slightly more laid back and realistic in your expectations.
2. Speak up if someone is doing your nut in (though, as per my last post, I appreciate how unreasonable some other people can be!)
3. Splash out a bit more and take your partner/whoever to somewhere a bit nicer than a pub... (and certainly not cry when you end up with a few crying children and a free glass of win, you following?
)My query was a purely practical one, and thanks to stuartJo1989 for a full and practical answer.
I like to break posts down point by point, but I didn't see this when I started
Cheers dude! 
BUT I want to caution you that I personally feel that small claims action will be futile in your case. Your are 100% entitled to do it, but you have to stump up initial money (reimbursed if you are right) and I don't think you have a strong enough case personally...I admit that I'm baffled why people make a life-changing choice to have children (and make much of how life-changing it is...) and yet expect to carry on just as before, including visits to pubs and restaurants, but with said children in tow. And gawd 'elp anyone who protests, however mildly....!
I hear you about the mild protests! Been there, done that!
BUT in my experience my mum and dad probably let me and my brother run riot and I'm just sort of glad that they raised me with love, took me to restaurants, fed us and looked after us. Sometimes you've just gotta be the master of the universe and accept the things that you have no control over.But my question has been answered. And I will now crawl back under my Evil Contrarian Monster stone.....
:rotfl:0 -
I think StuartJo1989 has made a lot of good points. I agree re restaurants v pubs. One of the main reasons these days why we eat out in restaurants (yep Italians and Thais especially love the food and no or well behaved kids) and then go to a drinks only pub afterwards.
My parents loved me (I had a great upbringing), took me to restaurants, fed me and looked after me. They didn’t let me run riot, though. They taught me to respect others and behave well around them - particularly in public places like restaurants0 -
It's a bit of an OTT reaction to go home crying from a restaurant because of unruly child...it can be a bit of an annoyance I agree but it's really not something that tears should be shed over.0
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