Lent money to a friend, how to get it back

seriously though - lending/borrowing with family/friends does not mix. i have helped family and friends out before, but have always gifted it to them as i dont want strain on it.

as others have said, if you do not want to attend court, chalk it up to a mistake, and call it a day and move on as clearly not helping your health at the moment either

Concentrate your energies on earning the money back - this is a much more positive use of your energy than going to court which is a situation likely to end badly. The stress (which you appear to have a low tolerance for) during and after (you appear to be apprehensive about the aftermath) can be overwhelming.

You have learned a valuable lesson - never lend money to friends and family unless you can afford to and are willing to lose it. They are not called valuable lessons because they are cheaply come by... chalk it up, move on and don't do it again.

Also, and I know this is obvious too, but you appear to refer to this person as a friend in the present tense. Really, this person is not your friend.

Not much you can do to get your money back if your friend doesn't play ball, short of taking them to court. Whilst they have admitted this was a loan, this is likely a moot point as even if you do take them to court, there is no guarantee you will actually get anything except a lot of legal fees if they have no assets to their name. The comments about CCJs above could be something to think about - if your friend is trying to get credit (say for a mortgage) in the next 6 years then this could give you some leverage to try get some of the money back.

I'd probably chalk this up to a life experience and move on. In my experience, it's never a good idea to lend money to family or friends, unless you don't intend to get it back.

Send a "letter before action" stating that you require return of the money and if not will commence court proceedings. That may make him return the money, and will cost you very little.

Your next step is filing a claim: this can be done on-line and costs about fifty pounds. He will receive an official court summons and again might decide that paying you would be less trouble and stress then preparing a defence and making a court appearance. Or he might choose to ignore it, in which case you would obtain judgment by default (so a CCJ would be entered against his name).

However, if he responds to the court papers with a defence and makes it clear that he intends to argue about it in court, then perhaps you should consider dropping the matter: there would be more fees before the actual court date, and no guarantee of winning.