Forced parenthood
Comments
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Don't get me started on stupid adults not using condoms! OH's son has just got his girlfriend of a few months pregnant, has never, to our knowledge, used a condom, and doesn't see why we're peed off at his stupidity (although he says that they planned this baby - meaning they probably just, at best, both said "Let's have a baby", at worst, they just didn't do birth control and the inevitable happened and they're both going along with it). He doesn't even get that STDs are a serious risk for men as well as women, and has never been to a clinic to get himself checked, or asked any girlfriends to do the same.
And he's twenty years old (son, not OH!). We both think he's being an idiot, but hopefully he'll realise all this when reality bites hard.0 -
Yes things can go wrong, with condoms or the pill, but the PP was talking about lying about being on the pill, not refusing to take it. That's just as bad as lying about using a condom (or "stealthing"as it's apparently known as, strange there's not a word for the woman lying about protection).
The issue I have with this is, yes, there are a few women who would do that, but they are in the minority.
However, a large number of men who find themselves becoming a father because of pill failure seem to automatically assume that they've been lied to. The trust they previously had for their partner seems to fly out of the window, despite all contraceptives clearly stating that they have a failure rate. They are not fool proof.
But there seems to be a bad habit of automatically assuming that the woman lied, rather than accepting that the possibility of contraceptive failure was always there.February wins: Theatre tickets0 -
Staying in a child's life only out of social stigma/pressure/shame of doing otherwise and having to pay child support could be seen as 'forced parenting'.
I know a guy who is in this situation.0 -
Staying in a child's life only out of social stigma/pressure/shame of doing otherwise and having to pay child support could be seen as 'forced parenting'
Yes, if you move away from the literal translation of "forced" there are lots of people in this position, including grandparents, aunts, uncles, older siblings etc who step up to the plate to parent children whose biological parents fail to do the job through death, illness or sheer uselessness.0 -
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Yes, if you move away from the literal translation of "forced" there are lots of people in this position, including grandparents, aunts, uncles, older siblings etc who step up to the plate to parent children whose biological parents fail to do the job through death, illness or sheer uselessness.
Of course.
There's also many cultures and generations who only have families because it's the 'done thing to do'.0 -
Red-Squirrel wrote: »You've got to feel sorry for that kid.
I do, but also to the father who feels trapped.0 -
An unplanned pregnancy where mother wants to keep the child but father does not. I guess he can't be forced to have a relationship with the child, but he's still a parent.
I used to be Starrystarrynight on MSE, before a log in technical glitch!0 -
I think lying about using contraceptives or lying about being able to have children when you can't should be a criminal offence. It's deception, plain and simple. Proving it might be a little more tricky though.
I also think there should be more contraceptive options for men. Currently we have one choice, condoms and they aren't exactly great. If there were more options available I think you'd find more men willing to take responsibility for contraception. As it stands most are for women which is why most of the time they take on the responsibility for such matters.0 -
Not necessarily in this country now, but there were many families where the wife would be regularly impregnated by the husband who would want sons to carry on his trade/business/line. It does still happen on the Indian continent, where men still demand sons (not daughters) and will carry on until they do have a son.
That is forced parenthood.0
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