When to stop financially supporting adult kids

We do, three adult children.
Middle child, struggling to establish a career in the arts, needs the. OST support. Given on am monthly basis.
Middle child, earns ten times average wage. They will willingly help out the above from time to time as they see the surplus earnings as a family resource to be spread around to ensure we are all ok.
Youngest, still also in mid twenties, just starting in a good profession. Living rent free till he finds a house.

It!!!8217;s tough and I look around at what our friends can do with their lives, rarely do I resent it. Only number one will need help for much longer but Oh will be retiring soon.

I'm not a parent, but I was a child once so here's how it was for me.

Once I left for university when I was 19 my parents loaned me money a couple of times in my early twenties to help with car purchases when I wanted to get cars that were only six years old rather than the under £500 bangers that I had been running, and I repaid them by standing order over a couple of years,

Before university I lived with them paying fairly cheap rent (£25/week including food and laundry, in the 1980s) from after my A levels during my "year off", that I spent working full time. I paid for my own car (purchase, maintenance, insurance etc)

Outright cash gifts or help with living costs after leaving home? No.

One person's "financially supporting" is another's "helping out". For our family, the helping out is a lifelong thing: It could be hard cash in the form of an interest-free loan, or a donation to help with a move or major bill, or an invite to come on holiday free of charge. All of those have been done by us or for us, with our parents and children. We're lucky enough to have a bit of spare cash these days, so why wouldn't we want to make life a little easier for those we love?

As the youngest child in my family i have always found this to be a hot topic.

My two oldest siblings both regularly receive financial and "other" support (free childcare ect) on a weekly basis, but my sibling just above me (3rd) had to move back home last year due to the breakdown of a 10 year relationship, resulting in her having to leave her work and move over 100 miles to start afresh - and has had nothing but aggro from the parents about it.

Two oldest aren't responsible, cant hold jobs down or relationships. Prioritise nights out instead of their children.

3rd works hard, saves her money, and is trying to build her life back up after a real low. she hopes to move out soon. Parents are "cutting her off" from financial help - so making her pay additional rent, own food, and the like, making it harder for her to save to move out...


Personally, i think it depends on the efforts being made by the child. Im the youngest, got some help to clear some debt when buying a house, but since i was 18 i have worked full time, paid rent every month, never borrowed from them until i was gifted this money.