Up for a laugh? A 23 year old's guide on how (not) to be mortgage free

greent · 23 January 2018 at 2:38PM

Wow! 23K + possible family contributions for the wedding!

We've been married 22 and a bit years. We didn't have a cheap wedding and we did save for it - the only contrib from anyone being my mum paying for my dress. However, looking back with hindsight I'd have spent less and still had a damn good time (And I wouldn't have had my mum spend over 1K on a handmade, bespoke dress with beautiful handmade lace train to start with - a dress that last year I put in the washing machine and then donated to an angel gown charity) It's one day - and there will be memories aplenty, regardless. The most important thing about a wedding is the actual ceremony between two people committing to be together. The rest is all an add on, often with a degree of showing off.

It's your money, your day and spend it (the money and time) as YOU wish. Just don't be in any way brow-beaten/ peer pressured to spend it (time or money) on something you're not really that fussed on...
xx

ViolaLass · 23 January 2018 at 2:56PM

Tropically wrote: »

I’m going to voice my controversial opinion about why you should spend that on a wedding. I will be spending about £40k on my wedding but I’m a little bit older than you and down south (so more expensive).

If I had to choose between being mortgage free in 2040 instead of 2041 and sharing a special moment and time in my life with my grandparents who won’t be around forever, I would 100% chose my grandparents. I don’t get that many opportunities to gather my friends and family anymore and I don’t want the only reason to see everyone together at once to be funerals. Yes, we should see everyone individually but lives are busy and complicated, and there are only rare occasions to all be together – weddings are one of them.

If I had the sort of income that could support a yearly mortgage payment of £40k, I'd probably make different decisions too. As it is, the OP is on 'just above' the minimum wage.

Lauralou79 · 23 January 2018 at 4:36PM

Going to throw my 2p on the wedding. I would never spend that amount of money, however you both come across with your heads screwed on. You in my eyes of a 38 year old are very organised for 23. More so than I was or anyone I knew at that age was.
You seem very sensible with money, you are aware of what you spend and save and have a budget. I’m all for saving for a pension/rainy day and overpaying your mortgage. I’m a big convert from my days of being in a small amount of debt. But you should also live a little too, no point having a nice little nest egg if you’ve done little with your life to look back on. If you aren’t taking on more debt and saving it’s your money to do as you please. You don’t appear to have huge vices so if you fancy a little holiday or a big wedding then why not?. In my eyes it’s all about balance and at your age you’ve time to do it all if you are careful. Enjoying the diary btw.

daisy_1571 · 23 January 2018 at 6:12PM

ViolaLass wrote: »

If I had the sort of income that could support a yearly mortgage payment of £40k, I'd probably make different decisions too. As it is, the OP is on 'just above' the minimum wage.

Agreed, it's all relative and if you can afford that kind of overpaying then it's a small percentage however to go back to tropically, I totally agree that you do what you want with your money however a wedding day is probably max 12 hours with a 3 in the afternoon ceremony, by the time you do half an hour for the ceremony, about an hour for the photographs since it seems to take that long nowadays, then at least an hour and a half for meal and speeches there goes another couple of hours. If you have a lot of people there believe me you don't get much time to chat with everyone and create these memories. Much better to take unpaid leave for a couple of months and spend a few days at a time with these people and make some slightly better memories than shouting over the music with several other people also trying to get your attention to speak to you/tell you it's time to cut cake etc. I think most brides will say the day goes by in a flash no matter whether you spend a couple of hundred, 20grand or 40grand.

Anyway, good luck to all wedding people and I hope you have a lovely day as well as the following years

:happylove:heartsmil

Dxxx

daisy_1571 · 23 January 2018 at 6:14PM

Lauralou79 wrote: »

Going to throw my 2p on the wedding. I would never spend that amount of money, however you both come across with your heads screwed on. You in my eyes of a 38 year old are very organised for 23. More so than I was or anyone I knew at that age was.
You seem very sensible with money, you are aware of what you spend and save and have a budget. I’m all for saving for a pension/rainy day and overpaying your mortgage. I’m a big convert from my days of being in a small amount of debt. But you should also live a little too, no point having a nice little nest egg if you’ve done little with your life to look back on. If you aren’t taking on more debt and saving it’s your money to do as you please. You don’t appear to have huge vices so if you fancy a little holiday or a big wedding then why not?. In my eyes it’s all about balance and at your age you’ve time to do it all if you are careful. Enjoying the diary btw.

Also agreed

Dxx

Trina90 · 23 January 2018 at 6:23PM

Your circumstances are kinda similar to ours a couple of years ago. A year or two later than you - we were 23 and 24 when we started our mortgage. Our debt has gone down nicely by £34,000 since then! It is a fantastic feeling!

Our wedding was last year but only came to around 10k. Obviously only you two can make the decision, but even with 10k, we had a lot of things we could have done without - but at the same time, were fun to have (ie, a photo booth and a silhouette artist), so you may be surprised with how much you actually need with what you want..:)

Blibble · 24 January 2018 at 7:51AM

Blimey! Thanks for the points of view everyone - going to sit down with OH and read through everyone's comments

.

Right now, the wedding is planned for just under 2 years away, and we're very much in the planning stage. Nothing is booked (not even the venue we'd like, as they won't take bookings until a few months time!). So, saving the money this early is purely there for flexibility down the line.

In our most expensively splurgy wildest dreams, I don't think we've made 23k in any of our preliminary budgeting, and we both fully hope to come under this figure.

A lot of what we want from the wedding is similar to what Tropically says - personally, all of my family are in and around London. I get to see my parents 3 / 4 times a year, and some of my slightly more distant family I don't get to see once a year. My family's also a lot older than OH's, and there won't be another opportunity to get them all in one place so I'd like to make the most of it while I can. On the other hand, I fully appreciate the advice from those who say that the wedding is just as enjoyable for all concerned if done at a slightly lower cost.

It's all very confusing isn't it?

. I feel the most important thing is to be clear what we want, and we're still in the process of fully working that one out.

suki1964 · 24 January 2018 at 10:17AM

The most important thing about a wedding, is the two of you making your vows in front of your nearest and dearest, the rest is window dressing. Your mum won't shed tears of joy at the plate of dinner served

Anyways just wanted to say well done on choosing this journey, and very well done on realising that it can't all be hard work, there has to be rewards or else motivation goes out the window

I see you like a curry, try get hold of the Hairy Bikers curry book. It is my go to when I want a curry. Every recipe tastes so good and is so easy. I think the most complicated dish in the book is the vegetable biryani, but omg, so worth making, esp if you are hosting a night in. Makes loads. I've only had one Indian meal out since I got the book about three years ago, I was so looking forward to it, a highly rated resturaunt in Ayr, and it was dreadful. Flavourless and just plain nasty. Even the friends we were with said it wasn't a patch on what I can cook I'm not the best cook in the world either, but I can follow a recipe

What's really good is that most of the recipes use the same few spices, and when bought from an Asian grocers, it works out really cheap. Also chicken thighs were designed to be curried

Meal planing for a week helps with the budget. Over on the oldstyle board there's lots of advice on how to shave money of the weekly shop. I shop mostly in Lidl, never buy ready meals, I buy the raw materials and cook from scratch every day. We even get to eat steak every other week and my grocery bill for 3 adults is around £120 a month ( sometimes higher, lots of times lower, it's the average)

If you have a liking for junk food download the relevant apps. They always give freebies and vouchers. BK is very good if you just want something quick, often get a meal deal for £1.99. You just need an app each and order and pay separate

I sell everything on FB as you don't have fees to pay.

I'm mortgage free, but like so many of my generation, left pension planning way too late so that's why I'm so frugal, squirrelling away all we can for our old age So like others have advised already, it's never too soon to plan ahead

Good luck to you both

themadvix · 25 January 2018 at 10:30AM

Hi Blibble, there's lots to think about there.

Just wanted to add my two penny worth ('cos you asked for it.... oh no, you didn't, sorry!!). We opted for a village hall for our reception as we couldn't have afforded to have a fancy do in a hotel or wedding venue and have all the people there that we wanted. The people sound like they're important to you, so something like that might be an option. The hall looked brilliant (we did opt for a pretty one) and we had a hog roast served to the table (as I really didn't want a buffet - having been the last table called at a wedding before and not had much to eat!). Everyone said they'd had a great time, so it's not necessarily about the amount you spend, but what you do with it!

Oh, don't you just love the uninvited advice when anyone mentions a wedding

Do what you want - as you say, you haven't really decided what that is yet!

... Off to check out the Hairy Biker's curry book now - thanks Suki!

bugslet · 25 January 2018 at 11:50AM

Blibble wrote: »

Stop it, you'll make me blush. On a slightly more serious note, though, society seems to have this idea that all young people are reckless and financially irresponsible. Which is sometimes true. But for every 20-something that is, there's another 5 who are screwed over by society and have to do what they can to get by. We're exceedingly lucky to be in the situation we're in, with a decent education and full-time work, but I think you'd be pleasantly surprised by how many 20-somethings really are inspiring. It's just a shame that it's all too often out of necessity.

^^This. It's a daft amount, I realise that. Part of me is always thinking "we never do anything for ourselves, we should have one day in the year which is just us", and part of me thinks "if we were more reasonable with the wedding, we'd have another 10k to chuck at whatever we wanted". I've not reconciled that one yet, and don't think I will for a while. But at least the savings are there, whichever way we decide to crack on with it

About the wedding....nah I won't, never been married, Mr Bugs asked, but I never wanted to. Whatever makes you happy, all I'll add is that I've been to big posh weddings and ones done on the cheap, neither were better or worse, neither were more memorable or less memorable. Your wedding, be selfish.

I think young people have been screwed over in different ways throughout the years. I'm just a boomer (june '64) and when I left college at 18, I joined a dole queue of 3 million, when I next had to look for work 3 years later, the queue had slumped to 'only' 2.5 million unemployed. A few years later and I had my own cheap house and found out how the infamous 15% mortgage can mess with your budget:eek: ( that emoticon needs tears as well:p).

I employ a few young people, ie under 30 and generally I'm really impressed, they are hard-working bunch, cheerful and nice to have around. None of them are lucky and I doubt you are, they made the effort themselves to do something, to make the best they could of what they have and I suspect you do too.

Threads certainly wandered around a bit there:D

Up for a laugh? A 23 year old's guide on how (not) to be mortgage free

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