Rehomed a cat - partner wants to get rid of him

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  • zagfles
    zagfles Posts: 20,318 Forumite
    First Anniversary Name Dropper First Post Chutzpah Haggler
    4 weeks???
    We last moved house with 2 cats, and later inherited 3 cats, in all cases they were older cats (around 8-12) we just kept them in for a day or two and they were fine going out after that. They were outdoor cats, it would have been cruel to force them to stay in longer. Maybe that's why this cat is playing up.

    I did a bit of research last time and there is a load of hysterical rubbish on the internet, some were saying you must never let the cats out of the new house after you/they move :rotfl:
    Do what's right for you as well as the cat, you don't just exist for the cat's benefit (not that you'd know it with some of the hysterical stuff you read on the internet!).
  • donnac2558
    donnac2558 Posts: 3,610 Forumite
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    zagfles wrote: »
    4 weeks???
    We last moved house with 2 cats, and later inherited 3 cats, in all cases they were older cats (around 8-12) we just kept them in for a day or two and they were fine going out after that. They were outdoor cats, it would have been cruel to force them to stay in longer. Maybe that's why this cat is playing up.

    I did a bit of research last time and there is a load of hysterical rubbish on the internet, some were saying you must never let the cats out of the new house after you/they move :rotfl:
    Do what's right for you as well as the cat, you don't just exist for the cat's benefit (not that you'd know it with some of the hysterical stuff you read on the internet!).




    Well great, it went well for you. But every cat is different.


    The rubbish of you must let your cat out! Many cats are more than happy to stay indoors. Also with the neighbours and your cats crapping in their gardens, that makes you selfish love my cat but I really want it to toilet elsewhere. Also with so many and I do many stories in recent times of cats going missing being found poisoned or used for dog fighting.



    So you want your cat to go out then make sure your garden is fenced and cat-proofed to keep it in your garden. As said watch Jackson Galaxy who is a cat behaviourist.
  • hb2
    hb2 Posts: 1,398 Forumite
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    I agree that this young cat is play fighting and needs to have his energies directed elsewhere. If OP and her bf have been used to older, more sedate, cats they might have forgotten just how much energy a younger cat can have. My advice would be 'play, play and more play'. Reward good behaviour and ignore bad.

    I'm assuming that Puss has been neutered, as he came from RSPCA (if not, get it done straight away!) but it can take a while for the levels of male hormone to drop after castration, so there is a good chance that his behaviour will settle further if he was only recently 'done'.

    I also agree with providing raised places for Puss. Not everyone wants to 'cattify' their whole house, but providing a cat-tree or even a shelf would help if he is a 'tree dweller'.

    There are lots of different cat litters around, many of them are deodorised, so keep experimenting until you find something that suits you all. You might also find that different foods affect the output - but cats are notorious for not eating what their guardians want them to!

    As to the bf - I would never respect anyone who gave a 'me or the cat' ultimatum . . .
    It's not difficult!
    'Wander' - to walk or move in a leisurely manner.
    'Wonder' - to feel curious.
  • NeilCr
    NeilCr Posts: 4,430 Forumite
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    When you say Rehomed do you mean that - the cat had been at another home - or that you gave him a home.

    Reason I ask is that I got my current guy when he was estimated to be 4/5. The general opinion was that he had always been a stray so had had no chance to get used to human/cat interaction. He was a bit wild for a while but slowly settled down

    He is much better now but still has "his moments". Underlying that, though, is that although he does do attack stuff on occasions he means no harm at all. It's how he is.

    He is FiV+ so can't go out. I feel sorry for him - although he has adapted well. What he doesn't do well is play. He gets very bored, very quickly so it's not always the answer I am afraid.
  • zagfles
    zagfles Posts: 20,318 Forumite
    First Anniversary Name Dropper First Post Chutzpah Haggler
    donnac2558 wrote: »
    Well great, it went well for you. But every cat is different.


    The rubbish of you must let your cat out! Many cats are more than happy to stay indoors. Also with the neighbours and your cats crapping in their gardens, that makes you selfish love my cat but I really want it to toilet elsewhere.
    As most of the neighbours have cats anyway it makes no difference. We often get other cats in our garden.
    Also with so many and I do many stories in recent times of cats going missing being found poisoned or used for dog fighting.
    Yeah, it's more risky, but at least the cat gets a life.

    Don't tell me, they can get plenty of stimuation indoors. So can prisoners. But it's still a punishment to be locked up 24 hours a day. At least prisoners get a bit of fresh air in the exercise yard.
    So you want your cat to go out then make sure your garden is fenced and cat-proofed to keep it in your garden. As said watch Jackson Galaxy who is a cat behaviourist.
    I can't take anyone called "Jackson Galaxy" seriously :rotfl:Particularly someone who refers to themselves as their pet's "Daddy"! It comes across as appealing to the delusional who think they are their pet's parent, and want to treat their pet as a faux child.
  • GaleSF63
    GaleSF63 Posts: 1,535 Forumite
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    I found that the wood pellet cat litter is best for reducing smells - by quite a margin.
  • sgun
    sgun Posts: 716 Forumite
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    This is exactly what happened to me and husband three years ago. We adopted a two year old male from the RSPCA and he was behaving in the exact way you have described. After two weeks my husband was all for returning him. I was more prepared for it to take up to 6 months for the cat to settle properly as we had no idea what his life had been like up until then.

    Some of the biting will be play, and some will be from fear. The cat needs more time to get use to his new house and people. Occasionally our Mojo will bite still even now, when he is afraid or unsettled. Feliway diffusers are brilliant and if you can get something like Zylkene with l-tryptophan in, that will also chill out your new pal.

    Mojo settled really after two or three months. Husband perservered and now the bloody cat loves him and just tolerates me!

    The one thing that made a difference to my husband was that I told him if he returned the cat he would never be able to adopt another animal again. If you cant empathise and have patience then you shouldn't have an animal. Husband grew up on a farm so had a bit of a different attitude to cats but he has seen the light now!
  • sheramber
    sheramber Posts: 19,047 Forumite
    First Anniversary I've been Money Tipped! First Post Name Dropper
    You may talking to yourselves as the OP has not logged on since the day she made the post.
  • stripeyfox
    stripeyfox Posts: 474 Forumite
    If you're persistent enough, the cat will clear off and live with someone else in the end, like mine did!
  • Fire_Fox
    Fire_Fox Posts: 26,026 Forumite
    Name Dropper First Anniversary First Post Combo Breaker
    Watch a few episodes of My Cat from Hell with Jackson Galaxy. This type of behaviour, causes and solutions feature regularly.
    Declutterbug-in-progress.⭐️⭐️⭐️ ⭐️⭐️
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