I've just discovered an old Army mate has died.

amistupid · 20 November 2015 at 12:35AM

I posted this in Discussion Time but it was suggested someone here maybe able to help.

amistupid wrote: »

About forty years ago, whilst doing basic training in the Army, a good pal and fellow recruit, asked me to be best man at his wedding, I was honoured to oblige.

Only weeks later, he and his bride got a UK posting and I was posted abroad. We lost contact with each other.

Last night I was watching the Peep Show which was about a wedding and the role of best man. This made me think of my mate and his wife and I wondered how they were doing.

I'm not very good on the computer but decided to Google him.

I was deeply saddened when the search resulted in a picture of his headstone. It revealed that, whilst still in the Army, he'd passed away twenty three years ago. He was only in his mid thirties.

I also discovered he had children, who tragically lost their mum only a few years later.

Although we lost contact so long ago I now can't stop thinking about him.

I wonder if his kids, who'll now probably be in their thirties, have photos of their parent's wedding, and the ugly young squaddie their dad picked to be his best man.

I feel intrigued to find out more about what happened to him, especially as he died during the time of one of our 'foreign campaigns'.

Would you dig further or leave things be?

Triker · 20 November 2015 at 12:47AM

Your call, but it may be a huge comfort for his surviving family that you knew him and could tell them about him.

There's a lot of Veterans groups out there (I work with Veterans in a Therapeutic role) and someone always knows someone and can add to the situation.

Sorry for your loss.

jennyred · 14 December 2015 at 4:33PM

Hi - I just saw your message and it sounds just like my dad and I wondered if it was him you are talking about? His name was Dave Hawksby and he died aged 38 from cancer and my mum Angie died 6 years later aged 36 from cancer. I am now 35. If so then please get in touch. Jenny.

Trying_to_be_good · 15 December 2015 at 8:30PM

Wow - I hope you are two halves of the same story.

Jenny - you should be able to send a Private Message (PM) that might send an email alert to amistupid, I'll try, too, and hope he checks this thread.

Fingers crossed for you

SailorSam · 15 December 2015 at 8:43PM

23 years. It's a lomg long time isn't it.
Still i think the kids would love to hear some of the stories you must have. If they were only yound when their Dad died they probably don't have the memories.

amistupid · 16 December 2015 at 7:28PM

jennyred wrote: »

Hi - I just saw your message and it sounds just like my dad and I wondered if it was him you are talking about? His name was Dave Hawksby and he died aged 38 from cancer and my mum Angie died 6 years later aged 36 from cancer. I am now 35. If so then please get in touch. Jenny.

I have contacted Jenny. Unfortunately, although the circumstances were very similar, it was not her dad I was referring to. I expressed my deepest sorrow, at the loss, at such an early age, of her parents.

p00hsticks · 19 December 2015 at 10:32AM

amistupid wrote: »

I have contacted Jenny. Unfortunately, although the circumstances were very similar, it was not her dad I was referring to. I expressed my deepest sorrow, at the loss, at such an early age, of her parents.

It's a shame that it wasn't Jenny's dad, but perhaps her reaction to your post - that she wanted you to get in touch - helps to make up your mind about your original question about whether to follow up on your friend.

jennyred · 24 December 2015 at 6:15PM

Thank you everyone - some many similarities its spooky. I have messaged amistupid back today. x

I've just discovered an old Army mate has died.

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