Sashybo - Back Again

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  • Hi Sashybo, just wanted to say congrats on the birth of your DD! Your birth sounds very like mine 2nd time round (also a DD, ive one of each too ��) i got to the hospitsl fully dilated and hubby was parking the car and they wheeled me away, she was born less than an hr later. Funny i remember shaking for ages after too, must be the adrenaline.

    Just take it a day at a time for now, the early days are hard and i know there is a lot of guilt when you have to divide yourself 2 ways! You know how quick this time will go! Did i read that you are hoping to get your son into a nursery? Mine was in 3 days and it was a godsend when i had just had dd. Ds was 2.8 when his sister was born and i was in a haze for a very long time..infact i still am and she is almost 4 ��
    Minimuffin x
    Mum of 2 :j
  • XSpender
    XSpender Posts: 3,811
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    Coming out of lurkdom to congratulate you and DH on the birth of your daughter.

    Hope you are getting lots of rest x
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  • sashybo
    sashybo Posts: 4,496
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    Hi minimuffin & XSpender. :hello:

    Minimuffin, the shaking was weird, the midwife did say it was the adrenaline as the birth was so fast. I'm definitely struggling with DS as I feel he's playing up a bit due to all the changes and it's not his fault but it's so draining. It will be a big challenge when DH goes back to work next week but we'll just have to get on with it.

    I was thinking of putting DS into nursery but it would have to be private as he doesn't get any free hours until next August and it will probably be too expensive. Will see how I get on, I might be able to get my mum to take him one day a week just for a break! :o

    XSpender, I lurk on your diary too. :rotfl: Thanks for the congrats and I'm trying to rest, I always want to do too much and need to stop myself.

    DH has been huffing and puffing last night and this morning about how terrible he feels. :rotfl: Anyone would think he's the one that had the baby. :rotfl:

    The outlaws are coming up to visit at the end of the month. :eek: Thankfully NOT staying with us. :j:j

    Also have to wait a ridiculous amount of time to register our DD's birth - first appointment we could get is in 2 weeks time as we both have to attend. We will be over the 21 day limit by 1 day at that point! Apparently September & October have been super busy for births - all of the nearby maternity hospitals had to close to new admissions/divert for at least part of September. :eek: So I suppose it makes sense that there are a lot of births to be registered!
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  • Moneywhizz
    Moneywhizz Posts: 459
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    edited 16 October 2019 at 4:47PM
    My daughter had her children with about the same age gap as you and my gds took quite a while to adjust to the change. it must be hard for them to adjust to someone else getting the attention that they had but he did get used to it. He also had to be watched all the time with the baby. Not that he was trying to hurt her, but his playing was somewhat rough! He sounds a bit like your ds and doesn't regulate his emotions well. Just take all the help you can get from whoever is available, even the outlaws!
  • Congratulations - so pleased for you!

    Hope DS and DH adjust quickly. Hard to be reasonable when you are tired.
  • sashybo
    sashybo Posts: 4,496
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    Thanks Moneywhizz, I think it's a mixture of everything for DS plus the terrible twos thrown in. :eek: Meltdowns are a regular occurrence just now. :(

    Thanks redo. :) DH has decided he isn't well but is still helping out and doing his fair share thankfully. DS is constantly tired just now as he's refusing to nap in the afternoon but still needs it so is a total brat from dinner time to bedtime as he's exhausted. :cool:

    I'm really struggling with DS as his behaviour is just so bad when he hears the word no. :( He's such hard work right now. I'm worried how I'll cope with him when DH is back at work. :( I know it's a phase but it's hard. He had a 30 minute screaming fit tonight because he didn't like what I'd made for his dinner. :eek:

    Two of my aunts came over for a visit with my mum the other day so it was nice to see them all. They brought some lovely clothes for DD - her first pink things as she's been wearing DS's neutral coloured stuff. :) So many cute girl clothes. :)

    My brother & his GF came over with the girls as well the next day so it was good to see them. More adorable girl's clothes received, I won't need to buy her much at this rate!

    Payday today :T I'm also 80p off cash out on OP. :j
    Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts. Car loan 1 £14,258, Car loan 2 £16,000, 0% CC1 £345. Debt Free Diary to try & keep spending in check.
  • My first three were each 18 months apart so when DD1 turned 3, I had DD2 at 18 months and DS1 newborn. What I found helped me was lots of stories during feeding time so the older ones had some attention at the same time. I also found getting out once a day for a walk helped with toddler energy levels so that on our return home, they were more relaxed and easier to manage.

    Are there any groups to join locally? Can you have 1 day a week with your mum so that you know there's a point in the week that you have help?
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  • sashybo wrote: »
    I'm really struggling with DS as his behaviour is just so bad when he hears the word no. :( He's such hard work right now. I'm worried how I'll cope with him when DH is back at work. :( I know it's a phase but it's hard. He had a 30 minute screaming fit tonight because he didn't like what I'd made for his dinner. :eek:

    My 3 year old does this too. Everyone says ignore the behaviour but it's blooming hard particularly when your head begins throbbing!

    I'll keep an eye out to see if you come up with any solutions that I can shamelessly take on board :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:
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  • sashybo
    sashybo Posts: 4,496
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    Thanks for the suggestions Honeysuckle, I definitely find that going out for a walk helps DS but we live at the top of a big hill so it's fine going downhill but he then refuses to walk back up the hill! Partly because he doesn't want to go back in the house & partly because he's tired and the hill is steep. Then he has a tantrum & I have to bodily drag him back up it. :eek:

    I'll have to get us all in the car & drive down to a flatter area to have a walk. DS loves going in the car though so that might work.

    My mum's shifts change every week & she mostly works nightshifts so has to sleep some days but there should be at least one day every week that I can visit/she can come here so that I have help. She has always been a great help with DS. :T

    DH also works shifts so he has some weekdays off but other times he is working 7 or 8 days in a row and that will be hard to deal with.

    Swimming, I really hate the screaming and find it so hard to block out. DS knows it gets to me and then he starts sobbing mummy, mummy if I leave the room which makes me feel terrible (even though I'm in the next room and can see him). He did actually try a bit of the dinner after a lot of screaming but then starting screaming again followed by "OH YUCK! OH YUCK!" :cool:

    :rotfl: Maybe someone else will have a solution, my brain is mush right now. :rotfl:
    Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts. Car loan 1 £14,258, Car loan 2 £16,000, 0% CC1 £345. Debt Free Diary to try & keep spending in check.
  • Oh Sashy I feel for you, think my 2 have a similar age gap as DS1 was in full on tantrum stage when DS2 was born.
    I struggled with getting out at first too, I promise it does get easier (and sooner than you think).
    Things I found useful with DS1 was letting him play in the garden even just for 10 minutes seemed to let him burn off energy, I used to pop DS2 in a sling or in his pram so he and I had some fresh air too :)
    Letting DS1 do a bit of messy play while I fed DS2 - put a shower curtain on the floor and let him do things like washing his cars in a tub of water, play doh, finger painting. I also tried to have a 10 minute cuddle and story time with DS1 when DS2 napped (didn't always manage it though).
    I also paid for DS1 to go to his current schools 2 year old provision twice a week. This forced me to get out of the house at a set time and also gave me some much needed respite from him and his tantrums & gave him something just for him to do. A bonus of this was it has really helped with his transition to nursery too.
    Most importantly though give yourself a break, stuff the housework for a while and just get through this time of transition.
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