ex and would be ex-gamblers support thread

cantcope · 9 September 2010 at 6:42AM

How's everyone doing?

riquelme · 9 September 2010 at 11:22PM

ok here, feeling really down about quite a few things including 2 close family members letting me down. I wouldve shrugged it off in days gone by but for some reason after the 24 months that i have experienced with gambling, so called friends issues and marriage breakdown im taking it badly. in the face of this i still havent gambled. the money situation is getting tight so the temptation is there, but dont worry the answer isnt with the bookies.

feeling low, low motivation, missing kids, feel worthless, feel like ive made the same mistakes as the person i didnt want to be

sorry about the gloom everyone but this is where gambling can take you,

stay strong folks, gambling is a quick way to the poor house

GeorgeUK · 9 September 2010 at 11:46PM

Riq, are you having an off week or could you have depression? I don't know about this stuff as i usually think of myself as a miserable so'n'so at the best of times.

Worthless you aint. Don't ever think like that. You're overcoming an addiction - successfully. That by itself is going to be hard. You are taking all the right steps to give your kids the best possible future and to have a father they can be proud of. Yes, you've made mistakes, but you're facing them and making amends for them. That is not something that someone worthless would do.

I have no motivation either, feel contantly drained or hollow, but i keep plodding on because that's what you're meant to do. I don't have the same financial worries as you or the responsabilites. You're a bloomin' inspiration mate. You're doing all the right things and for all the right reasons. Not once have you said that you want to beat this because you want a better life or standard or living. It was always about your family and kids.

When you're down you sometimes need a helping hand to get up. When someone lets you down and you aren't used to either asking for help or relying on assistance - it can be a big blow. Especially if you've been there for them in the past. Try not to let it get to you too much - use it as a learning curve. Knowing who will be there for you is a valuable thing to know. Don't allow their inabilities or weakness to drag you down - that's their problem.

You've probably already looked at the money aspect inside out, but have you tried tarting cards? Switched insurance, or utility providers to get a better deal? Are you on the electoral roll at your address (this can have a huge impact on your credit rating). Can't remember if you were going into a DMP.

Stay strong mate. I know it can be hard sometimes, but i know you've got it in you.
Try to get a good night's rest and start afresh tomorrow.

cantcope · 10 September 2010 at 7:01AM

Sorry to hear you are down Riq. I think when i stopped i started caring about things again and that made me feel like i was doing something wrong. When we gamble we try to block out our emotions and i know i had a "hard face" the whole time Now i don't gamble i feel lots of different emotions that i never felt before.

Since quitting i've managed to shake off the people that weren't really my friends, at the time i didnt realise, or maybe didnt care. But once i stopped i noticed they weren't real friends at all, just users.

Keep posting Riq, it might help if you get it all out on here x

sinkingveryfast · 14 September 2010 at 1:00AM

I have built up some debt down to casino gambling. I have about 10 accounts online. I have just closed 3, and am emailing the others. Is there anyway I can self exclude from all gambling sites. I hate them. I never want to gamble again, but don't want the devil to tempt me.

Feel an absolute **** tonight. Just wasted a few hundred, and my kids could have done so much more with that money. Never again.

cantcope · 14 September 2010 at 7:35AM

You can either exclude yourself one by one, i did this over the phone to them. But then you MUST put a block on your PC. New sites are opening all the time so in a moment of weakness without the block you could do it again

Use can use gamblock or If you have someone that could choose a password then i would recommend K9. It's a free programme that you can choose to filer out all gambling sites. takes minutes to set up.

let us know how you get on x

needhelpindebt · 15 September 2010 at 2:11PM

I've been so stuipid......

Posted my story up here a few weeks ago, at the time i had stopped gambling with approx £30k of debt.

Was lucky enough to have the majority of the money (£25k) loaned to me by my friends/family.

This left me with £5k left on credit cards to pay back....so guess what idea i had to pay this back....yep back on the online sites!!

now back up to £10k in debt

Cant believe how stupid i've been.

Have now got £4k left in "credit" on cards and am fighting myslf not to try and use it to win my losses back.

cantcope · 15 September 2010 at 4:10PM

Time to put the block on your PC and hand control of your finances over to someone close.
You have an addiction and unless you want to continue in this downward spiral you need to do something about it.

you wont ever win your losses back. you may win, but you will put it back trying to win ALL of your losses back. you know this, you have no control. When you admit this you can start to move forward with your life

please dont try top win the losses. from my own experience this ended up with me trying to win back 10k, losing another 70k trying.

Jimby509 · 15 September 2010 at 7:59PM

Needhelpindebt as cantcope says you HAVE to get a block on your pc. I have been using 'txnogam' (just stick it in google and it will pop up) it cost £20 and has saved me hundreds in the past few months.

I understand your situation. I got a loan to pay off debt only to have the bright idea to take it to an online Blackjack table so I could turn over the cash, make a profit and pay off the debts and loan. I lost £4000 in one week. You can't beat the casino.

Don't torcher yourself over the lost money, you can only change what happens now and the best start to making that change is to remove the temptation to gamble and get a gambling block.

riquelme · 15 September 2010 at 9:36PM

needhelp - i can only echo the advice that youve been given already, time to admit you have a problem and do something about it

ex and would be ex-gamblers support thread

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