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    • Buggins
    • By Buggins 25th Jan 18, 7:49 PM
    • 324Posts
    • 243Thanks
    Self help thread. I am a widow coping getting on with it
    • #1
    • 25th Jan 18, 7:49 PM
    Self help thread. I am a widow coping getting on with it 25th Jan 18 at 7:49 PM
    Just wanted to put this thread on to replace the missing one. Worried that some people who have been following the old thread might really need it sometime and won't get the support they need/want. It has, and still does, help me.
Page 50
    • Sammie36
    • By Sammie36 9th Dec 18, 12:07 AM
    • 29 Posts
    • 129 Thanks
    Hi everyone.

    Hope you are all enjoying your weekend.

    I have an appointment with the CAB on Monday to try and deal with some of the fininancial issues. I'm dreading it.

    I can't switch off. I haven't slept properly since it happened but nights like this are the worst.

    I miss him so much.

    • sheilavw
    • By sheilavw 9th Dec 18, 7:50 AM
    • 1,101 Posts
    • 1,645 Thanks
    I hope they can help you out Sammie. You dont need all the worry about finances. I am thinking of you and your lovely children. Keep us updated.
    Look after yourselves x
    • MrAPJI
    • By MrAPJI 9th Dec 18, 10:03 AM
    • 100 Posts
    • 1,283 Thanks
    Well done for making that appointment Sammie - I know how hard that will have been. Talking about what has happened and your new situation won't be easy, but they will understand.

    I found the night time really difficult too. First it was the ''falling to sleep'' that was an issue, and later I would wake up thinking that what had happened, hadn't really at all. Then the realisation that it had, would stir that pain of loss again. With time Sammie, sleep will come more easily.

    Stay strong Sammie.
    • Newly retired
    • By Newly retired 9th Dec 18, 2:41 PM
    • 2,409 Posts
    • 2,819 Thanks
    Newly retired
    Do remember to take plenty of documents with you to your appointment with CAB, so they can best help you eg
    Council tax band and bills, DWP letters about any benefits you already get, HMRC letters about Tax Credits, cost of childcare if applicable , other income, payslips, bank statements, approx value of your house and mortgage or details of rent, amount of savings, details of any debts, regular outgoings, utilities, insurances etc.
    Do be aware it is not a counselling service ( I donít mean to sound harsh, just trying to manage your expectations), but they will do a benefits check and advise you well on the financial side of things and other practicalities, I am sure. There may be grants or trust funds available too. Try not to worry.
    • BucksLady
    • By BucksLady 10th Dec 18, 4:13 PM
    • 538 Posts
    • 1,762 Thanks
    Sammie, hope everything went ok and things were sorted for you xx
    • wort
    • By wort 11th Dec 18, 9:18 AM
    • 970 Posts
    • 11,621 Thanks
    I hope you got some help from cab Sammie. And they put your mind at ease. X
    I'm waiting for dd2 to text to say she's ready to go to the cemetery for Johns birthday I can't believe 18 month have passed it's gone so quickly but it feels like forever since I held him in my arms ,I'd do anything to just be able to do that.. I had dgson overnight so only now had a minute, so I'm trying to keep busy. I've had a shower and I'm going to tidy.
    Hope everyone is well sending hugs x
    Focus on contribution instead of the impressiveness of consumption to see the true beauty in people.
    • Sammie36
    • By Sammie36 11th Dec 18, 2:57 PM
    • 29 Posts
    • 129 Thanks
    Hi everyone.

    Wort, I hope johns birthday went as well as it could have. Sending you love.
    Hope you enjoy your nieces graduation meal later.

    • wort
    • By wort 12th Dec 18, 9:28 AM
    • 970 Posts
    • 11,621 Thanks
    Thank you Sammie xx
    Focus on contribution instead of the impressiveness of consumption to see the true beauty in people.
    • humptydumptybits
    • By humptydumptybits 12th Dec 18, 8:36 PM
    • 2,553 Posts
    • 10,383 Thanks
    Hi Sammie, I hope the CAB were able to help. Money worries are the last straw when you are struggling particularly at this time of year when you have children. Good luck.
    • Sammie36
    • By Sammie36 23rd Dec 18, 10:37 PM
    • 29 Posts
    • 129 Thanks

    I hope you all have a nice as possible Christmas.

    • happyandcontented
    • By happyandcontented 23rd Dec 18, 10:56 PM
    • 1,981 Posts
    • 4,366 Thanks
    You too, Sammie. Take care of yourself as well as everyone else.
    • MrAPJI
    • By MrAPJI 24th Dec 18, 11:56 AM
    • 100 Posts
    • 1,283 Thanks
    Sammie, sending my very best wishes on your birthday. I know it will be difficult for you - but stay strong
    My thoughts are with you all this xmas time.
    • sheilavw
    • By sheilavw 24th Dec 18, 9:26 PM
    • 1,101 Posts
    • 1,645 Thanks
    Hope you are all ok Sammi x
    • L-J-R
    • By L-J-R 24th Dec 18, 9:37 PM
    • 29 Posts
    • 58 Thanks
    My best wishes to all those going through sadness, with hope that there will be glimmers of light to focus on.
    • Sammie36
    • By Sammie36 24th Dec 18, 10:44 PM
    • 29 Posts
    • 129 Thanks

    Thank you for your well wishes. Today as been a tough one. I didn't think it possible to cry as much as I have done.

    Dreading tomorrow also. I hope I can keep myself together for the children.

    Sending my love to everyone going through similar and sending my thanks to everyone who has offered me words of reassurance over the last few weeks. It has helped me so much.

    Hope it goes as well as can be expected.
    Sammie xxxx
    • Dymphna60
    • By Dymphna60 24th Dec 18, 10:54 PM
    • 51 Posts
    • 47 Thanks
    I am not good with words but will be thinking of you Sammie .

    • Sammie36
    • By Sammie36 28th Dec 18, 1:00 PM
    • 29 Posts
    • 129 Thanks

    I hope everyone is ok.

    I'm glad Christmas is over. Wow it was so hard. I have been crying constantly since Xmas eve - I dont seem to be able to stop.

    I don't know what to do.

    Sammie x
    • sheilavw
    • By sheilavw 28th Dec 18, 8:31 PM
    • 1,101 Posts
    • 1,645 Thanks
    Sammie I have been thinking of you. I think the 'first'everything is so difficult xx
    • daisy 1571
    • By daisy 1571 28th Dec 18, 9:26 PM
    • 486 Posts
    • 5,857 Thanks
    daisy 1571
    Sammie I'm sure the hospital or doctors will have said but cpr is fantastic for someone who has had an accident or a shock and the heart has stopped. For someone with a problem with the heart it's not the miracle cure that TV and films would have us believe so dont ever think you did anything not correctly. You did everything you could and more than lots of people would be able to do and you got the professionals there as quickly as they could. I'm so sorry this happened and I hope that, like others have said, it's getting a tiny bit more manageable some hours, or even minutes, of the day. You did amazing to answer your sons question and help him understand it in his own (age appropriate) way.

    I've been thinking of you and sending strength through the ether, as to everyone who posts and reads this thread.

    Hugs to anyone who needs one right now

    Daisy xxx
    "Never save something for a special occasion. Every day in your life is a special occasion" Take hold of every moment by anon

    The difference between what you were yesterday and what you will be tomorrow is what you do today
    • lessonlearned
    • By lessonlearned 29th Dec 18, 8:23 AM
    • 11,584 Posts
    • 79,821 Thanks
    Hello Everyone. Hope you are all well and that the Christmas period was as enjoyable as it could be......its a difficult time for those who have lost loved ones.

    Sammie I don't post often on the widows thread now. It's been over 4 years since my husband died and I made a deliberate decision to walk away from this thread so I could rebuild my life without constantly looking back to the past.

    However, I just wanted to post to offer you my sincere condolences and very best wishes. And a gentle virtual hug. You are so young and what makes it even harder for you is that you have young children and to top it all, you have financial worries.

    I am so sorry it is so rough for you.

    Well done on getting through Christmas, it must have been gruelling and of course you will be nervous about New Year and what the future might hold.

    What can I say.......words seems so inadequate at times but it's all I have. All I can say is that you will get through it, you will find the strength and courage you need, you will do it for your children.

    One day it will get easier, but it will take time. There will be the odd moment of peace, there will come a time when you can go a whole day without shedding a tear, when you will find yourself smiling at something your children have said or done.

    It will happen eventually.

    In the meantime, sending you my very best wishes.
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