Inheritance Tax/Care Home Fees/Depravation Assets

elsien wrote: »

Actually yes, the more I think about it the crosser I'm getting. He's not renting a bigger house at the moment and there's no way she's costing him £800 pm so there is no justification to take that amount from her. He is using her.

There is always the option of housing with care she could look into. That is renting, so there will be a cost implication, but it's a step up from warden controlled in terms of the support on offer. The number of care visits would be assessed and may well be the 4 a day as before. The positives are that there are communal lunches people can buy if they wish, more company/activities, help if there is an emergency in between calls but people have their own flats so can cook if they wish.
The local authority would have more information. However under the Care Act assessments depend on where mum is "ordinarily resident" and as she's been away from home for so long there may be a bit of a debate about where home now is. But she is still entitled to an assessment regardless. That's where your 4 a day visits would have come from initially.

YoungBlueEyes wrote: »

The housing with care sounds like a good plan. It sounds like if she bought a flat of her own near you she'd be round at yours all day anyway, as her own flat doesn't address the loneliness/loving the grandkids part.

Genuine question - what do the 'further down the line when I cannot look after her/ has to go in a home' type comments mean? Where do people draw the line? What's 'too much' to cope with at home?

SevenOfNine wrote: »

Just as a rough guide, my elderly dementia FiL (deceased recently & I've been through every inch of his income/expenditure), lived in a 3 bedroom house on his own for 14 months since MiL died.

Every bill you can possibly ever think of including nearly £500pm for homecare visits that had to start, absolutely everything (even Sky sport, dentures & toenail cutting) accounted for EXCEPT food, averaged out at £1093 pm the 14 month period.

There is no way your mum is costing £800 to live with your brother, perhaps he feels he can charge her more because SiL is providing a level of 'care'? An LA aren't going to see it like that.

My BiL burned through a further £12k of the old guy's money when all he actually had to pay for was his food. I suppose it was fortuitous that FiL died just as it became increasingly obvious he need a care home, because BiL would have had some questions to answer as soon as LA looked at the bank statements.

TBH SpideressUK we'd been a little like you, a bit 'head in sand' as things chugged along with BiL 'in charge', fooled by the 'devoted son' act.

Also, you should chat with the estate agent before knocking yourself out on the decorating. We cleared 65 years of personal possessions, left all the tatty, knackered old furnishings (including stair lift), didn't decorate or clean a single room, massive garden full of junk, just as the estate agent instructed us to.

House sold 'as is', got an offer of our asking price within 1 day of it going on the market, & two more the day after that.