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  • FIRST POST
    • Waves and Smiles
    • By Waves and Smiles 17th Mar 16, 4:23 PM
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    Waves and Smiles
    Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3
    • #1
    • 17th Mar 16, 4:23 PM
    Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3 17th Mar 16 at 4:23 PM
    This thread is a continuation of The Mental Health thread “Here we can all be heard for a little while Part 2”. The previous thread can be found here-

    http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5320917&page=501

    I started the original thread when I was lonely and suffering with mental health issues and was lucky to find a wonderful group of amazing new friends who now mean the world to me. My name was Worried and Scared back then but with the help of everyone here I became Waves and Smiles. This thread is no longer just about me, it is about all of us and for anyone who needs mental health support, their carers and anyone who is interested in learning more. Sometimes we speak seriously, sometimes we offer gentle advice and a lot of the time we laugh together. Sometimes I write mini-novels about my experiences of living with complex mental illness. What is important is everyone here is there for each other. New posters are welcome to join in, or just lurk (we call them humming birds because they hover!) if they would prefer. This is a place without judgement or pressure, and a safe place for everyone. We try to keep abbreviations to a minimum but if there are some that you do not understand please ask.

    Sir Pugliet is our Good Mental Health pug! You may notice that he is mentioned from time to time, he is a little cuddly pug toy that was sent to me by a friend on the thread. He is something of a celebrity now!


    Hugs and warm handshakes, or finger squishes, whichever you prefer.

    Also, please take a look at the following links which offer great advice written by the lovely people at MSE!

    http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/news/family/2016/03/martin-lewis-launches-new-money--mental-health-policy-institute

    http://blog.moneysavingexpert.com/2016/05/16/the-money-and-mental-health-policy-institute-whatll-it-really-do

    http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/credit-cards/mental-health-guide
    Last edited by Waves and Smiles; 17-05-2016 at 9:29 AM.
    Until one has loved an animal a part of one's soul remains unawakened - Anatole France

    If I knew that the world would end tomorrow, I would still plant apple trees today - Martin Luther King
Page 549
    • Waves and Smiles
    • By Waves and Smiles 15th Apr 19, 1:37 PM
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    Waves and Smiles
    I was woken at 3am and 5.30am last night. At 3am the hospital called to say WaSp was sitting on the floor refusing oxygen and could I please phone him. I tried 5 times before the consultant picked up the phone and told me WaSp wouldn't answer as he doesn't believe it's me because I am in India! That was interesting. The consultant said he would continue to try to reason with him.

    At 5.30am the consultant called again. Richard's oxygen stats had dropped to 64 and he had previously had bleeding inside his lungs. They felt they had no choice but to move him to ICU and place him in an induced coma because his psychosis was preventing them from treating him at all. I asked about sectioning him and they said although that would allow them to hold him in the hospital it wouldn't allow them to treat him. However, there is a clause called Better Help that does allow them to treat a patient who is considered mentally incompetent. They asked me if I agreed to this and of course I said absolutely.

    So for now things are very quiet. They will keep him in the induced coma until the immunosuppressents kick in and they can reduce the steroids. They said I can visit anytime but frankly he won't know I am there (an induced coma isn't the same as trauma coma, in an induced you are fast asleep) so I might just want to wait until they wake him up.

    I am going to scrub the front door now, still can't sit still.
    Last edited by Waves and Smiles; 15-04-2019 at 1:40 PM.
    Until one has loved an animal a part of one's soul remains unawakened - Anatole France

    If I knew that the world would end tomorrow, I would still plant apple trees today - Martin Luther King
    • calleyw
    • By calleyw 15th Apr 19, 2:02 PM
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    calleyw
    Oh WaS,


    You are going through it. As you say induced coma makes sense if he is going to refuse treatment. Helps the body recover as it does have do or think about anything.


    Don't burn yourself out. I know you want to keep your mind busy. Bur make sure you drink plenty, eat and get rest.


    You are both in my thoughts


    Yours


    Calley x
    Hope for everything and expect nothing!!!

    Good enough is almost always good enough -Prof Barry Schwartz

    If it scares you, it might be a good thing to try -Seth Godin
    • dandy-candy
    • By dandy-candy 15th Apr 19, 2:46 PM
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    dandy-candy
    WaS an induced coma sounds like the best thing, all the medications will get to work without him (unintentionally) being able to interfere with his oxygen. In the ICU he will get the best care too.

    Keep busy but do get breaks and remember to eat. Can you get a delivery of ready meals you can bung in the oven/microwave, or stuff like tinned souP?
    • Waves and Smiles
    • By Waves and Smiles 15th Apr 19, 3:11 PM
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    Waves and Smiles
    I am living off salads at the moment because I can't hurt myself cooking those. Ready meals I can ping is a good idea!

    The consultant is going to call me at 5pm with the latest update. ICU called me and we arranged a password for when I call them. Because he is on ICU now they will only give information to the next of kin so I have to quote the password everytime. WaSp is fast asleep right now and will be for a while.
    Until one has loved an animal a part of one's soul remains unawakened - Anatole France

    If I knew that the world would end tomorrow, I would still plant apple trees today - Martin Luther King
    • jobbingmusician
    • By jobbingmusician 15th Apr 19, 3:24 PM
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    jobbingmusician
    WaS

    Although the latest news sounds horrible, it has had a good outcome. It does sound very positive to put WaSP into a coma so that his whole system can concentrate on absorbing the meds and getting better. Fingers - in fact everything - crossed for a good update at 5pm (and don't panic if it's a bit late, as consultants are famously overworked) xxxx
    I'm the Board Guide on the Matched Betting; Referrers and Jobseeking & Training boards. I'm a volunteer to help the boards run smoothly, and I can move and merge posts there. Board guides are not moderators and don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com (it's not part of my role to deal with this). Any views are mine and not the official line of MoneySavingExpert.com.

    The good folk of the matched betting board are now (I hope!) supporting Macmillan, in memory of Fifigrace. Visit
    https://www.gofundme.com/running-the-leeds-10k-for-macmillan
    • mellymoo74
    • By mellymoo74 15th Apr 19, 3:36 PM
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    mellymoo74
    WaS you will find they get used to your voice I know that was the case with me.
    Don't be too surprised if the psychosis continues with Wasp it's common to believe that you have been kidnapped in ITU.
    Make sure you get support, very very important the stress is intense.

    Here if you need me xx
    • mellymoo74
    • By mellymoo74 15th Apr 19, 3:37 PM
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    mellymoo74
    Oh in ITU they have the right to agree to stuff on the patients behalf
    If you remember OH had a tracheostomy that was signed for by the doc in ITU. Xxxx
    • calleyw
    • By calleyw 15th Apr 19, 4:14 PM
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    calleyw
    WaS,


    For popty ping (microwave) meals try:


    https://www.wiltshirefarmfoods.com/
    https://www.oakhousefoods.co.uk/


    they ready meals. Never used them myself but they don't seem to bad. And can all be ordered on-line.


    Yours


    Calley x
    Hope for everything and expect nothing!!!

    Good enough is almost always good enough -Prof Barry Schwartz

    If it scares you, it might be a good thing to try -Seth Godin
    • jobbingmusician
    • By jobbingmusician 15th Apr 19, 4:49 PM
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    jobbingmusician
    LOL at popty ping and WaS learning Welsh. (Are you, WaS?)

    My experience of the Welsh valleys is that there are lots of Lidls. Is this true where you are, WaS? I can recommend some stuff if there is one and someone can get there for you.
    I'm the Board Guide on the Matched Betting; Referrers and Jobseeking & Training boards. I'm a volunteer to help the boards run smoothly, and I can move and merge posts there. Board guides are not moderators and don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com (it's not part of my role to deal with this). Any views are mine and not the official line of MoneySavingExpert.com.

    The good folk of the matched betting board are now (I hope!) supporting Macmillan, in memory of Fifigrace. Visit
    https://www.gofundme.com/running-the-leeds-10k-for-macmillan
    • Waves and Smiles
    • By Waves and Smiles 15th Apr 19, 5:12 PM
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    Waves and Smiles
    Thank you all for the meal advice!

    Melly, I think the consultant said to me at 5am something about now they can do what they think is right for him even if he disagrees. I was half asleep and agreeing to everything at that point.

    I know a bit of Welsh now JM! We have every supermarket in the surrounding towns, just nothing here in this tiny little village.

    Well, the news isn't too great. He has had another lung bleed. The blood is filling his lungs and making his breathing worse so he is now on a ventilator. They will do a plasma exchange starting from tomorrow and every other day until the nasty blood cells stop appearing. They have only managed one so far because they have to use the jugular vein and it wasn't safe when he was randomly wandering off.

    WaSp is asleep and oblivious to all of it thankfully.
    Last edited by Waves and Smiles; 15-04-2019 at 5:14 PM.
    Until one has loved an animal a part of one's soul remains unawakened - Anatole France

    If I knew that the world would end tomorrow, I would still plant apple trees today - Martin Luther King
    • jobbingmusician
    • By jobbingmusician 15th Apr 19, 5:14 PM
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    jobbingmusician
    OK, so I'm going to be really Pollyanna here. Perhaps even being on a ventilator is a good idea, as it mean his body can get profound rest, and concentrate on getting better.

    Thinking of you - do email if you want to xxxxx
    I'm the Board Guide on the Matched Betting; Referrers and Jobseeking & Training boards. I'm a volunteer to help the boards run smoothly, and I can move and merge posts there. Board guides are not moderators and don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com (it's not part of my role to deal with this). Any views are mine and not the official line of MoneySavingExpert.com.

    The good folk of the matched betting board are now (I hope!) supporting Macmillan, in memory of Fifigrace. Visit
    https://www.gofundme.com/running-the-leeds-10k-for-macmillan
    • Waves and Smiles
    • By Waves and Smiles 15th Apr 19, 5:15 PM
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    Waves and Smiles
    Thanks JM, I am just grateful that they are all doing all they can. They are throwing so many treatments and machines at this disease, they are really trying to beat it.
    Until one has loved an animal a part of one's soul remains unawakened - Anatole France

    If I knew that the world would end tomorrow, I would still plant apple trees today - Martin Luther King
    • pollyanna 26
    • By pollyanna 26 16th Apr 19, 9:03 AM
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    pollyanna 26
    I hope there were no phone calls last night and the hospital team are making progress now your husband is in the induced coma.
    I know a number of people who use Wiltshire farm foods. They cost a little more than supermarket meals but seem to have a wide choice of well balanced meals and those I've spoken to say the delivery service is very reliable with nice unhurried people delivering .
    pollyx.
    • pollyanna 26
    • By pollyanna 26 16th Apr 19, 9:36 AM
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    pollyanna 26
    Hugs and strength to WaS and WaSp.

    Today has been a weird day of galloping anxiety and paranoia. I decided to go out on my own to look around the local shops because last week I barely left the house and only when accompanied. I had to pay by phone and it doesn't confirm how long you have paid for it just says "vehicle parking confirmed " so I was worried I had accidentally put in 20 mins instead of 120 mins.

    I wasn't after anything in particular, it was just about getting out, so I just wondered aimlessly in and out of about a dozen shops. When it got close to leaving time I suddenly thought "What if someone thinks I'm shoplifting? What if they stop me and I miss my parking time limit and get a ticket?" And then scenarios in my head of going to court etc etc.

    I drove home rather stressed and am trying to relax. It is ridiculous and I know it is ridiculous, but there's a part of my brain that won't shut up and constantly undermines me. I can't seem to squash that inner voice down and I don't know what to do about it. I don't really want to go to my therapist again as she didn't really help the last few times, and I don't want to go to a new one as I have such a huge backstory it would take about 10 sessions to get her up to speed! Are there any books that anyone has found useful in getting control of the negative thoughts?
    Originally posted by dandy-candy

    However long the back story there will be someone you can learn to trust and engage with out there. Obviously the therapist you mention is not that person.


    My dd had various therapists from the age of 13 none of which understood or were helpful , in fact some did more harm than good .
    After a number of years of none our wonderful GP brought a counseler into the practice who was just completing her advanced qualification . They worked through stuff from the age of 7 not 13 as had always been thought when her struggles appeared . It took just over a year of 2 weekly appts to really turn things around . My dd has physical health problems so that was taken into account . If she was too ill or exhausted it wasn't a problem and they'd often to a quick online catch up.



    Some people find books or online things helpful but they didn't work for my dd . It needed the right fit to help bring out and deal with the past. She's 34 now and it was a long wait but she has the tools in her toolbox to challenge any memories or thoughts which intrude . She can go back if needed.
    polly
    • calleyw
    • By calleyw 16th Apr 19, 1:19 PM
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    calleyw
    Afternoon everyone,


    Hugs and squishes and handshakes all round.


    WaS still thinking about you and your partner.


    Sadly this end, AM has broken his wrist and will require surgery!!!! So he is going to be off for weeks by the look of it. Oh fun.


    I was already feeling edgy before this happened but got a call saying he has fallen and he was 1.5 miles away with the car. So had to get my dad out to take me, could have walked but no idea how long it would take for the ambulance to get there. Got home at 2am!!!!


    Everyone take care




    Yours


    Calley x
    Hope for everything and expect nothing!!!

    Good enough is almost always good enough -Prof Barry Schwartz

    If it scares you, it might be a good thing to try -Seth Godin
    • Waves and Smiles
    • By Waves and Smiles 16th Apr 19, 2:06 PM
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    Waves and Smiles
    Oh no! Poor AM! Hope you get some rest today Calley and catch up on your sleep.

    WaSp is going to be having daily dialysis and a daily plasma exchange for the next 10 days to try to remove the nasty ANCA cells causing the problem and to try to kick-start his kidneys, They tried waking him up and they said he "got a bit frisky" so they have decided to stick with the induced coma for now so that he doesn't pull any of the tubes out.

    I am going to penguin the next bit, it talks about the worse case scenario.

    It suddenly occurred to me that a ventilator is actually life support. If things go wrong I as the next of kin will be asked whether to turn it off. After all the guilt I carry about being blamed for my parents suicides this is my worst nightmare. I have no idea what it would do to my mental health or if I'd ever recover, I already carry massive amounts of guilt over causing previous deaths. Hopefully it won't come to it but if it did I think it could destroy me.

    End penguin
    Until one has loved an animal a part of one's soul remains unawakened - Anatole France

    If I knew that the world would end tomorrow, I would still plant apple trees today - Martin Luther King
    • calleyw
    • By calleyw 16th Apr 19, 2:11 PM
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    • 16,605 Thanks
    calleyw
    WaS,


    Thanks, its wait and see when the surgery is. He managed to break both bones in his wrist!!!


    Looks like they are doing the all they can for WaSP. I have everything crossed for both of you.


    Re: The penguin: I do understand it not nice to have to think about. But not at that stage yet and fingers crossed it wont.


    Take care


    Yours


    Calley X
    Last edited by calleyw; 16-04-2019 at 2:14 PM.
    Hope for everything and expect nothing!!!

    Good enough is almost always good enough -Prof Barry Schwartz

    If it scares you, it might be a good thing to try -Seth Godin
    • pollyanna 26
    • By pollyanna 26 16th Apr 19, 2:50 PM
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    pollyanna 26
    WaS go back to page 545 Post10884. You'll be well aware a crash followed by new meds takes time to sort. That post was 11 days ago . It's now day 6 of WaSp being in hospital and you've been worried and concerned about him . So you have coped amazingly just a few days after needing the new med .


    I'm not going to suggest some random distraction method after reading your penguin but you and we know those thoughts are from the past and none of those things that were planted in your brain back then were valid . They are working so hard to bring WaSp back home and you would never harm him in any way.
    pollyx


    calley I hope AM is soon sorted and you manage some rest .
    Last edited by pollyanna 26; 16-04-2019 at 2:55 PM.
    • dandy-candy
    • By dandy-candy 16th Apr 19, 3:40 PM
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    dandy-candy
    Calleyw - I hope they get AM patched up and mended quickly. Has he got some baggy jumpers and tracksuit bottoms he can get in and out of one handed? Buttons and zips will be difficult.

    WaS - you are doing brilliantly, don’t let your mind “go there” on worst case scenario (easier said than done I know). The doctors are doing their very best so hopefully all will go well (hugs)
    • dandy-candy
    • By dandy-candy 16th Apr 19, 3:42 PM
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    dandy-candy
    Pollyanna- I’m glad that you daughter got the help she needed in the end. I think you are right and at some point I will need to go through it all again with a new therapist. Just the thought of it is exhausting though!
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